'nuff said

This post was sent to me by my brother.

It's great that my family members read my blog.....really, it's so great....

Mayoral Election - Are You Registered?

First of all, get registered to vote in Hudson.

All you weekenders - DO IT! If you need a form, TELL ME!!! Email me, I will drop one off at your house this weekend - I'm serious.

Rich@GayHudson.com

Email me. I will drop off a form. Totally. It's worth it.

There's a little less than 7,000 people in Hudson, with around 2,800 registered voters.

The last election was won by about 25 votes (so I'm told by the unsubstantiated factchecker).

An alderperson race is won by a vote or two. It's so close. Your vote IS a big deal.

When is the town going to address our issues?

1) The lack of a gay bar.
2) Too many strollers on Warren Street.
3) That vinyl fence on Union.

UGH! I cannot figure out what's worse...

Anyway, get your ass registered.

If I see you, it's going to be my first question...be prepared!

A good ol' Hudson Book-burning!

Tuesday, September 4th
Red Dot
7 pm Dinner $15 - free movie at 8pm

When you're undecided about what to do in Hudson on a Tuesday night...

Ask for the Veggie Burger with fries - it's DE-lish!

...and it tastes like the vegetable curry...

...another reason why I'm single....

Every now and then, I read a personal ad, and I think,

"Being single, it ain't that bad..."

It's me and the dog, a yoga mat, coffee maker, two kayaks, my laptop, and a high-speed Internet connection. It's all I need - and pretty much all I have in my Hudson home. (Oh yes, the Lucille Ball mohair couch and chair from the Salvation Army, let's not forget...)

Remember the last personal ad deconstruction I did, the guy who's boyfriend handed him the keys one day and was like, "You're a big loser, bye..."? That was a REAL ad. Seriously.

This is ANOTHER real personal ad that came into my mailbox today, some gay guy.

First, read it. Then, we'll talk.

***********************************************************************

I am the one standing on the edge of the world..
Lost within reality and the fight of my struggle..
In a city where the lost souls are not being appreciated..
On the shallow surface torn between the love and hate..
Sitting alone in the dark with a broken smile..
Don't want to be seen nor to be heard by the world..
Am I fed up with the eyes of the people?
Or have I lost faith toward my own survival?
Never have I stopped in search for the fallen angel under the moon-night scene..
Only with you, as I believe I would truly feel belong as the ultimate scene..
Never have I given up in search for the fallen angel in my countless dreams..
Only with you, as have I always kept faith in myself and believe you truly exist..
Yesterday have I not told myself better luck tomorrow?
Today, I am still a lover with no one to love and bits of sorrow..
Day by day without a sign, hopeless does it not seem?
This is the price of having your own mind and being so unique..
There has not been a day that I do not feel left out by the world..
Or a moment without searching for a place where I feel belong..
Silence, darkness and faithless has taken me and drown me within..
Death, pain and loneliness are the infinite battles that I'll never win..
There is just no place for an absent mind and a missing soul..
All the society has given is that true beauty does not exist anymore.
Year by year have I never doubted myself believe in your existence..
Yet, it is my faith in you which kept me alive and the drive..
Never have I given up in search for the fallen angel..
Only with you, as I would truly feel belong for eternal..
Never have I given up in search for another lost soul..
Only with you, as I would truly feel appreciated in a new fall..
Because all I ever wanted.. Is Love.
A fallen Angel could be somewhere, here or there....who knows

*****************************************************************

Babydoll, do us all a favor, and just kill yourself.

And now we'll know where to put the body.

Granted, no one is perfect, myself included,....but C'MON, PEOPLE!

Do you see why I say, "Happy Happy, Up Up!"? Some people need it. Desperately.

I don't know...maybe it's some poem by some famous author, what the fuck do I know? But, still, it's not the place for a personal ad!

Do you really want to date some mid-thirties gay man who broods like a goth teenager?

Can someone give him some drugs? Like some uppers?

You know I'm not a proponent of drugs, but in some cases, call in the drug dealer, have him pull up in the El Camino, and hell, I'll even pay for it.

Dolls! Dolls! Dolls!

Dolls to bring you up! Dolls to bring you down!

Lesbians in Hudson

Aaron, the frequent GayHudson.com commenter told me this weekend....

"PLUEEZ. GayHudson.com? That site is SO six months ago! I've already moved on to LesbianClaverack.org!"

Of course, if lesbians build a site, it's a .org - everything they do is not-for-profit!

yeah, yeah, yeah....I guess I never do talk about the lesbians of Hudson, do I?

Well...ok, TRUE story here, folks.

One day, I'm walking towards Warren Street, in my capri pants, and these two middle aged, Christopher St. queens come up to me, point towards State Street and say,

"Is this the GAY part of town?"

I made them repeat it twice, because I couldn't really believe they were asking me that question.

I said, "State Street? No. State Street is the LESBIAN part of town. You want Allen Street, around 2nd or 3rd. That's much gayer."

Is there even a gay part of Hudson?

If we had a lot map of Hudson, and painted pink the gay-owned properties, where would the pinkest part be? Where's the center of the rosebud?

