What kind of girl are you?
Are you a South of Warren girl?
Or a North of Warren girl?
South of Warren Girls:
Restaurants: Ca Mea, DA|BA
Exercise: Pilates Hudson
Blow Jobs: Delicate, no teeth. Used to practice on Daddy
Job: Don't work. Use Daddy's trust fund (see blow jobs above)
North of Warren Girls:
Restaurants: Hudson Grand Buffet, Blimpies
Exercise: Kickboxing in the open lot on State and 4th.
Blow Jobs: Known for the best in the Hudson Valley. Beware, since North of Warren girls are so drunk and wasted, they have a tendency to puke on your dick. It's the best head you're going to get, but you might spend the rest of the evening picking vomit chunks out of your pubic hair.
[Editor's note: The blog title DOES SAY "More than you'd care to know"....we warned you.]
Job: Stewarts, Blimpies, busing tables at the Hudson Grand Buffet (you can take leftovers home, see restaurants, above.)