Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Big Momma reviews Mussels for Mike at the Red Dot

Hi -
Big Momma has been having computer difficulties...which is why this post is late, and why I have to post it for her. She's sitting right here next to me, so I just wanted to say how much I love her......
;)

I don't think we hear from her enough! She is Hudson.
-Trixie

Big Momma at the Mussels for Mike Event


Ah, Back in Hudson after what Big Momma's going to call a vacation on that old bag Aggie!

Ya – Ya back in June Aggie and I where hanging around down by the river after the Flag Day parade when Aggie stumbled over an old john who wanted to do it for "old time sax". A long story short Aggie asked me to hold her purse, in the mean time a heifer, I had some trouble with while I was on "vacation", walked by.

And I know, I know at my age I shouldn't be fighting. But I snatched that bitch's weave right off her head and then slapped the faux gold teeth out her mouth. NO one fucks with Big Momma, NO one! Some of you may remember the commotion; police came from all directions on foot, bike and horse back. Threw Momma on the ground and when they went thru Aggie's purse there where a few rocks of the cheap stuff that the old bag uses to get her fix. They didn't buy that it wasn't mine and I got a long relaxing trip to the slammer compliments of Aggie. Thanks, Aggie I owe ya one girl…

Well, with that all said and done, Big Momma made her way to "Mussels for Mike" on Tuesday evening. Not that I get into the whole political thing, but much to my surprise there was a FINE ass white boy sitting at the door collecting. I believe he was introduced as Chris. That boy is too fine. He made Momma wet in places she didn't think got juice any more. I had to fan my self up under my dress to regain my composure. Chris gave Momma a rubber - I thought he was making a pass, but then he handed me a rubber band which got you a free drink… I would let that fine ass mother go in without the rain coat.

Big Momma got a bottom shelf vodka and cranberry, which gave me a little buzz after being away from the sauce for so long. Momma walked around rubbing elbows with some old queens who couldn't talk about anything but themselves and how important they were. Come on, if they where so gods damn important don’t ya think Momma would have known them, after all Big Momma is Hudson!

Then they some skinny lady from behind the bar yelled that the food was out. As I turned the corner our eyes met, he was standing in the buffet line. We both had the same thought; get to the food before it is gone. Big Momma eats at least 6 dozen and some fritz and a few hot dogs to boot. Than that same loud mouth girl from behind the bar yelled out that the next Mayor of Hudson had just arrived. Well honey let Momma tell ya, one of the finest silver haired men walked into the room. Momma thought OH MY GOD, this man has got to be MAYOR!

***************************************

Well, Momma, next time, maybe next time....
-Trix

11 comments:

Agnes said...

Hon, I have been looking for my purse in every alleyway and under every shrub in town for the past six months! Thanks for refreshing my memry. Can I get it back please?

Anonymous said...

Aggie - you just come on by to get your purse and what Momma will call a little payment for the 4 months she lost at your expence...

Anonymous said...

Trixie baby - Don't you worry Big Momma is going to take care of Musseman the next time around. I have connections that will take care of "Ralph" to make sure she doesn't FUCK things up again.
Kiss, Kiss
Momma.

Rose Marie said...

"Computer difficulties."

I take it that is a euphemism for "butane torch melted the keyboard."

Anonymous said...

Hey Big Momma...

Sounds delish.

Did you finally get a piece of the pie-ie-ie?

Trixie said...

Big Momma,

We don't hear from you enough!

We have to set up your Blogger profile.

Trixie will fix you up, this weekend, Babydoll!

Anonymous said...

"Trixie will fix you up."

That could mean ANYTHING north of Warren.

Trixie said...

True.

South of Warren, it would translate into finding you a nice Republican date for the Debutante Ball.

North of Warren, it could mean ANYTHING.

Anonymous said...

"Next time" Muffy will be running for Mayor, so the event will be "Mollusks for Muffy" or something like that...

Ew. I didn't need THAT visual in my head. La la la la la la la la la la la la la...

Anonymous said...

Muffy's a vegetarian, duh...

So it would have to be something like "Mushrooms for Muffy."

Um, I don't think we needed that visual either.

Agnes said...

Quit trashin my purse Big Momma I got it out of the trash behind the Genuine Faux Hermes Shoppe!