Wednesday, December 19, 2007

HELP!
There's Something Crawling On My Face!

Heh heh heh kiddos!

Now when somebody asks me what I'm doing when I sit in my box in the park doing yoga Ill say hi my name is Agnes welcome to Hudson and this is perfomance art dont ya know.

And that will be five dollars please thank you very much!















Well theres a new girl in town and she aint working at the diner. You probably heard that the worlds most famous performance artist after Condoletza Rice is taking up in Hudson where the nice movie theater used to be in town at Diamond and Seventh. Better her I guess than a supermarket I suppose. Because if there was a supermarket in town people would give me groceries and I dont want groceries I want fives tens and twenties.

I asked Tippy to find me some pictures of performance art because admittedly thats not my area of expertease. At social services I never tried going in and saying that I was a performance artist. Ill try it and see if it works and let you know. Hears the pictures Tippy found.

















So from the looks of these them pictures perfromance art is either done naked or at the Elks Club Flag Day Parade or both. So it should fit right in in Hudson especially on Diamond Street if you follow me.


I kinda thought that last mayor election was performance art. I mean maybe that was the plan and all for that Tea S&L place to be staging performance art in the voting booth and mucking with the Hudson election. You know I was wearing my rusty "red slash SLC!" button thats "Stop Lindas Candidacy" for you newbies and well if I knew that was performance art I woulda charged five bucks for it. Well ya live and ya learn I say dont you know it.



Rose Marie has her own special brand of performance art. She used to perform her art all the time I hear in the balcony at the Community Movie Theater. In fact I think they named it the Community Theater after her. Just ask anybody on the Hudson Whalers ’53 football team. Yeah, they were the Whalers, then the Sailors, and then I guess to get the seamen connotation away from the boys they changed em to the Fighting Cobras. I dont know of any Cobras in Hudson though I seen a few less threatening trouser snakes in my day. Trust me they dont fight me! I swallow them they dont swallow me.

What were we talking about again?

11 comments:

Miss Muffy Diver said...

the autobiography of agnes

by gertrude stein

Rose Marie said...

Listen Agnes-who-didn’t-even-make-cheerleader, announcing that you’re ignorant is redundant in a town that knows that you had to repeat History and Lore of Rip Van Winkle 1A five times. Fifty years later, you can just STOP spreading those rumors. My Diamonique homecoming crown is safe in my Hudson River Bank and Trust Company safe deposit box along with my son’s baby shoes and my secret recipe for Christmas Candy -- and there’s NOTHING you can do about it.

Remind me to pick up some matches and lighter fluid for the next time I walk through Santa’s Village in Park Place.

Have a nice day!

Anonymous said...

I need some to spray their milky white expression all over my face...

Anonymous said...

Warhol's Factory Without The Drugs Comes To Hudson, New York!

Agnes said...

Milky white expression...

Rose Marie called it "Pond's Cold Creme" but we all knew better...

Anonymous said...

It's All Over Your Face!

Anonymous said...

Like Warhol's Factory without the drugs?

Dear Ms. Abramovic,
Botox isn't a drug anymore?

Agnes said...

La la la la la you vowed your love from here to eternity
a love so true it never would die
you gave your lips you gave them so willingly
how could I know your kiss meant goodbye la la?

So I really like that scene in the picture where the hooker says "Sit down and get yourself comfortable. Ill make you a martini and see whats to cook up for dinner." And her john says "Hey this is like being married aint it?" and she turns slowly and replies to him... "Its better."

North Fifth Street said...

Hey, that WOULD be cool if Marina Abramovic had a float in the flag day parade next year... that ought to shake things up... how about a float of ice blocks, with Marina lying naked on them, her body covered in satanic scrawl, a switchblade lying on her stomach? Philip Glass could do the amplified score. Can you imagine the faces of the cornfused Columbia County locals?

Anonymous said...

Botox. That's ONE drug Hudson needs...

Rose Marie said...

Something crawling on your face, honey? Try RID. I know you've used it before...