Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Fucking Valentine's Day!

Someone said to me a few months ago,

"Trixie, maybe if you just TONED it down just a little bit, and tried to be a little more approachable, maybe then you might, just maybe, find a date in Hudson."

To which, I responded, "Fuck you, asshole!"

True story...My day started off this morning with the dog having the runs on the rug last night. There I was, on my hands and knees, cleaning up shit.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who started their Valentine's Day by cleaning up the shit from last night.

Sending you my "LOVE" on Valentine's Day!



Here's my advice for Valentine's Day; if you don't set your expectations too high, then you won't be disappointed.

For all of us single gals, if you REALLY want a boyfriend, just follow Trixie's three words of advice, they NEVER FAIL!

"LOWER. YOUR. STANDARDS."

If you follow those three words of wisdom, you will ALWAYS have a boyfriend!

You will ALWAYS get laid!

You will always have some co-dependent, drunken, crack-head, can't-keep-a-job, Momma's boy clinging onto you for a shred of self-worth.



What were you expecting from me today, Polly-fucking-anna?


:)

Love ya,

Trixie

PS - And oh yeah, come to my party tomorrow night at Jason's.

29 comments:

Bloody Mary said...

Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,
Talk about things you'd like to do.
You got to have a dream,
If you don't have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?

If you don't talk happy,
And you never have dream,
Then you'll never have a dream come true!

dr joyce brothers said...

Do you exude a sense of support and compassion with others?
Do you think others feel safe and relaxed with you?
Are you a generally positive person?
Are you non-judgmental with yourself and others?
Are you compassionate with your own shortcomings and try to heal them?
Do you feel peaceful much of the time?
Are you able to let resentments go rather than harbor them?
Do you laugh frequently?
Are you kind to family, friends and people you don’t know well?

Anonymous said...

Lower my standards? What's lower that Hudson? Catskill???

Trixie said...

[Chorus]
The more you, put me through,
The more it makes me wanna come back to you,
You say you hate me, I just love you more,
You don't want me, I just want you more,
I buy you flowers, you throw 'em at me,
I know it's sad but it's makin me happy,
The more that you slap me, the more that it turns me on,
Cuz you love me, and I love you more.

[Verse 1]
It's sick, but who could ever predict,
We'd be doin' the same shit,
We say we do it for our baby but we don't,
We do it for us, it's lust,
Cuz neither one of us trusts each other,
So we fuck 'til we bust,
Then we cuss each other, out,
We know what it's about,
Shout 'til I throw you out the house,
You throw me out the house,
I throw you on the couch,
Punch you in the mouth,
Fist fight 'til we turn this mother OUT,
And apologize after,
Laughter, pain, it's insane,
We're back in the same chapter again,
And it's sad but it's true,
When I'm layin' here with you,
There ain't nothin' anyone could ever say ever do.

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
Cuz I hate you, do you hate me?
Good cuz you're so fuckin' beautiful when you're angry,
It makes me wanna just take you,
And just throw you on the bed,
And fuck you like I don't even know you,
You fuck other people, and I fuck other people,
You a slut but I'm equal, I'm a mutt,
We're both evil in our ways,
But neither one of us would ever admit it,
Cuz one of us would have one up on the other,
So forget it,
We can make accusations, people spread rumors,
But they ain't got proof,
'Til they do it's just the two of us,
It's you and me, cuz any chick can say that she's screwin' me,
But you gotta believe me to a degree,
Cuz if you didn't I wouldn't be hittin' it,
Yeah I would cuz the sex is too damn good,
If I ran who would I run to,
That would be this soft and warm,
So it's off and on, usually more off than on,
But at least we know that we share this common bond,
You're the only one I can fuck without a condom on,
I hope, the only reason that I cope,
Is cuz of that fact,
And plus I can bust in that,
And that's why...

Anonymous said...

Trixie I love the way you can look in the mirror every morning and LAUGH

Trixie said...

Happy Valentine's Day!

By the way, the dollar shots at tomorrow's party are going to be shots of PENICILLIN!

Have fun tonight!

Lesley said...

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Anonymous said...

Is Catskill lower than "South of Warren" or above? "North of Warren"? Is Athens above "North of Warren" or below? Is Coxsackie above Athens or below?

Trixie said...

Upper West Side
Gramercy
South of Warren
Chelsea
Chatham
North of Warren
Brooklyn
Athens
Queens
Coxsackie
Staten Island

mario said...

Staten Island at the bottom???

I'M GONNA CUT YOU BITCH!

adelaide said...

It says here:
The average unmarried (fe)male
Basically insecure
Due to some long frustration may react
With psychosomatic symptoms
Difficult to endure
Affecting the upper resperatory tract.

In other words, just from waiting around for that plain little band of gold
A person can develop a cold.

Anonymous said...

Claverack?

WHAT ABOUT CLAVERACK???

Sandro said...

Belive you me... Life is BEAUTIFULl till the extend.. If u think its DIFFICULT then look
at those people who do not even get to eat food..
Help people if u can and LOVE all.
HATE no body.
We are gays GOD'S favorite. GOD made us to spread LOVE andd PEACE.

sandro said...

Brazilian am looking for someone who banque me, and that I can live with, no matter the age, I have 185m, 75k, green eyes, not embedded, do not miss your time, I await contact. No noth of warren.

o said...

is there going to be a spanking and humiliation room at your party?

Anonymous said...

You would rather go out with a group of stupid Brazilian "models" than come to the awesome party at Jason's???

Anonymous said...

If your standards were any lower you'd be in Mellenville.

Trixie said...

Who ARE these people?

Trixie said...

AGNES!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!?

I ask you to moderate comments for this blog for an hour and a half while I go to my yoga class and LOOK WHAT HAPPENS!!!

Not even two minutes after my last OM-fucking-SHANTI and I'm reading all these stupid-ass comments!

REJECT! Learn how to hit REJECT!!

If I hear that you've been posting on other message boards! God help you, Agnes!

And could you PLEASE ask that cat of yours WHEN my taxes are going to be done! I gave him the forms last week!

Dammit, Agnes!

You've RUINED CHRISTMAS!!

Anonymous said...

Trixxie - take is easy on Agnes at her age if she rejects anyone the rent may not get paid. Old whores don't collect social security they never paid in. That old bag is going to be accepting until the day she dies!

Agnes said...

Hmph. Moderate comments? What does that mean? Did you see where I left my teeth?

Anonymous said...

What's the name of this party again?

Misery loves company???

norman vincent peale said...

That's it Trixie! Faith in yourself brings good things to you!

Trixie said...

yeah, yeah, yeah....

Cash, upfront, at the door!

Anonymous said...

And give me my change on the way out!

Rose Marie said...

Try singing this at the top of your lungs every morning in the mirror Trixie!

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
In high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say come dance with me
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems
At seventeen

Anonymous said...

Happy valentines day fucking, I say

Anonymous said...

The nice thing about standards is that you can pick or choose any ones you want.

Shirley said...

Be optimistic!
Don't you be a grumpy
When the road gets bumpy
Just smile
Smile and be happy!

Your troubles can't be
As bad as all that
When you're sad as all that
No one loves you

Be optimistic!
Don't you be a mourner
Brighten up that corner
And smile

Don't wear a long face
It's never in style
Be optimistic
And smile!