Wednesday, April 16, 2008

You Can Have a Town, Why Don't You Take It?

Trixie Starr at home
I have since given up smoking...
(free cap to the first person who can identify this actress. Email me,

I know what you're thinking...

"Trixie Starr, how do you do it?"

People come up to me on Warren Street constantly and say, "Trixie, dahling, a gurl from the Bronx, a modest South Shore upbringing, and just look at you now! You're a self-made career gal, real estate baronness, icon...."

Yes, yes, and YES...

Well it's you gurl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it
Love is all around, no need to waste it

You can have a town, why don't you take it.
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all

I tell them, "Happy Happy, Up Up!"

It's my motto.

Just spread peace and love.....and your legs. Like Big Momma said, "Be nice to the gentlemen, Trixie, and they'll be nice to you."

Being me is not easy; the parties, the social obligations, the MEN!

"Hello. Is Ms. Trixie Starr available?
There's an art opening in Catskill this weekend."

Just being able to maintain my own level of beauty is a full-time job. (Sometimes I miss a wax appointment or two -- it's hard for us Italian gurls)

It is very difficult to maintain this level of beauty.


My dear, good friend, Edith Head called me up yesterday and said,

"Trixie, I need you to help promote these plays in Schenectady."

I said, "What's a 'schenectady'?"

"It's a city in upstate New York," said Edith, defiantly.

"What?" I said, "Someone named a CITY 'Schenectady'? Why? 'Ho-Ho-Kus' was already taken?"

"Just shut the fuck up, Trixie, and promote these plays for me."

"Fine, Edith. I will."

Here goes:

In case you have absolutely nothing else better to do with your life, you should drive to Ho-Ho-Kus, I mean, Schenectady, and see these plays.

There are FOUR Hudsonites involved.

Go to Edith wrote the paragraphs below, but you can pretend you read it the next time you see her...I just cut and paste.

...and don't think that just because it's call PROCTORS that you're going to get a lubed, digit rectal exam afterwards! If you want that, then come and see me after the show.


In advance.

Love you SO MUCH! Kisses!



This is from Edith:

A handful of Hudsonites are taking over at Proctors, well not exactly but Hudson is moving north to Schenectady. (yes Trixie there is a Schenectady, it is not a “fantasy” place I hide out when I don’t want to go to the whorehouse).

For the past year I have been working as the Managing Director for the New Plays Festival at one of Proctors new venues: 440 Upstairs at Proctors in Schenectady, NY. We are halfway thru the festival and YOU should check it out.

General Desdemona, by Egan Reich Winter of 1846, Corpus Christi, Texas, The Mexican – American War. A time before Americans "invaded" other countries, and where military personal stage Shakespeare productions and fight for the role of Desdemona in Othello. Enter a young Ulysses S. Grant, he would play many parts in his lifetime, this one would be in drag. (And yes this did happen)

Battles of the Band, by Kevin Dobies. Rob Cantwell, front man for local rock band Ace Bandage, is desperate to break into the big time. But first he will meet his dream girl, lose his job and play the local battle of the bands. It's either the beginning of his triumphant rock opera or his personal swan song.

110 Flights, by Nahal NavidarA study of human relations set within the wake of 9/11. The tragic event opens wounds and an emotional dialogue between a husband and his wife, one of whom is a NYC cop and the other an Iranian-American grad student.

These plays are playing in repertory style until April 27th.

Dates below:

April 15 - 110, 7:30

April 16 - 110, 7:30

April 17 - GD, 1:30

April 17 - Band, 7:30

April 18 - 110, 7:30

April 19 - 110, 1:30

April 19 - Band, 7:30

April 20 - GD, 1:30

April 22 - Band, 7:30

April 23 - 110, 7:30

April 24 - 110, 1:30

April 24 - GD, 7:30

April 25 - 110, 7:30

April 26 - GD, 1:30

April 26 - Band, 7:30

April 27 - 110, 1:30

TKTS are only $26 Each! (for that you can get a burrito at Mexican Radio or watch a play with a dead Mexican)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Might the Cotton-Candy British Blond Bombshell be Diana Dors? Put a hot pink dynel bob on her and she's a dead-ringer for Hudsons own Trixie Starr.


Trixie HAS been spending a lot of time in the UK lately ... looking up a long lost twin sister? ... tracking down a deadbeat sodden Dad??