I bought an old house from Nantucket....

I went to Hudson....

and bought an old house from Nantucket.
My roof leaks into a bucket.
There isn't a man
Who's worth half a damn
And as for the gay scene, oh, FUCK IT!

- RV

Other variations:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.


Which was followed by:


But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
The man and the girl with the bucket;
And he said to the man,
He was welcome to Nan,
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.


ugh, and the Long Islanders chimed in...

Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset,
Where he still held the cash as an asset,
But Nan and the man
Stole the money and ran,
And as for the bucket, Manhasset.

yeah, I know, it's getting worse....just tell this one at the Red Dot...

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
While wiping his chin,
He said with a grin,
"If my ear were a cunt, I could fuck it."