....anything....

Miss Trixie in prison attire

The neighbor's kid came over again the other day. AND THIS IS ALL TRUE!! He's some skinny white dirty blond boy, around 13 or 14.

The first question is always,

"Do you have any work?"

"Well," I said, "you just missed some. You could have mowed the back here for ten bucks."

It's a small back yard.

"What!" he was pissed, "That would cost you twenty-five! Not ten!"

"Well," I said, "it doesn't really matter now, anyway. I already did it."

I'm thinking, 'annoying-fucking-kid'.

"Then, can you just give me five dollars?" he asked.

I said, "No, I'm not JUST GIVING you five dollars! You have to work for it!"

Now I'm thinking, 'annoying fucking upstate New Yorkers just take it for granted that us downstaters subsidize their whole fucking economy!'

"OK - how about one dollar!"

"How about NO dollars!" I tell him.

"C'mon, don't you have any work for me? I'll do ANYTHING for you....I mean ANYTHING."

And when he said that, he tilted his head down and gave me big Bette Davis eyes.

I thought, 'this little piece of fucking jailbait!'

I said, "No. There's no work."

I went into my house and got fifty cents and handed it to him.

"Here, go buy an ice cream and leave me alone."

"What? Only 50 cents! You're cheap." I got no 'thank you'.

"Get the fuck out of here," is exactly what I said to him.

He got all mad and kicked the ground. I haven't seen him since.

Yes, it's a true story...