Monday, December 10, 2007

Hudson Fitness Center Sign


A faithful reader sent me this photo of a sign at the Hudson Fitness Center....which I think is in Hudson, but barely....

We all know that gay boys are hard up in this town, but we DO have STANDARDS!!

We don't want to look at your nasty, fat ass or your shrivelled-up dick.

Thank God SOMEONE is telling all these ugly guys to cover up!

Who wants to see a four-inch dick? It's enough to send any screaming queen over the fence.

Should we go back to the Hallie Berry vs. Dick Cheney question?

Just because we're gay doesn't mean we'll do just anyone! Why, you can't even get a second glance in the Pines if you're not on your third cycle of steroids.

Why do you think glory holes were invented? (Now, was that Eli Whitney? Or did he invent something else?)

The sign should read,

"We are a gym, but we're ashamed of the human body. Cover thyselves for thou are naked and thou shall have shame! Nowhere can nakedness prevail, not even after a shower in a single-sex locker room!"

WTF?

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

There are some up tight straight boys that us that gym and I think all they need is a blow job with a little prostate message to loosen them up and show them that man on man sex is where it's at....

Anonymous said...

The sign doesn't say where the towel goes, what it covers, how it's styled or accessorized...

I think the "towel" goes around the head, horny punjabi style, to balnce the erect penis.

Anonymous said...

Why don't they just make a rule that people have to wear underwear while they shower?

Anonymous said...

Which locker room does Trixie use at the Hudson Fitness Center?

Trixie said...

The TRANNIE locker room. It's TUCKED between the men's and women's room!

Anonymous said...

It's good to know there's a trannie locker room. Hudson needs to keep our kayaking trannie hookers in peak form.

Trixie said...

Don't forget the National Kayaking Trannie Hooker competition this spring in Catskill!

We want to make Hudson proud!

Gooooooo Trannies!!!

North Fifth Street said...

Do they have an identical sign in the women’s locker room? I want to know. Maybe Muffy can strip down and go undercover.

Miss Muffy Diver said...

no.

too many ex-girlfriends

Anonymous said...

Yeah! It’s the Hudson Kayaking Trannie Hookers vs. The Catskill Ferrys!

North Fifth Street said...

Common courtesy at MY gym involves staying naked (especially when in the steam room) or jockstrapped as long as possible, and then finding an excuse to walk down every aisle in the locker room making pointed eye contact while wagging it all over the place...

Trixie said...

Wait!

That sounds like my date from last weekend!

Trixie said...

It's the:

Trannie Hudson Hookers
Catskill Ferries
Stockport Sluts

...and the favorites:
Greenport GILF's
(Grannie's I'd Like to Fuck...)

Rose Marie said...

Listen, MS. TRIXIE, the crowd at Bob's Restaurant on Fairview does NOT like the sound of "Greenport GILF's."

We know where you live. We're watching you.

Have a nice day!

PS: Besides, I'M NOT EVEN A GRANDMOTHER YET!!!

North Fifth Street said...

I heard that the Stuyvesant Fish are putting together a kayaking team as well...

Anonymous said...

Dude, it's not a real competition if you leave out the Kinderhook Kayak Krushers got it?

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Honoria Livingston McVitty asked me if I would write to you and ask if you would be so kind as to include the Clermont Steamers in your delightful little Spring river boating competition.

As you might guess, our team's color is lilac.

Anonymous said...

Have I been told of an upstate river competition?

I must insist that you include the Germantown M├Ądchen Kriegsmarine.

We shall be manning (so to speak) two teams, the Tirpitz and the Bismarck.

Anonymous said...

Does the Hudson Fitness Center provide cumrags, I mean towels, or is it “bring your own”? And just how big are these stained shreds of terrycloth? I ask as I think that I’ve seen Orson Welles (or the Greenport equivalent) park outside.

Anonymous said...

Am I the first to connect the “Hudson Fitness Center” post with the “Troll” post?

Anonymous said...

I'm still trying to figure out what "MGT" means on the sign. Closest I can guess is "Modern Gentleman Transexuals."

Who knows?

Anonymous said...

Thank You - MIGHTY GROSS TOWELS

Miss Muffy Diver said...

might get typhoid

Miss Muffy Diver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Management Takes Testosterone

Anonymous said...

"Locker Room Etiquette"

LOL - what is this, the freaking Colony Club of Hudson or something? Well thank you Miss Priss of Union Street for the following...

"The younger person is always presented to the older or more accomplished person. The correct formal introduction is: 'Mrs. Distinguished, may I have the honor to present Miss Celebutante, of Claverack?' When the introduction takes place in the aura of the health club locker room, an unmonogrammed white towel should be worn covering the buttocks, vaginal area, and breastesses from view of those unfortunates not possessing self-control over their optical motions. A colored or patterned towel is never worn except in the southern hemispheres."

North Fifth Street said...

Well if Muffy can't check the women's locker room to see if they have a "towel" sign, maybe Agnes or Rose Marie could.

Agnes said...

Oh yes I love anny excuse to strip down to my thong.

Anonymous said...

Oh my word.

As much as we try to legislate uncontrolled mirth out of existence there are always those who resist.

Some people just never change.

aaron said...

holy sh!t there is a lot of comments.

Anonymous said...

holy sh!t batman get that huge thing away from my ass...

Trixie said...

yeah, it's alot of comments.

Anonymous said...

holy sh!t batman I'm not gonna suck it either get it away from me