Friday, February 22, 2008

Will Trixie Make It to Jasons Tonight???

Hey kiddos I heard that Trixies brazilian wax didnt take. I guess in brazil they wax your face. Shes just not a beach girl she got sand in her thong shes heading back up north.

Are you there God?

Its me Agnes.

I know that youre all wondering what an old hooker does in a snowstorm. I was too so I celled Trixie to ask. It sounded like some sort of commotion in the background I think I heard something like federal regualtions say we cant take this aircraft off miss until all you people get out of that restroom.

I myself had no trouble getting to work today. I found an ironing board in an alley and attached it to the Zanichinelli trolley bus. Its called snowboarding. Ive been to WalMart and back twice already. I couldnt get off it.

I passed Gio on Warren Street he was hauling his record player up to Jasons in a Price Chopper shopping cart.

Well we hope that Trixie makes it to her party tonight because she took Jasons bottle opener last week. I think that she thought it was her IUD.

But if Trixie doesnt make it tonight that means more yummy jello tequila shots for me and my new boyfriend. It will be fun tonight either way. As Tippy would say its a win/win.

So God help poor Miss Trixie.

Find her a cab so she can get to Jasons on time. 521 Warren Street. 9:00 pm tonight.

Ill be in the back with my sweetie petutie Clownfacegogoboy!


Ellen said...

Agnes, your continuing service to the community of Hudson knows no bounds!

Rose Marie said...

That's not "service to the community" - that's community service.

Have a nice day!

Anonymous said...

I’m really worried if Big Momma will make it back in time too! I know she has snow tires on her Escalade but what if she and Ja'reem get stopped at the border and they run a metal detector over their asses?

Anonymous said...

Has Trixie been spotted yet? What airport is she flying into - Albany? Newburgh? Columbia County? Germantown? Is there a dogsled picking her up? Are there sentinels posted along Routes 9G, 9Y, and 9Z ready to spot her red merkin and announce her return to our Friendly City?

Anonymous said...

If you see a drag queen hitchiking wearing a red wig, a bikini and a fur coat -- PICK HER UP AND BRING HER TO JASON'S!!!

Rose Marie said...

I sure hope all you degenerates have fun wallowing in your filth tonight!

Trixie said...

First of all, Trixie doesn't wear fur.

Secondly, and more importantly, I wear a one piece...

....with a little skirt.

But, I just made it last night having two flights cancelled on me yesterday out of Florida. Feels so good to be back in the cold.

Anonymous said...

Temporary layoffs


Shoveling snow all day