Thursday, May 8, 2008

Ladies, Keep Your Man in LINE!

Every now and then, people ask me,

"Miss Trixie, how do you find enough stuff to write about?"

Please, in THIS town?

Well, when the Mr. Ding-A-Ling ice cream truck isn't clang-clang-clanging outside my window, and I'm at a loss for words (which doesn't happen that often), I just open up the Register-Star, and there's more than enough material!

Like today....

Mr. Cross is on the front page today, in an orange jump suit.

It is so difficult to see such a fine-looking, young man like that in such awful fashion! It pains me on so many levels.

You tell Mr. Cross, that when he's done, email Miss Trixie. I have a couple of ideas.


First of all, we need to find you a good, strong woman to keep your ass in LINE!

Miss Trixie's Charm School for Gurls

Ladies, (and I mean "ladies" of BOTH genders), don't put up with any shit from any man!

The women of ancient Greece knew their power. When they were tired of having their men go off to war, they said,

"Listen boys, no pussy until there's peace!"

And by pussy, I means, ALL TYPES of pussy...Girl-pussy, boy-pussy, gurl-pussy; it doesn't matter.

If all ladies got together and said, "No more pussy until the troops come home from Iraq", babydoll, the war would be over TOMORROW!

Because PUSSY is more powerful than OIL! Trust me.

Men will do anything for it; lie, cheat, steal. Some may even be upstanding citizens for pussy!

Even men who have money and power are chasing pussy. They can't get enough. Just ask Ms. Spitzer.

Another one that needed to be kept in LINE!

If your man is a DOG (and that's such a bad term, because my dog is more faithful than most men I know...), then sometimes you have to let him go and let him taste all the bad pussy that's out there.

When he's finished eating bad, gutter, trashy, smells-like-cigarette-smoke pussy, and if he LEARNED his lesson (not many learn), then he can call you.

Not before.

Together, ladies, we can change the world.

Join me.

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