There are a few gay sentinel posts on the outskirts of town - around Glenwood Bloulevard and Worth Streets. Their purpose is to warn the Hudson gay populace of the marauding barbarian hordes that attack from Greenport.

The sentinels play the battle cry warning (Cher's "Gypsys, Tramps, and Thieves"). When you hear that, we all run, screaming and flailing, into the Armory - we'll be surrounded by antiques - safe. Then the trained lesbian warriors will protect us.


When I was interviewed for the New York Times about Hudson last year - and this part is TRUE - they asked me about the town and it's gay population.

I said, "Well, like any town, that's going through a gay transformation, we send the lesbians into the bad neighborhoods first. They do the structural work; the foundations, support beams, sewers....THEN the gay men move in to do the interiors and exteriors, that's how it works....."

I don't know why they didn't use that part of the interview....

My weekend in Hudson....

Oh, what to write about today?

Do I give you my gentle musings on life as a single gay guy in a small upstate town?

Do I write about my angst and bitterness of being a single gay guy in a small upstate town?

Or, do I just talk about killing people in Hudson and the various ways of disposing the bodies?

Such decisions I make on an almost daily basis....but today, I can actually write about something GAY in HUDSON, like the website name. Go figure.

I think that the current Carrie Haddad Gallery exhibit, should get the attention of every gay man in town. Actually, why not everyone in town? I'm sure that even a straight man can appreciate the sublime forms of the male body, right? Wouldn't a straight man want to have a large oil canvas of two gorgeous men, in their underwear, arm wrestling?

Anyway, I think I can say that the exhibit is gay-related...or gay-themed.

The price tag for a painting is $6,200, which makes it even more gay.

Rush over to the Carrie Hadded Gallery before Sept. 16, or go to CarrieHaddadGallery.com, but don't tell them I sent you. They probably don't want to be associated with this smutty blog.

I went to the Mike for Mayor talk in the Basilica on Saturday.

I think that the Basilica is the perfect place for Hudson to start a gay circuit party. The boys from Manhattan walk right off the train. No neighbors/noise complaints. The space itself is fabulous. It would bring in a ton of revenue for the city, gay boys have money.

But, of course, a circuit party for Hudson is NOT one of the planning commission's new proposals.

I don't know why.

I was in the middle of the Mike for Mayor meeting when someone suggested that they should build low income/affordable housing SOUTH of Warren Street - on Allen or Union Streets!


There were audible gasps. Pearls were clutched.

A few South of Warren queens fainted.

Luckily, for those fainting divans...

More on the election to come! Hold onto your seats, here we go!

I am well-aware that my endorsement of any candidate will only work AGAINST that candidate. As Trixie Starr, Hudson's Investigative Reporter, I plan on compiling as much data as possible on the candidates and then give you my viewpoint through interpretive dance.

So far, I think it's only Mike and Linda running for Mayor.

Yes....interpretive dance...that's the way. Envision it.

Hey, are you registered to vote in Hudson? If not, you better be! Get registered. The Mike for Mayor campaign on Warren Street is open and they have voter registration forms.

Or, go to Congresswoman Gillibrand's office. They're open during the week.

GET REGISTERED! DO IT!

Craigslist Ad du Jour

www.shirtypeople.com/shirtpages/thatguy.html

Ya gotta love it....

Craigslist ads are raw. Raw sexuality. Raw emotion. Raw horniess. It is America. It's where we are, sexually, as a culture; gay, straight, whatever. The 'whatever' is the amazing part. Straight guys who want a dildo up their ass. Gals willing to strap it on. It's trannies, "massages", money, commerce, drugs, sex.

....the wife is away, play with me and my boyfriend, only available until 10, looking for now.....

CL is full of people looking to fulfill their desires. Now!

In life, in general, most people are actually afraid to say what they want. They are afraid to offend, even their lifelong partners. I mean, what is life other than an exploration into ourselves? Isn't a partner the person to help you explore your sexual side also?

On Craigslist, you say exactly what you want.

It's a Kinsey study.

It's good reality porn and sociology at the same time.

And for the record, I am not devaluing it. I think Craigslist is fabulous! I am saying, "this is where we're at. It is what it is." No value judgements. Most people, just because it has to do with sex, drugs, and/or rock and roll will devalue it, either consciously or not.

Once you strip away the onion layers of our personalities, pretensions, the facades of who we think we should be (the "What do you DO?" question at dinner parties.), Craigslist is actually who we really are and what we really want, at least sexually. Maybe not all of us, but many, it is a cross section....

[Aside: Whenever someone asks me, "What do I DO?", I make them further explain. Why should the assumption be 'what do I do to earn money?'. Maybe it's - What do I do to be happy? What do I do in bed? What do I do to annoy people? Many people define themselves by their profession, I don't. By the way, the answer to that last question, what do I do to annoy people? This blog!]

Anyway, back to CL.

So, here's a fav I just found.

************************************************************
YOU ARE A MIDDLE-AGED DOUCHE BAG ... - 25
You're the all-American dad, walking around campus with your family in tow, taking your spoiled brat to college orientation. But I saw you checking me out a few times right in front of your family. Polo shirt, shorts, sandals, nice tan. Yeah, you. I know you are a douche bag and you want one of your kid's friends to breed your ass.

