Thursday, March 29, 2007

A TROUPLE?

My Dictionary:

TROUPLE: Like a couple, but there's three of you. Get it?

Someone asked me recently, "Would you ever be in a TROUPLE?"

I rolled my eyes and said, "I already have a hard enough time finding ONE gay man who doesn't annoy me, what makes you think I'm going to find TWO?"

He was all pissy, "You know what? That's your problem. EVERYONE annoys you. You're too harsh....I never know what to say to you! I'm always afraid that I'm going to say something that annoys you...."

I looked at him and said, "Well, YOU should be afraid....most of the things you say are stupid."

"Well, I never!" he squealed. He got up, threw his cloth napkin on the table and marched out of Swoon.

He's just a prissy, uptight Hudson bottom; there's really no hope for him.


Yeah, prissy uptight Hudson bottoms....that NARROWS the list down for you, right?

Anyway, I met my first TROUPLE at a party recently.

I was talking to this one cute boy, and he said, that he was now in a "Trouple".

He introduced me to his boyfriends; two lawyers, one was a real estate lawyer, and the other was some other type of boring lawyer.

They were in their forties, the cutie boy was in his twenties, he looked like he was 16...

The lawyers were obviously bored with each other after so many years together (I was bored with them after 5 minutes!), so they invited in a younger, cuter, third.

To the side, the cute boy confided in me (why, I don't know...) he said that he was always waiting for the second shoe to drop. They told him that the three-way relationship was all equal, but he was afraid it wasn't.

You know that if he was telling this to a stranger, then he thought about it a lot.

Now, I didn't want to break his little heart, so I nodded politely.

But inside, I was like, YEAH, DUH! You're doomed! You know what you're bringing to the table, cutie-pie. Don't quit the day job, babydoll....

Because, as we say in the porn biz, there's ALWAYS someone younger, cuter, and who'll work for less.

Why didn't the lawyers just hire an escort? Really? Call a spade a spade.

Now, they got some poor kid involved (although, I'm sure the kid's well taken care of). The problems of WHY the lawyers aren't happy with each other are still unresolved.

Twinkees aren't going to solve your problems for you, folks.

Sorry, I don't buy the whole "trouple" thing.

Can't we just leave trouples to the Mormons?


Mormonism - a great upstate invention!

5 comments:

Diego said...

Well, you know, cuz gay men master the art of solving existential problems so well! You know, serial anonymous cocksucking, Crystal Meth, Trouples...We are just Nietzschean geniuses!

Anonymous said...

Well I for one disagree - I think that if 2,3,4,or more men find themselves enjoying each others company and have a few things in common they should join the "relationship" wagon. I for one having been in 2 long term relationships which both together total more than 1/2 my life. Do not beleive in life long love or commitment. Relationships get old and boring, if you can find others who have your beliefs / values who cares how many are involved just be adults, respect each other and enjoy the fucking sex....

Aaron said...

omg i want a mormon tee shirt. can you have that with the BGA sign near it! :)

Rich said...

True....get it any way you can.

Who am I to stop you? I'm just old fashioned. My dildos have a hand crank.

Anonymous said...

Charles Nelson! Charles Nelson! Charles Nelson! YEAH!!!