Saturday, October 20, 2007

Security Cameras Are Not Completely Installed


Can someone please explain this to me?

Is it to discourage or encourage crime? I don't understand.

I put a sign up on my house, "Bathroom is Not Completely Re-Modeled".

...just so you know.

I'm glad that there's a Hermes store opening up. Soon, I can place my $4.63 lunch special order at Food Sing, and, while I wait, walk down several feet and pick up a Hermes ascot.

Lovely.

True story, here we go, (like I need to make shit up) I'm at the Farmer's Market today and as I walk by, I hear, "Fresh Chickens! Beef! Fresh Chickens! You want some fresh chickens?"

She points to an ice chest.

First of all, I'm thinking, how fresh are they if they're dead and in an ice chest?

Anyway, after a couple of times of being asked, I said,

"No thanks, I'm a vegetarian."

"Oh! So am I!" she said.

"....and you're selling dead chickens, because...."

"To the people who aren't vegetarians!"

"Yet." I said.

"Yes," she said, "yet."

Anyway...

Last night, not even an HOUR in town, and one of the staff of the local bar reprimands me. How unusual.

"Hey! You've gotten a free drink before! I read your blog. I saw that!"

"True. You're right. I stand corrected. But, no sex."

"Hey -- THAT, you're on your own!"

Yes, I know I'm on MY OWN with that....


People have been calling my blog DISGUSTING this past week.

Well, thank you. I try.

Are you afraid of little ol' me and my blog??

I have a promoter out there who is obviously doing their job because the counter and hits have been through the roof this week!!!

Thanks for posting my link! Love you, babydoll!

Someone give them the six hits of ecstasy promised.


That's right....this blog is disgusting.

But, maybe I'm wrong.

I mean, I don't want to besmirch the fine reputation of this town by showing PORNOGRAPHY!!

What will people THINK of Hudson!


Do you remember last weekend, I went to Albany for the Aaron Tanner party?

Here's a link to a couple of scenes with Aaron Tanner in it!

I found it just for you, my gentle readers, courtesy of GayHudson.com

Well, what do we have so far this weekend?

A store with non-functional security cameras. Explain that to me, please.

A vegetarian selling dead chickens.

And a three-time loser, who thinks she can still run for Mayor!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

I'm not supposed to mention her anymore!!

Sorry....this is going to be rough.

I may fall off the wagon. Someone call my sponsor and have them come and get me.

Just let me get in ONE LINE........just one more line, I promise, then I'll stop. I swear.



(SNIFF!)

...oh...yeah...that feels so good!

...yeah...back to normal.....love it...spinning, spinning...

......and you just had some kind of mushroom....and your mind is moving slow....

GO ASK ALICE!

I think she'll know!


Remember what the doormouse said!!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Faux Hermes Store. Get it right.

Rose Marie said...

Jesus Mary & Joseph pray for the souls of the dying of this day Amen!

Such a pity... dying getting hit by a house is bad enough, but in those cheap Peebles synthetic pumps!

Anonymous said...

Nellie Oleson?

Or Heather Duke/McNamara/Chandler?

Anonymous said...

I'll explain the Faux H.S. security signs to you... the cameras are there to make sure the contractors actually show up. And the cameras aren't hooked up yet... and the store is two months behind schedule already. Does this make any sense?

Anonymous said...

Alice, Sam can't wait to give you his package!

aaron said...

i cannot stop this song from being in my head.

due to the fact that gayhudson is not allowing me to publish on a comment i give to you the URL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m1UWSD-FaA

Anonymous said...

OMG, HEATHERS! That is SO Hudson!