25, 5'8, 165, DDF here you be too.
***********************************************************

"breed your ass". That's sweet, isn't it? Feel the love.

And "douche bag". Very 80's Long Island.

"Don't be a douche bag! Meet me at 'Spencer Gifts' later! Eck"

Love it.

And for our heterosexual readers....I mean, readER....here's something for you. Ya gotta love it, folks.

***************************************************************
YES, I'M A TROLL! AND YES, YOU'LL F--K ME! WANNA KNOW WHY?

Yes, you heard me right. Unlike all these other gods-gift-to-women posting here, I'm not gonna tell you how friggin' awesome I look.

Cuz I don't. In fact, I'm kind of a troll.

I'm all of five foot five inches, (Man, I hate f--kin' parades)

And that head of hair you girl love? I got it. I comb the few stringy stands I've got left over my mostly bald head. Nice!

And although I shower twice a day, and use some fancy-ass cologne some part-time hooker turned cosmetics tester sold me on the first floor of Bloomie, I gotta admit, I don't smell so good either.

Overall impression? Think Danny De Vito in a very, very expensive suit.

So physically not so impressive.. And come to think of it, my personality's not so hot either. I'm kinda loud, kinda want what I want. (Waiters like me tho, cuz I tip big)

So that's me. All in all, not a pretty picture.

You on the other hand? You are are friggin' gorgeous!

Your hair is like spun silk, your skin is flawless. You manage the incredible trick of being incredibly busty while having the tiniest, nipped in waist. You've got legs that go on for days. You're witty and smart and a brilliant conversationalist. . .well that last sentence is optional,
Can't say I care much about that.

And despite the fact that you're the beauty and I'm the beast, you will go to bed with me. And you will do pretty much whatever I want.

Why?

Well, for starters, I've got a great job (investment banking, what a surprise) and make a lot of money.

I also have a nearby apartment I'm not using. And a bunch of cash and a couple of credit cards
I'm not using either.

And I'd be happy to give you the apartment and cash and credit cards I'm not using.

By now, you've probably figured this generous offer isn't simply so you can have the privilege of living in my place, spending my money and watching my credit card balances grow. No, I would expect that in exchange for these privileges you will gladly, willingly and enthusiastically fulfill my deepest desires, especially of a sexual nature.

Let's call it an arrangement.

In order to qualify for this arrangement, I'll need to see several clear photos of you, both face and body.And please don't give me any excuses about the craigs list size limit. If you don't have the brains to figure out how to reduce the size of your photo, you're disqualified. If I'm interested, I'll get back to you, if I'm not, I won't.

Okay, I think I said it all. See you soon
***********************************************************

Hudson, where do you hide the "body"?

The date that won't shut up.

The trick that steals your ipod.

The guy you met and started making out with in a bar, and then, out of the blue, he says "Please don't tell my boyfriend..."

You want to kill them.

Some funny mushrooms....oops, they're poisonous? I didn't know! heehee

A boating "accident".

Or, the simple standby, a 'shiv in the shower'.

We've all been there. But, the problem is, what do you do with the body?

Forensic science these days is SO good.

This week on GayHudson.com, Trixie explores our morbid curiosity.

Where can you hide a dead body in Hudson? Maybe the question should be, where can you NOT put a dead body in this town?

Prop it up on a stool at one of the local bars, it could stay there for days...

Well, I have a few ideas...

This is not Hudson....but it could totally be Hudson....
Note the graffiti "Dead Body Inside - HELP!"

THE COUNTRY SQUIRE WINS!!!

Polling has closed! All wards are counted, and the winner for the GAYEST thing in Hudson is...

THE COUNTRY SQUIRE B&B !!

....and the fact that there's a Country Squire station wagon in the driveway.

It's so gay. It's actually now the GAYEST thing in Hudson (besides this blog, of course).

Trixie at GayHudson.com contacted "Marlo", the proprietor of the Country Squire, to tell her that she won....

Marlo's response:

"Thank you for including me!

There are just too many homo things about the Country Squire station wagon, really...

• Hide-away headlamps with chrome LTD applique's on the cover panels (Can you say DRAMA!)
• Erect stand-up hood ornament (enough said)
• Fender mounted carriage lamps (Straights would just call 'em turn signals)
• Simulated wood paneling (because gays hate real paneling so much fake stuff is acceptable)
• Saddle "pleather" interior (slide across it bare-assed with a HOME DEPOT trick...HOT!)
• It's just plain big and long (size queens line-up here)
• A tailgate that swings both ways (like the Home Depot trick)
• Rooftop cargo rack (because where gays go..cargo follows)
• Trailer hitch ( I don't know why but it just registers as sexy..ask a leather guy)

I'm going to fill 'er up with $65 of Premium and head for the open road..and all roads seem to lead to the Home Depot parking lot.

ta ta.
Marlo
-OO-

P.S. In the 1974 TV-Movie "Death Sentence" , Cloris Leachman is a juror on a murder trial and slowly begins to suspect the defendant is innocent..and her own husband is the killer. One of the clues....undocumented mileage on her COUNTRY SQUIRE Station Wagon..the exact distance from her house to the victims! (In one scene Cloris takes out the curb trying to turn the thing into her driveway..great '70's camp)

Toodles"

What are you doing this weekend, Gay Hudson?

