Thursday, October 25, 2007

New level of cynicism?


I think I've hit a new level of cynicism, if that's possible.

My gal pal wants to set me up on a blind date.

We were talking, and she was trying to convince me to go out with him.

She told me, "He's really cute, and when you meet him, he's all like, 'HI!' "

She made a big grin on her face.

I said, "I can tell it's not going to work out. He's already too much for me."

"Well, he's dating this guy now who's all glam, and good-looking, and it's not working out..."

"So, you're going to try to set him up with me, because I'm NOT all glam and good-looking, is that what you're saying?"

"Hmmm.....kinda.....but....he's a nice guy, and he's really cute....did I mention the cute part?"

I looked at her, with my Bea Arthur stare.


"OK, here's the deal. He's cute, good shape, flirty, in his thirties, and outgoing....and he's currently dating someone who's all GLAM. That tells me that his priorities are on the glam. He thinks he WANTS a boyfriend, because it's nice to have the whole package that you see on the magazine ads in OUT. But he doesn't really want a boyfriend, he wants the image of one. He will really never appreciate me, because I'm not the guy in the magazine ad. He'll keep looking over his shoulder, for someone cuter, better body, more money, bigger dick, whatever. We'll date for a while, and then he'll dump me.

Then, in ten or twenty years, when the cute boys are no longer looking at him, he'll tell himself that he's having a 'spiritual' awakening and he'll change his priorities and focus on guys who are stable and secure, goal-oriented, sense of humor, and are just good guys; guys who do other things with their lives other than try to hook up, party, and go to the gym.

Or maybe, he'll never realize that in his lifetime, and he'll continue to cruise and hook up with the next guy which will lead him slowly into the abyss of constant anonymous sex. And you can throw in an alcohol or drug abuse problem, it will help him numb the pain of his loneliness and depression."

My friend stopped, looked at me, and said, "So, you'll go out with him?"

"OK, fine."

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you recognize me? I used to be a respectable citizen. I had a good job and a promising future. I made only one mistake - I went on a blind date. ...Anyone got $10,000 for bail?

Rich said...

Ok.....for the record...

Yes, I exaggerate (just a tad) for the purposes of humor and a good, readable story.

And, since it is a personal blog, I personify everything with myself, whether I believe it or not.

BUT -

there's always some truth to it...

North Fifth Street said...

...some "truth or dare" in it!

Anonymous said...

"She told me, 'He's really cute, and when you meet him, he's all like, 'HI!' '"

Maybe you miunderstood her and she said, "He's really cute, and when you meet him, he's all like, high!"

I mean, that would be keeping with this week's theme and all...

Agnes said...

Trixie hon, I think guys who give up on their dreams and settle are just that: guys who give up on their dreams. I saw a lot of this in the boys coming home from the wars, determined to fit in back with normalcy, they just gave up. Even when they marry, just are still looking over their shoulders, theyre just sadder about it when they do it. If youre not living your dreams every day like I do youre just existing. You see em sitting in their cars with the motor running in the parking lot at Price Chopper, or all alone in their trucks at the Hudson River boat launch. You gotta love your life and love yourself and hold onto your dreams. And wait for that man who supports your dreams. I like the men who keep looking to the horizon, men like Bob Mitchum... I suppose that’s why I never married, tough I usta get a lotta offers, sometime even a half dozen a day...

Rose Marie said...

Agnes, you just don't get it do you? Find a man and nab him. Marry him. Chain him down. Any man with a heartbeat and a 401k. Do you want to live in a refrigerator box warmed by a cat for the rest of your life? How many times do I have to go over this with you...

Anonymous said...

"Then, in ten or twenty years, when the cute boys are no longer looking at him..."

Hot guys are always hot, whether at 16 or 60. Men as sex objects are ageless.

"He'll keep looking over his shoulder, for someone cuter, better body, more money, bigger dick, whatever."

It's not skin deep except to the Donald Trumps. The "whatever" is self-confidence, self-assuredness, self-therapy, and building a life one is secure and open enough to share.

I'm with Agnes on this one.