MitziI would like to dispel the rumor in town. I'm NOT Tippy's "bitch". A female cat is a "Queen", a female DOG is a "bitch". Don't believe me? Google it, human, and get back to me.
Plus, Tippy and I haven't been together in years.
That photo, in the post "Meet the Staff of GayHudson.com" was NOT Tippy. I know Tippy, and that wasn't him. This is the REAL Tippy:
Tippy's a two-timing Tom cat. This is MY story, it's Mitzi's turn now!It all started about two or three lives ago. I was an undergrad at Columbia, majoring in economics. (Looking back, I should have bought more real estate in Manhattan then. If I knew then what I know now.....hindsight.)
Anyway, we're at this bar and my friend Elanor was in heat. She really needed to get laid.
ElanorElanor's a big gal. She's moved to Texas where the Toms like their Queens big. She's dating some oil rig worker now.
Anyway, Taylor, (THAT is the cat in the "Meet the Staff" blog post), and Tippy start talking to us. Taylor's talking me up and Tippy is Taylor's wingman, so he's talking to Elanor.
Well, Taylor goes out to the litter box and I start talking to Tippy. We totally connect. Tippy's into accounting, and at the time, accounting was my minor. It was great. I heard the "click".
Elanor ends up hooking up with Taylor, and I go back home with Tippy. Tippy and I do catnip all night long, the sex was great. Looking back, that was my biggest mistake.
Elanor and I just should have left those two losers at the bar. I should have told Elanor to use the vibrating pencil eraser, like she always does. Those two Toms are such bad news.
Two lives and a litter later, I'm nursing Tippy's kittens while he's out fucking every Queen in Columbia County [Editor's Note: Sounds like most of GayHudson.com's readers....].
I'm out there working TWO jobs, and Tippy is just sitting at home watching TV, playing with his fucking scratch post all day.
I finally just turned my tail up to that asshole and that was the best day of THAT life.
Ok, yes, there's a part of me that misses Tippy. I guess you can never really let it all go. I wish it had been different. But, it's not. It's never going to be the way I want it. He's never going to change. Not in this life or the next two or three.
It's not easy being a single Queen in Hudson. [Editor: Yes, Mitzi, I know] So many of the Toms you meet are such jerks, spraying everywhere. Always cruising the next alley.
Luckily, I have my career in real estate to keep me busy. I got my broker license a couple of years ago. I tell people, buy in Newark. Trust me, Newark is the next Jersey City. Sure, no one wants to live in Newark now, but do you remember Jersey City ten years ago? Now, you can't even afford it. It's ridiculous.
And, if Tippy's reading this.....Tippy, in some way, I still love you. I'm sorry it never worked out. Maybe one of these days we can get together, over a saucer of milk, maybe go see the kittens. You know, our kittens have kittens now......and those kittens have kittens....
It was fun, Tippy. Thanks for the good times.
Purrs,
Mitzi
Editor's Note:
Mitzi's diary, "Catty Thoughts" is currently being optioned at Knopf.
Anyway, Taylor, (THAT is the cat in the "Meet the Staff" blog post), and Tippy start talking to us. Taylor's talking me up and Tippy is Taylor's wingman, so he's talking to Elanor.
Well, Taylor goes out to the litter box and I start talking to Tippy. We totally connect. Tippy's into accounting, and at the time, accounting was my minor. It was great. I heard the "click".
Elanor ends up hooking up with Taylor, and I go back home with Tippy. Tippy and I do catnip all night long, the sex was great. Looking back, that was my biggest mistake.
Elanor and I just should have left those two losers at the bar. I should have told Elanor to use the vibrating pencil eraser, like she always does. Those two Toms are such bad news.
Two lives and a litter later, I'm nursing Tippy's kittens while he's out fucking every Queen in Columbia County [Editor's Note: Sounds like most of GayHudson.com's readers....].
I'm out there working TWO jobs, and Tippy is just sitting at home watching TV, playing with his fucking scratch post all day.
I finally just turned my tail up to that asshole and that was the best day of THAT life.
Ok, yes, there's a part of me that misses Tippy. I guess you can never really let it all go. I wish it had been different. But, it's not. It's never going to be the way I want it. He's never going to change. Not in this life or the next two or three.
It's not easy being a single Queen in Hudson. [Editor: Yes, Mitzi, I know] So many of the Toms you meet are such jerks, spraying everywhere. Always cruising the next alley.
Luckily, I have my career in real estate to keep me busy. I got my broker license a couple of years ago. I tell people, buy in Newark. Trust me, Newark is the next Jersey City. Sure, no one wants to live in Newark now, but do you remember Jersey City ten years ago? Now, you can't even afford it. It's ridiculous.
And, if Tippy's reading this.....Tippy, in some way, I still love you. I'm sorry it never worked out. Maybe one of these days we can get together, over a saucer of milk, maybe go see the kittens. You know, our kittens have kittens now......and those kittens have kittens....
It was fun, Tippy. Thanks for the good times.
Purrs,
Mitzi
Editor's Note:
Mitzi's diary, "Catty Thoughts" is currently being optioned at Knopf.
1 comment:
Knopf? LOL... they've already gotten calls from Morris the cat's lawyers... and Sylvester is positively freaking...
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