Hello Hudson boys,

OK, get out your schedule. What are you doing this weekend?

First of all, there's the Mike for Mayor Party at the Basilica, 100 S Front Street from 3-6 this Saturday, the 25th. You can meet the candidate, there's food/drinks, music. Is anyone going?

Ok, let me re-phrase that...

Is anyone GAY going?

(I know, that comment is much to the chagrin of my hetero readers...or readER....well, the site is called GayHudson...)

I'm trying to get people to go and talk to candidate Mike, and have him address OUR issues!

Like:

The lack of single gay men.
Alcoholism/drug addiction
Fat tourists in horizontal stripes. They should be banned!

What are some of our other issues? Please comment!

And then there's this boat cruise on Saturday night.

http://www.amankaraoke.com/biggaycruise.html

I've heard that Troy boys are easy. They're even more desperate than Albany boys.

(I really have no idea why people still live in these towns.....someone tried explaining it to me, I still don't get it.)

So, I'm thinking about it. I'm still such a Manhattanite, I still don't have a driver's license, so I need to bum a ride, if anyone's going.

Gas, grass, or ass...

yeah, we'll talk...

I don't know.....they're just ideas. I can only kayak for so many hours.

And working on my house? ...ugh...boring.

Email me. Make it happen...

Rich@BigGayApple.com

my Rich@GayHudson.com email address was not forwarding....sorry...please email again to:Rich@BigGayApple.com

What kind of WHORE are you?

Are you a South of Warren WHORE, like, Catherine Deneuve in "Belle du Jour"?

Classy, sophisticated, refined? Angst-ridden?








Or, are you a North or Warren WHORE, like Jane Fonda in "Klute"? Smart, sassy, fashionable? Angt-ridden?

Part Time Hudson ASS-essor position open

Oh, it's not good that I'm bored....and on the www.cityofhudson.org website.

Did you know that the city is still looking for an ASS-essor?

What would your duties be?

This ass? Too flat.

That ass? Too salty.

This ass? mmmm...just right!

Baldy...

People ask me if I like Hudson. I tell them I LOVE Hudson!!!

And I'm not even being sarcastic.....for once.

Across the street from my place in Manhattan, I can buy, 24 hours/day, six different flavors/types of soy milk (vanilla, plain, unsweetened, chocolate, enhanced, and soy 'creamer'), yet you can't find one container of skim milk in Hudson.

Or 2% milk, or a working fax machine/copier, or a plunger.

Forget a gay bar. Forget sex. Just give up on all that. Let it go.

But, what you CAN find in Hudson - are the bald eagles on the river. My friend snapped the photo above of a bald eagle in flight this weekend, while we were on the river, in Miss Trixie's kayaks. It was AMAZING!!

You know it's a eagle when you see it. Their wing span is enormous. You see their white tail and head. They're majestic. The eagles glide in the air.

(Just like the song, "Soar like an eagle....". Go figure.)

And for a brief moment, when you see an eagle, or when you're just out on the water, and it's calm and peaceful, you realize that life is great.

This is it, folks -- this is as good as life gets!! Anything more is just extra.

(Yes, you could have a million dollars, and/or a blow job on the water while you see the eagles, but ya know, let's not get greedy....)

Call it what you will, but here's to this little town of Hudson!

It has to be a special place...the eagles made a nest here.

Sunset over the Hudson River, from the water, Sunday, August 19, 2007.

Photos courtesy of my friend,

"Ms. South of Warren Belle du Jour".

My Favorite Hudson Manhole.....

You probably think that Agnes is the cat's meow.....

Well, sometimes, she's great, and supplies GayHudson.com with the latest in Hudson news, politics, and history.

But, sometimes she's just an annoying old, dried-up whore. How she survives on the cigarettes and scratch off lottery tickets we give her as salary is anyone's guess.

Oh yeah...there's the dvd distribution income from the "Grandma's a Whore!" series. I forgot.

Download a clip or two here. It's either Agnes or one of her mahjong partners.

I think that they "shot" one video on the island between Hudson and Athens.

The guys are actually really hot.

Agnes gets it on

Agnes gets more

Here she is with the Latino gardeners

She's such an old whore.

Agnes is ALWAYS complaining!! "Why aren't there more photos of Hudson?!"

I usually say, "Shut the fuck up, bitch." Then, I slap her.

This time, she was more annoying. So, I pulled out a photo of my favorite Hudson manhole....cover, that is.

Enjoy.

Porn Review: GuysGetFucked.com

Click HERE to watch the video


by John Russell

It warms the cockles of my little heart to see straight boys getting all anally erotic. It seems like, out of nowhere, the early 21st century has spawned a breed of heterosexual male that just loves getting his ass licked, fingered, and even fucked – by chicks of course! Whatever is responsible for this trend (shifting gender roles, increased acceptance of homosexuality, the Queer Eye guys?), it’s even impacting porn.

GuysGetFucked.com is a straight site. Really! It may sound like a gay porn site, but there is no guy-on-guy action here. These dudes are straight and the people fucking them all have breasts, vaginas, and big, thick strap-ons. But don’t worry, gyno-phobes: the focus is definitely on the guys.

