Sunday, March 4, 2007

Stopped by the Hudson Police

Click image for downloadable mpegs
I was stopped by the police on my way home from the Dot late last night.

I called my friend this morning and told him. His first question?

"Was he cute?"

"No...I mean...he was OK....I wasn't about to have sex with him..."

"But would you? Did he strip search you?"

"Um....that really didn't go through my mind...."

On my way out late last night, I noticed that the police cars were out.

No one was at the Dot....I had two diet Cokes, texted a few of my friends, and decided to call it a night.

On my way home, the police car passed me, then stopped.

He asked me to walk towards him and take my hands out of my pockets.

These were my thoughts as I was walking towards the cop:

  1. OMG, am I drunk?
  2. Inventory time: I had one cosmo five hours ago....and then just two diet cokes.
  3. Wait a second....I'm WALKING....I'm not driving....

That driver's ed class really fucked with my head. As soon as I realized that I really wasn't doing anything wrong...I just told him,

"Yeah, I'm walking home....blah, blah, blah..."

He said, Ok, have a good night....

That's it. No cop sex fantasy story. Sorry.

This morning, of course, I thought about it. What COULD I have said? Could there have been a cavity search -- if I played my cards right?

Porn is fantasy, folks. It's better than reality. THAT'S why people pay for it. If porn was reality, then you wouldn't pay for it, you'd be living it.

....and we don't want that....

So, on that note, take out your dick and your credit card.

Here's a sample of what COULD have happened:

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