I was walking down Warren Street this fine lovely day, and a COUPLE, two gay men, approached me and asked me to come back to their place and have sex with them.
What should I do?
---Confused in Claverack
RUN THE OTHER WAY! It's not worth it, babydoll....
Yes, sex with a COUPLE sounds like fun, and in some instances can be, but most of the time, it's NOT. ESPECIALLY, if you're going to have sex with them in THEIR home in THEIR bed.
You think I was kidding about the harsh lighting at the Walmart? It's about environment.
It usually ends up badly; they're fighting with each other and you're there, naked, drumming your fingers along the bedpost listening to them to sort out their relationship.
Or, they're fighting, and you're gathering up your clothes, feeling like a used-up whore, trying not to forget anything, because you know you don't want to talk to them again for ANY reason....
Or, if they're not fighting at the time, they will be, as soon as you leave.
Very rarely does sex with a couple work out. The couple needs to be very secure in their relationship.
Or, if the "couple" is two hot lesbians going at it, and you're an out-of-shape straight guy, then YES, it totally works out. Because, we all know, lesbians LOVE dick, especially dick on a straight guy who just happens to be caught "watching"....
Back to my point -- sex, whether we like to admit it or not, involves emotions. And sex with a couple involves YEARS of emotions - BOOM - all at once; jealously, happiness, bitterness, angst.
If the couple wants to have sex with another, they should either go to a sex club, or hire a prostitute. Remember, prostitution put this town on the map! And if the couple is "bored" with each other, then they need to sort their shit out.
Or, not be a couple.
"Confused", DON'T GET INVOLVED!
Run, babydoll, run.
PS - If you REALLY want to get multiple holes filled at once, call me....I got a suitcase o' dildos.