Watch the video clip HERE

Specifically, their asses. The camera lingers almost exclusively on their taut little tushies, their pink, puckered holes. The site is so preoccupied with the ass, it almost ignores the guys’ cocks. A few clips feature blowjobs and handjobs, but for the most part it’s all rear entry. And forget about seeing much pussy. In many of the site’s videos the ladies don’t even take off their tops, while the gentlemen are obliged to completely disrobe.

And gentlemen they are, subjecting themselves to the whims of their dominant female partners. In fact, there is a lot of unacknowledged domination and submission on GuysGetFucked.com. The guys end up on their knees, sometimes crawling, naked and vulnerable, while the women are cast as authority figures.

It’s all about the humiliation, with guys getting spanked by their girlfriends, disciplined by teachers, and strip-searched by sexy cops. But, as any gay boy will tell you, getting butt-fucked doesn’t have to be a humiliating, submissive act, even for a straight boy. Scattered in with the DS-tinged videos are some in which the guys are much more enthusiastic bottoms. A few are set in a massage parlor, where a busty masseuse uses vibrators and anal beads to loosen up her stressed out clients.

Several of the videos on GuysGetFucked.com come from Italy. It’s amazing how much better the acting seems when you have no idea what the porn actors are saying. In one clip, a guy walks in on two girls hanging out in a bedroom, and one of them ends up fucking him. I’m still a little foggy on the setup, but this is one of my favorite videos on the site, with a super cute Euro-trash boy moaning as he takes it from behind.

Watch the video clip HERE

Each video is divided into four easily downloadable clips, and includes a still photo gallery. There’s even a preview gallery of thumbnail pics from future GuysGetFucked.com updates and a calendar showing each month’s scheduled updates.

Mark your calendar, invite over that straight friend who’s been asking you all those questions about anal sex, and see what happens…

Agnes tells you where to go...

With all of the talk of "North of Warren" (NoWa or NOW) and "South of Warren" (SoWa or SOW), we asked "Agnes", our living-on-the-streets reporter and old Hudson whore, what ARE all the neighborhoods in Hudson?

Here's her response:

Enough with yer "SoWa" "NoWa" talk! It brings up these memories you see. My therapist at CoArc... or is it Savoia... says I need to expunge these things.

You see there was this one Diamond Street madam, Miss Speedy we called her, who wanted us to do four incalls or three outcalls an hour! Can you imagine? Thank Saint Christopher that Hudson is a small town and we could just hop on our bike and get around do our business and get home. Anyways, we had to devise a kinda verbal shorthand around Hudson to keep us girls moving.

We made up our metaphorical hieroglyphics to use when we were on the run -- you know, like when we got "emergency" calls and had to scoot quick. Most of the ones we used wouldn't make any sense to you because Hudson has changed so much... so much is gone... Diamond Street, the General Worth Hotel, the Chick Shack, the Tainted Lady, the Crystal Room, M&T Beanery... and the old customers have all moved to Florida or the Oak Park Cemetery.

With my friends the SluAbTan (the Sluts Above Tanzi's) we sat down and composed some new ones you can use. For free -- you don't have to buy me a drink or anything. It reminds me of the old days here to talk like this. Can I bum a cigarette? Menthol's OK.

Aggie


SpoRo = Spook Rock
WeHo = West of the Hospital
NoPro = North of the Promenade
WeWilPla = West of Willard Place
RosCo = Corner of Rossman
CoRoSec = Corner of Rope and Second
UpFiHo = Upstairs at the Fire House
LoWaDeCo = Lower Warren Dealer's Corner
CoDuDo = Corner by Dunkin Donuts
WeFro = West of Front Street
NoStoRog = No Stock Rogerson's
NoWarIn = North of the Warren Inn
WeStaStroBlo = West State Street Stroller Block
MeDeAl = Meat Department at Aldi
TaSiFoSi =Table Six Food Sing
StaDiWi = Staying at the Inn at Hudson
StaDreRo = Stageworks Dressing Room
AcLeGa = Across from Le Gamin
AlEgReMa = Allen Street Egyptian Revival Mansion
ShaBli = Shadow of Bliss Towers
ArVi = Around Vico
WayNoChe = Way North Chelsea
StaGaMeRo = Stair Galleries Men's Room
NoLiTa = North of the Library Tar
TeeEssEll = Kaufmans Bakery
BeGo = Behind Goodwill
AbFaStock = Above Face Stockholm
ToMuCu = Top of the Muddy Cup
DiBaDo = Diner Back Door
InCaMe = Inn at Ca' Mea
AcFroArm = Across from the Armory
LooCreeSwiPo = Loomis Creek Swimming Pool
WaPaLo = WalMart Parking Lot
ReDoBa = Red Dot Bathroom
AmHi = Amtrak Heights
MiPriUnCri = Miss Priss' Union Street Crib
SoWaLaOx = South of Warren Ladies Auxiliary Underground Hideout
HoHo = Heart of Hudson, Fourth and Warren

My First Year in Hudson, Before and After

One year in Hudson...before and after...

Anyone who has seen my little North-of-Warren house knows that the house is now in WORSE condition than when I bought it a year ago.

