Monday, August 27, 2007

Lesbians in Hudson

Aaron, the frequent commenter told me this weekend....

"PLUEEZ. That site is SO six months ago! I've already moved on to!"

Of course, if lesbians build a site, it's a .org - everything they do is not-for-profit!

yeah, yeah, yeah....I guess I never do talk about the lesbians of Hudson, do I?

Well...ok, TRUE story here, folks.

One day, I'm walking towards Warren Street, in my capri pants, and these two middle aged, Christopher St. queens come up to me, point towards State Street and say,

"Is this the GAY part of town?"

I made them repeat it twice, because I couldn't really believe they were asking me that question.

I said, "State Street? No. State Street is the LESBIAN part of town. You want Allen Street, around 2nd or 3rd. That's much gayer."

Is there even a gay part of Hudson?

If we had a lot map of Hudson, and painted pink the gay-owned properties, where would the pinkest part be? Where's the center of the rosebud?

There are a few gay sentinel posts on the outskirts of town - around Glenwood Bloulevard and Worth Streets. Their purpose is to warn the Hudson gay populace of the marauding barbarian hordes that attack from Greenport.

The sentinels play the battle cry warning (Cher's "Gypsys, Tramps, and Thieves"). When you hear that, we all run, screaming and flailing, into the Armory - we'll be surrounded by antiques - safe. Then the trained lesbian warriors will protect us.

When I was interviewed for the New York Times about Hudson last year - and this part is TRUE - they asked me about the town and it's gay population.

I said, "Well, like any town, that's going through a gay transformation, we send the lesbians into the bad neighborhoods first. They do the structural work; the foundations, support beams, sewers....THEN the gay men move in to do the interiors and exteriors, that's how it works....."

I don't know why they didn't use that part of the interview....


aaron said...

first the lesbians, then the gays, then the yuppies, then marylou whitney claims a summer estate and becomes reigns socialite. its just how it works up in these parts.

Anonymous said...

My contractor's name is "Zena"...

Anonymous said...

OK, this is the part where you're outed...

Havens, Published November 3, 2006 NYT

"It’s also a place where people stop on the street to make small talk, said R****** V***, a c******* c********* from the E*** V****** who bought a *00-square-foot town house built in 1*** last summer for $**,000. “My social life is better now after three months in Hudson than after 20 years in Manhattan,” he said."

Rich said...

I'm outed?

As what?

A lesbian?

A vegetarian?

A North Of Warren Anti-Fascist Design Freedom Fighter?

May you sit in comfort with full back support!!!

Fight the power!

Agnes said...

Richie honey there's another girl working that pink wigged look out on Warren Street... and I hear "around the world" is her speciality.

I tell you if you wanna stay in business you gotta either cut that bitch, or find a new gimmick...