Here are the three top reasons I do NOT shop at the WalMart in Greenport:
1. Wal Mart is anti-Union, they pay their people shit, give shitty health care coverage WHILE it's the richest fucking company in the world.
2. The obscene amount of OBESE people.
3. The lighting is way too harsh.
Let's talk about reason number two today....
I have to preface this entire post with the fact that I'm all for the average Joe. As I matter of fact, I LOVE a guy with a little extra cushion for the pushin' !!
Give me a guy with a six pack of abs, and the first thought that comes into MY mind is:
"What's this one over-compensating for?"
(the guy on the left is kinda cute, I'd do him....the guy on the right, total dick.)BUT(T), there's a limit.
I like ass for DAYS, not ass for WEEKS or MONTHS.....
And there must be a decent ass to waist ratio. I'm sure there's a mathematical formula involving the cosine and tangent.
No, not THAT much...So, when a friend of mine told me that he wants to take me to Albany to go out to the bars, my first response was,
"OK, but are they fat? Like, really fat?"
He said, "You're forgetting the realness factor."
...sigh...yes, I know....
A bar here in the East Village does Bear Night once a week. I went once. The place was packed! There were six people in the bar.
To each their own, it's just not for me.
When you need to lose the weight of Nicole Richie, then there's something else going on. There are issues...
I have friends/family who are overweight. I understand. I love them, I'm just not having sex with them.
If the obese guy REALLY wants to have sex with me....well, listen...I already do charity work.
Otherwise, just pay the going rate; and remember, no kissing, no fucking. Cash - in advance.
Babydoll, I got bills; like my two gym memberships and yoga classes.
6 comments:
Lunch special.
yikes! Obese guy looks familiar. Did you do a greenport myspace zip code search?
Babydoll, who was there surgeon... that is the ass I want the one I was telling you about that when you turn around you clear the table.
Booty, booty, booty ever homo likes a big booty....
That's not fat, that's...
OMG, just watch the fucking video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBeLVoWgraQ&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fjoemygod%2Eblogspot%2Ecom%2F
im a white boy and i gots no ass, it sucks to be me, it sucka sucka sucka sucka sucka sucka sucka to be me. alright im done with spontanious musical theatre.
just to let you know, i thought i told you on SAINT patrick's day, Bears get bigger the further north you leave the magical isle of MAN....hattan. you want the mountain man. come to albany. i dont want to know what they look like in Dannemora.
im done with my charity work. everything i do is a tax right off, and i mean EVERYTHING.
Albany is great. Picking up drunk college ass is easy like Sunday morning.
And Mom.
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