One person came in and said, "Oh, so THIS is after one full year, huh?"

I figure, it's been standing for 200 years, it ain't going anywhere anytime soon....

"Miss Trixie's Whorehouse, Beauty Salon, and Kayak Rental" doesn't run itself, you know...I got shit to do...

Business is booming! I'm thinking of opening up a franchise in Catskill, catering to the needs of THAT community. In Catskill, it'll be "Miss Trixie's Kayak Rental and Methadone Clinic."

...and you think you're bored in HUDSON!

Who says I'm not out there servicing the community? I'm all about outreach.

And this week, the GayHudson.com counter went over 10,000!!!

Someone spank the fact checker!

Thank you, Hudson....it's been fabulous!! More to come!

What's the GAYEST thing in Hudson?

This is true...

I was talking to a friend on Warren Street this weekend, and I said,

"Well, if this town really wanted to get its act together, all the realtors would take out a full page ad in 'HX' and then there would be an article on Hudson. A quaint Victorian town just two hours outside of Chelsea? HELLO! It's over! We all make money!"

He agreed, but added,

"Miss Trixie, other than your fabulous blog, there's nothing really specifically GAY about Hudson."

....hmmmm.....

There is no "gay" bar. I'm not really sure about a "gay" night anywhere, anymore? A "gay" restaurant? A tea room?

I tell people that Hudson is "gay-ish".

So, in this week's GayHudson.com poll, I ask, what is the "GAYEST" thing/place in Hudson?

I left this blog out of it.

Oh little town of Hudson, if we were going to run an ad in 'HX', what would we promote today?

Agnes update: Agnes reminds us that 'HX' used to have the Hudson River Theater in the "Homo Must" column.

Hudson Hugs - BEWARE!!

This is TRUE!! I couldn't even make it up....

Agnes found this article on-line while watching herself in her latest grannie porn video:

HUDSON-A former Hudson clergyman has been charged with unlawfully fondling another member of the clergy.

CLICK HERE FOR STORY

Good LORD, Hudson!

And you thought this blog was racy!

I mean, hey...did I complain all those years when the priest hugged me and squeezed my pre-pubescent ass?

hmmm....lawsuit....

Speaking of lawsuits, "Miss Trixie's Whorehouse, Beauty Salon, and Kayak Rental" was in full swing this past weekend in Hudson.

Here at Miss Trixie's, we are always on the look-out for someone who needs a kayak, a hot oil treatment, or a blow job....or all three.

Since insurance on kayak rentals would make the business impractical, I've decided to use the barter system for "renting" out kayaks to friends.

Two new Trixie Adventurers came by Saturday, and took a watery jaunt around the island.

They bought Miss Trixie drinks and dinner on Saturday night. You can play with my "kayaks" anytime for some free drinks.

Hey, I've done more for less....

We went to Vico, which was my first time ever (yeah, I know, I say that a lot..). We sat in the back garden, and had a blissful view of Hudson's public housing complex.

Fabulous.

The atmosphere was great, the food was fine, although it did take a long time to prepare....

Luckily, I always carry around some saltines in my purse, in case I get hungry!

That was my Hudson weekend....yeah....the water's fine. C'mon in....before it gets cold.

Smell ya later

It's about fucking time they made a candle for the gay market!!


Keep your patchouli, ladies, I want a candle that smells like the crack of a man's ass, right after a good, long workout!

YUM!

Can we get other flavors, too? I think that the town of Hudson should come out with it's own line of man-scented candles.

"Bliss Ball Smoke" - a dark and luscious aroma.

"Allen's Armpit" - Tasty, delicate, delicious, very South of Warren.

"Rope Alley Smegma"- Harsh, course, crass, with a slight cheesy aroma and aftertaste.

[OK, a little aside here, even though this blogging software has a spellcheck, I did not believe that I spelled 'Smegma' correctly....I mean, c'mon, how often do you TYPE it? So, I looked it up on dictionary.com, and sure enough, I was right...but I thought that I'd share the definition with you.]

Smeg-ma: - noun. [smeg-muh] a thick, cheeselike, sebaceous secretion that collects beneath the foreskin or around the clitoris.

Lovely.

You see, this is how this blog works:

Someone sends me something tasteless and disgusting. Then I tie it into this quaint little Victorian town, called Hudson.

Ta-dah! A blog post.

When I can't think of anything, I fall back on grannie/midget/trannie/fat people porn.

Done.

*********************************************************

(Thanks to commenter extraordinaire, Aaron, for the photo! It's great that people find these pictures and then think of me! I love it!)

Jose from the Bronx

Also shot and edited by Diego,

"Jose from the Bronx"

Click here for the video clip

I talk to Dead People...in the school playground.

Why is the Hudson elementary school named after that guy who talks to dead people?

John Edward. I don't understand.

The best thing about John Edward's show is that HE's from Long Island, and so are the guests and audience members.

"It's my motha, she's dead......I can see her by the mawl, wawlking the dawg."

It's Amy Fisher/Joey Buttafuco Long Island.



This is on youtube. Why, I don't know.

It looks like the videographer is some teenage kid, like the one from 'American Beauty' who videotaped the plastic bag swiling in the wind. Why else would you videotape a shadow of the American flag in a school yard.

