Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Sex with a Couple?

Dear GayHudson.com,

I was walking down Warren Street this fine lovely day, and a COUPLE, two gay men, approached me and asked me to come back to their place and have sex with them.

What should I do?

---Confused in Claverack



Dear Confused,

RUN THE OTHER WAY! It's not worth it, babydoll....

Yes, sex with a COUPLE sounds like fun, and in some instances can be, but most of the time, it's NOT. ESPECIALLY, if you're going to have sex with them in THEIR home in THEIR bed.

You think I was kidding about the harsh lighting at the Walmart? It's about environment.

It usually ends up badly; they're fighting with each other and you're there, naked, drumming your fingers along the bedpost listening to them to sort out their relationship.

Or, they're fighting, and you're gathering up your clothes, feeling like a used-up whore, trying not to forget anything, because you know you don't want to talk to them again for ANY reason....

Or, if they're not fighting at the time, they will be, as soon as you leave.

Very rarely does sex with a couple work out. The couple needs to be very secure in their relationship.

Or, if the "couple" is two hot lesbians going at it, and you're an out-of-shape straight guy, then YES, it totally works out. Because, we all know, lesbians LOVE dick, especially dick on a straight guy who just happens to be caught "watching"....


Back to my point -- sex, whether we like to admit it or not, involves emotions. And sex with a couple involves YEARS of emotions - BOOM - all at once; jealously, happiness, bitterness, angst.

If the couple wants to have sex with another, they should either go to a sex club, or hire a prostitute. Remember, prostitution put this town on the map! And if the couple is "bored" with each other, then they need to sort their shit out.

Or, not be a couple.

"Confused", DON'T GET INVOLVED!

Run, babydoll, run.

PS - If you REALLY want to get multiple holes filled at once, call me....I got a suitcase o' dildos.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I disagree -- you should at least go over to their house to see it so you can make fun of them with some snide decorating reference afterwards at the Red Dot...

"Oh, here come Mr. & Mrs. Union Street Schumacher Fabric Outlet" or "There's the sisters ABC Carpet & Home sale."

And also, get them naked first before you leave... if they have unusually small penises, there'll be more to yack about later before "Farewell Murder My Sweet Lovely" or whatever starts playing.

Anonymous said...

I agree with most of which you say, but this time I have to say I disagree. If the couple is hot who gives a shit take them home fuck their brains out start a fight between them before you leave. Us them as they are you.... Hot sex is hot sex and today take it where you can get it....
Monkey loves the middle

Rich said...

Point well taken. I did not consider the option of 'who gives a shit if they fight'....

If they're hot, or have great furnishings, fuck their brains out.

As Patrick Stewart's effeminine gay character said in the movie "Jeffrey" (I think) when asked, who would you like to have sex with, he responded, "Yoko Ono".

They asked "Why?"

"Well, just to see the apartment, of course!"

Aaron said...

can you point and laugh at the pee pees and then run away...

i thought that gay couples in hudson were married and wanted nothing to do with the slutty singles that have incorporated their lovely town.

i love the fact you incorporate the match game into every blog...

i love you rich... btw who is babydoll?

Rich said...

I LOVE YOU, TOO! Everyone who reads/comments, you make it all worthwhile.

Thank you.