Saturday, December 8, 2007

Truxie and Trixie go to Lowe's

I'm the redhead.

My new gal pal, Truxie, and I took a ride to Lowe's today.

Her name is "Truxie" because she lives on the truck route in Hudson....and is very kind to the truckers that stop by.

I pick up Truxie, and she's carrying a Gucci tote with her.

She hops in and says, "Yes, it's Gucci. Well, I'm not bringing the Balenciaga to Lowe's!!"

Of course not.


We debated when is the appropriate time to give blow jobs in the Lowe's bathroom.

Is it 8am, right before the contractors start working?

Or, is it during the middle of the day, in the afternoon, when the hot dads steal a moment away from the wife and three screaming kids?

Or, both times?

Truxie was impressed that I brought my own gloves to Lowe's, to move the bricks.


After ruining so many manicures, you learn.

The hunky male attendant was VERY pleasant and helped move the bricks into the car, it seemed, much to the chagrin of the gal behind the counter. She got a little pissed off. Was it because Truxie and I were getting extra attention from Mr. Man?

Maybe.

As we left, Truxie turned to me and said,

"Did you see her throwing daggers at us? Someone should remind her, life is too short to wear ugly shoes."


9 comments:

aaron said...

are truxie and trixie like lavern and shirley?

Anonymous said...

Schlemiel! Schlamazel!

Anonymous said...

Or are they like Romy and Michele?

Anonymous said...

I'm picturing Miranda looking for nightlights and no-wax floor tiles, while Miranda chooses the hottest salesboys and asks, "It that your longest drapery rod" and "I want your best nailgun" while standing outside the restrooms...

Anonymous said...

oops... I think thats SAMANTHA looking for rods and nailguns...

Anonymous said...

LISA FONSSAGRIVES wearing BALENCIAGA shot by PENN

What do I win???

Anonymous said...

A baseball cap? A lightbulb? A Kennedy Fried Chicken Gift Certificate?

WELL???

Anonymous said...

A date with the salesboy who works Saturday afternoons in the paint department at Lowe's?

Anonymous said...

OK I'll settle for ten minutes with the paint boy in the men's room...