He tried to video tape outside the elementary school, and the principal didn't like it.

DUH.

What was the point of this video?

Please...kiddie porn is SO three years ago. GILF porn is now. (Grannies I'd Like to Fuck).

(CLICK HERE FOR GILF PORN....hey, is that Agnes?)

GILF PORN

(I just watched a scene from "Hey, Grandma is a Whore! Number 8" TRUE! There were at least EIGHT of them in the series! I LOVE that there's a statement that reads 'All models over 18'. Oh yeah, because we had some doubt...)

Anyway, where was I?

Amy Fisher, talking to dead people, grannie porn.....

Oh yes!

Here's that Hudson, New York elementary school video that Agnes found on youtube.com

The Loch Ness Monster

OMG !!!

This is a true Craigslist post called "The Loch Ness Monster". The 'deconstruct' response that came after is SO GayHudson.com, I wish I wrote it myself!!!

Here goes, gals. This is the original post. This is the photo with it:


ok, so i'm looking for something that is nearly as hard to find.
28 white masc goodlooking guy here.
looking for similar guy for regular oral sessions.
you: white clean MASC discreet straight-acting D&D free around my age
you should enjoy kicking back for a nice long slow wet BJ. supposedly everyone likes getting blown and getting head, so how hard should this be?

again, i'm 28 white masc. you should be similar.
your pics and stats please. face and cockshots preferred.
this MUST be discreet.

i can host or travel. regular thing is what i'm seeking. we get to hang out and you get frequent BJs.

*******************************************************


OK folks, here's the response below. You see I'm not the only bored queen out there. I LOVE this guy - the photo goes with the response.

**********************************************************

Dear Nessie,

Judging by the "camouflage" style, military cargo-shorts in the pic you've posted, it really does not seem like you are that special. I must have spotted at least 500 fellow "nessies" prancing around 8th avenue today in their masc/musc "str8 acting" military cargo-shorts.

I think you're going through a second teenagehood. "Nobody understands me!".

Oh please, Mary Fay! You're SIMPLY NOT THAT SPECIAL!

Oh and let me guess. You have some tacky tattoo, bleached teeth and you've tanned so much from your truly unique Fire island weekend that you look like a walking cuban cigar.

Did I deconstruct you thoroughly enough? You're the "masc/musc" type, so I'm sure you can handle it.

xo,
Lola


**************************************************

I love it, I love it, I love it. The drag queen photo, everything. I could not have written it better myself!!!

This is to all of you clone gay queens, you're not that special. You're TEXTBOOK!!

Some people have said to me, "Miss Trixie, you're so insightful."

No, not really....

You see, Miss Trixie's been to the rodeo, and most of these boys are just dumb bulls.

Here's a few lines from Miss Trixie's textbook:

"I'm so deep/creative/intelligent/artistic, no one understands me."
Uh, no...you're just pretentious. It's a facade. If you were really that smart, then you'd know how to be down-to-earth and endear yourself to me. Just don't TELL me you're smart. Prove it.

"What's YOUR Manhunt profile?"
This equals, I spend 6-8 hours a day trying to hook up. I'm emotionally unavailable. Remedy - lots of yoga classes. Needs to open their hearts, not just their asses.

"Would you like to come home with my boyfriend and I?"
We are bored and unhappy with each other, but neither of us has the chutzpah to actually change or do anything about it. We hook up with other guys hoping to find excitement. (granted, there ARE happy, stable couples that do this, but they are the exception, not the rule...true?)

How many queens sitting on bar stools in Hudson need to be "deconstructed'?

hello.

Granted, life is a process - like my kitchen wall - and we're all going through it, but after 20 years, that's what I've found.

The work is never done....

Philosophy in Spam

This is true. I get a lot of "spam". Not, the bits and pieces of who-knows-what meat, but spam email.

This was an ad to buy Photoshop.

In the email, under the photo itself, is some text. Sometimes the text makes no sense, but this spam is a little philosophic:

**********************************

To inherit property is not to be born -- it is to be still-born, rather.

He that humbleth himself wishes to be exalted.

Superior people never make long visits.

Life has a practice of living you, if you don't live it.

People who enjoy what they are doing invariably do it well.

What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

The jack-of-all-trades seldom is good at any.

Concentrate all of your efforts on one definite chief aim.

Love is rarer than genius itself.

And friendship is rarer than love.

A friend is someone who doesn't like the same people you do.

The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.

He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing.

If you did not look after today's business then you might as well forget about tomorrow. Freedom is the opportunity to make decisions...

*************************************

I definitely know a few in Hudson that can benefit from those pearls of spam-wisdom.

Maybe that's why it came to me in the mail....you never know when or where you're going to get a sign or a message.

Hudson, this Spam's for you.

Hudson's own Swimsuit: Rufskin Hudson Trunk

Who knew?

Agnes, our old whore of a reporter, found this swimsuit on-line:

Here's the link

Rufskin Hudson Trunk
From Rufskin

Rufskin clothing is cut to emphasize the body and sizes run small. Please order accordingly since items that are worn or with tags removed cannot be returned. Due to the popularity of the Rufskin brand, items may not be readily available until up to 2 to 4 weeks after you place order.

