I love Hudson. And I love it just the way it is.
Right now, I think Hudson is cutting edge....it's like being at CBGB's while Blondie was waitressing and DeeDee Ramone was giving blow jobs in the bathroom.
We need to steer Hudson in the direction that WE want to take it. And not let Hudson become too lah-di-fucking-dah. Ya know what I mean?
For instance, my friend tells a story of how he was at the Dot and a charming elder British couple was talking about how enchanted they were about our lovely city and the Victorian blah blah blahs....wouldn't it be just smashing to own a home in Hudson...
Then, a Hudsonite began to tell his story of how HE gave the best blow jobs.....rather loudly...
"I give the best blow jobs, because I start all the way at the asshole and work my way up."
Well, the British couple just sat quietly for the rest of the evening and finished their stew.
Now, I'm not saying that we have to SCARE all the new comers....well, ok, yes, we do, but just a little bit...
For instance, let's start the annual "Hudson City Anal Health Fair".
The slogan? "The Fleet's come back to Hudson!"
It's a fabulous idea, everyone has an anus; gay, straight, bi, black, and white. You know the straight men will be on board if we hand out pamphlets,
"How to Get Your Wife/Girlfriend to Take it Up the Ass."
It would be the first event organized by Hudson B.O.O.B., the Bottom Owned and Operated Business group - that was yesterday's idea for this town.
Here are some of the exhibits:
- A booth for free prostate exams "Yep, you're OK....oh wait...let me just...hmmm....no.... wait, I thought I felt something.....no....maybe....what is that? hold on, let me get my analscope...."
- Which butt plug is right for you?
- Douching - Just Douche It!
Really, though, don't you wish that some of your ex boyfriends had gone to an Anal Health Fair BEFORE they met you? Or, is that just the class of guys that I've been dating....
OK, I've come up with enough ideas for this town...whew...
What do you think?