Rufskin's Hudson Trunk is the perfect underwear for wear with your Rufskin jeans or workout wear. They are incredibly sexy and well designed. They feature the Rufskin logo down the side. Designed to show off your best assets.

This town isn't big enough....

WTF? MORE!! Why does everyone have my hair?

Miss Trixie is not happy.

From what I understand, there's someone in Hudson with MY hairstyle!!

Listen bitch, you either go get yourself some Manic Panic hair dye OR you better keep South of Warren. ONE stiletto heel North of Warren, and Miss Trixie and her posse are not having it! No way, girlfriend.

You think I've been in yoga training for seven years for NOTHING! I'll bitch slap you right from Hudson to Ganeshela.

Om Shanti, my ass, motha-fucker!

Lions and Tigers and Bears - Oh My!

As I work on a lengthly post, describing the socio-economic differences of upstate vs. downstate, I figure that I'll just give you something to chew on.

Watch clips from this video, 'Bear Sandwich'. You can download the mpegs and then watch them over and over.

Or, you can not be a cheap fuck, and just PAY for the video so that you don't have to get hard and try to come all within the ten second loop.

It's like masturbating to the Channel 11 Christmas Eve Yule Log...the same eleven second flames in a loop.

First set of Clips.

Second set of Clips.

Since we didn't have a post for yesterday, we had an emergency staff meeting this morning, and "Bear Sandwich" is what we decided upon.

When we have no ideas, we just put up pictures of fat naked people. It's so simple, and works every time - like fart jokes!

"Bear Sandwich" seems like a really good video. I mean, it's fat hairy naked guys having sex. Why wouldn't you PAY for that?

Nothing but quality, here at GayHudson.com. Supposedly the "Bear" genre is all the rage in upstate New York....who knew?

Agnes voted for "Dreams Cum True" , which is fatter guys having sex.

More cushion for the pushin'!

If you eat bear food, then you just gotta make sure you have that steel reinforced bed frame. And you might have to call in a house/floor inspector.

Don't blame GayHudson.com if you and your bear fall through your 150-year-old rotted Victorian floor. It's not our fault.

Miss Trixie is already trying to figure out how to rent out kayaks without being burdened by high insurance costs....it may not be possible. Oh well.

GayHudson.com does not need any MORE lawsuits....thank you very much.

The town of Greenport is suing GayHudson.com for defamation of character. Babydoll, we just call a spade a spade. Trailer trash is trailer trash...leave us the fuck alone.

No one cares...

I'm taking the day off.

I got nothing.

Miss Trixie Tries Dating....

Why is Miss Trixie single?

Ok, folks, dear gentle, little town of Hudson...

I joined yet another dating service....THIS TIME, there's a question and answer section....

.....I always did better on the orals....this is true..

Anyway...some guy sent me two questions and I had to answer them....

Here are his questions, with my answers:
Q: What are your favorite guilty pleasures?

A: Ass-eating.....oops, can I say that? OK, how about pizza?

Q: Looking back at your life, what has been the most significant "fork in the road"? Do you feel you made the right choice at the time? Would you choose differently now?

A: Waking up in the gutter, blood on my ass, a joint in my mouth, hoping that I was laying in my OWN vomit. I put the "fork" in my pimp, told him to get lost and started a successful career on Wall Street.

OK, then ANOTHER guy sent me an email and he asked:

Q: Have you ever had sex at work?

I responded:

A: Babydoll, my work was sex. Next question.



I haven't heard back from them. I figure, hey, if he can't handle THAT....shit, what'll happen when he reads this blog?

Yeah, folks, it's going to be a long bumpy ride...

Miss Trixie's Kayak Adventure

OK - This is true....

I'm getting my second kayak this weekend, and starting NEXT weekend, August 11 -12, I'm going to start renting out the kayaks and walking folks down to the water, and putting them in.

It's going to be called,

"Miss Trixie's Kayak Adventure"

This is the deal:

There are two kayaks, like the one above. Each kayak holds one person and there's a water-proof storage compartment.

You each get a life jacket so you don't die, and a paddle, don't break them on your ass.

The water's really easy and calm. I tell people, they have to be a major spaz to tip over.

("spaz", I know, SO Long Island 1987....)

It'll cost $10/person ($10/kayak) per hour - three hour minimum.

So, two people out on the water for three hours will cost $60.

Reasonable?

You come North of Warren, sign a release form, leave your driver's license, we walk down to the water, give you a five minute lesson, and you're off. Clock starts when you're in the water. It takes about fifteen minutes from my house to the water.

Appointments are whenever I feel like it. You'll have to check the website.

I'm going to set up a separate website and there will be a link from here - the infamous GayHudson.com.

This way, you bed and breakfast folks can give them a "SAFE" website address. They won't have to go to GayHudson.com. We don't want to scare the tourists into thinking that there's a WWI trench-warefare battle on Warren Street or that you can get a blow job in the park.

Well.....you decide if you want to tell them about the blow jobs. Maybe if they're cute....

That's the deal.

Cash, in advance. Miss Trixie wouldn't have it any other way....

Rich@GayHudson.com

(Miss Trixie's Kayak Adventure is currently under legal review....dates to be determined).