Thursday, July 31, 2008

Soy Latte

Don't even JOKE about Starbucks!

"Trixie, don't even JOKE about putting a Starbucks in Hudson! That'll gentrify Hudson!"

Yeah, I know, it was a JOKE!

Although a little more capitalism in this town wouldn't hurt!

Working Gurls Unite!

You see, Trixie is a working gurl; a modern, independent woman. Work hard, party hard, that's my motto!

People come to me and say,

"Trixie, a $10 cover? That's too much."

Listen, if you're able-bodied enough to go to a dance party, then you're able-bodied enough to get a job and work!

Trixie's a capitalist, and proud of it!

Or, maybe you want to go to another party? Like, the Communist Party? See what kind of dance music they play on a kibbutz in Israel!

Don't call ME a hora! You're a HORA!

Don't tell me that there are no jobs in Hudson! It's very difficult to find a good contractor or electrician in this town. The few good ones are very busy. There's plenty of people looking to hire someone.

Oh, wait, you want to qualify that statement now....

There's no work that you WANT to do?

Or, that you're skilled for?

THAT's a different story.....

Well, don't look to me for sympathy.

But, since I do have a heart - somewhere - for my gentle, devoted readers, I offer a REDUCED ADMISSION card, now available at LICK.

Go to LICK and ask them for a card, and they will give you one. The cards are free. LICK is the sponsor of Saturday night's Costume Contest.
Best SWIMSUIT wins $50!!


What does that mean?

That means you have to PLAN a little and have some organization in your life if you want to save a few bucks.

I think that's fair.

Starting in September, there will be NO GUEST LIST. (It's too difficult for the door person to check off the names, collect the money, yadda, yadda, yadda.)
Just get a fucking Reduced Admission card and use it. They're free, and they're re-usable.


Just stop whining already! Geez!

I can bring home the tofu, fry it up in a pan.....

Will ENJOLI sponsor a Trixie's Whorehouse party?

Do They Make Viagra for Flagpoles?

Today, as I was walking my dog near Promenade Park - by the infamous Washington Hose - someone looked at all the yellow caution tape and asked me,

"Was there a murder?"

"No, the pole fell."

"Oh. It looks like a murder scene."

"Yeah, but not today." I answered.

There was a lot of wind the other day and the flagpole fell. It looks rusted at the base, I guess we should have known. Thank God no one was sitting on top of it at the time.

The first day, I didn't go into the park, but today, I ventured past the caution tape, overcoming my fears....

I thought to myself, 'Well, the flagpole already fell, so, it's not going to fall again and kill me.'

It fell between a lamppost and a fence, so there's no fear of it rolling ON me and killing me that way, either.

Confident that I wasn't going to die by flagpole, I walked into the park.

I guess the concern is that people might trip over it.

Which, is a legitimate concern, especially if someone is blind. Although, if they were blind, they wouldn't notice the yellow caution tape either....

I think, if you did trip over this flagpole, it's kinda your own fault. Like, don't blame the city.

It's a big flagpole.

But, in our litigious society, we have to warn people that coffee is hot, and do not eat this silicone bag, and don't trip over the flagpole.

I mean, why not warn people, "Don't trip on the stairs." or, "Don't trip on the stone wall." or "Don't walk into a tree." ?

When does a judge just throw someone out of court and say, "You tripped over THAT flagpole? Well, that's what you get for being stupid."


Did the town's insurance go up, now that there's a higher risk of flagpole failure?

What do I know? I'm not a lawyer, nor an insurance adjuster.....I just throw swimsuit parties.

Let's just hope the park technically "re-opens" soon, and we can go back to finding used condoms in the park.

Hey, at least they use condoms.

Glass half full.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Condoms at the Next Trixie's Whorehouse Party!!

As the public servant that I am, I made a few phone calls, sent a couple of emails, and this month, for the first time, Trixie's Whorehouse will have FREE CONDOMS for our guests.

It's about fucking time.

There are 3,000 condoms in my basement. True. Some are EXTRA LARGE.


No comment.

Madonna's 50th Birthday!!!

This weekend - not ONLY is it a SWIMSUIT party (have I mentioned the swimsuits?), but it's also Madonna's 50th birthday.

Holy fucking shit is right. How many of us remember when this first came out?

You realize that there will be people OF DRINKING AGE coming to the party who were born AFTER this song was released.

Take a disco nap, bring your oxygen tank, just come to the Whorehouse this Saturday and have a good time, already.

Before you're dead.

Love ya,

No one's getting any younger.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Manhattan Zucchini

Do you miss Manhattan, Trixie?

People ask me, constantly, "How do you like living here full time?", and I don' t know what to say.

Some are genuinely interested, but I think that there might be some waiting for me to admit to a HORRENDOUS mistake. How could a city gal ever survive?

Dahling, I love you, but....

The answer is, "It's fine."

What do I miss? Starbucks....sigh....

(My vote is lease out the Washington Hose building to Starbucks so that I can get a strong cup of coffee in the morning! And get a business in Hudson that can help pay some of these fucking taxes!)

Today, I'm searching through recipes, baking zucchini bread (I have one in the oven now, I thought I'd write a blog post while I'm waiting -- tra la la).

What the fuck do you do with all this zucchini that they give you from the farm coop?

Who can eat this much zucchini?

This is WAY too much zucchini.

It may look inviting, and you've been there, but too much zucchini is just too much maintenance.

You find yourself saying,

"Yes, your zucchini is SO BIG. Oh, I just don't know what to do with all that zucchini....Yes, your zucchini is a direct representation of your manliness."

I don't know why they don't appreciate my re-assurance.

This is much a more practical zucchini.

You do run the risk, that practical zucchinis come with things like Camaros and anabolics. Oh my.

Yeah, I know how big your zucchini is...

What's a gal to do?

Go to the swimsuit party on Saturday. And see who's there...

Did I mention that it's swimsuits?

Monday, July 28, 2008

Lick Sponsors Swimsuit Costume Contest Saturday!!

At this Saturday's Trixie's Whorehouse Party (see below for details) the theme is SWIMSUITS!

And Lick, that fabulous ice cream parlor on Warren Street, is sponsoring the costume contest!!

The best swimsuit wins $50!

Winners will be announced at midnight!


Maybe this isn't Hudson....but, who cares?

Party Saturday August 2nd

PS - We were going to do Swimsuits in August, then we thought about uniforms....

BUT, it's August. And it's too hot for uniforms, especially anyone who has their wool army uniform.

Save it for October, we'll do uniforms then.


Monday's Lucky 7 - WON $7 !!!

WON $7!!!

Over the weekend, my local store ran out of Lucky 7' I didn't buy any until this morning.

It's a new roll of tickets, a new chance at life!

I won $7.

There are people waiting for me to lose. I know.

As of now, I'm winning.

I should probably quit while I'm ahead. I figure I should at least do it for one month or 20 days so that I could extrapolate some "meaningful" statistics.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Photos from Slumber Party from DJ Abel

Here are some more photos by DJ Abel from the last Trixie's Whorehouse Party.

Remember, party this Saturday, August 2nd. Swimsuit Theme.

If there's ONE PHOTO to capture my vision and raison d'ĂȘtre for Trixie's Whorehouse, this would be it.

well...maybe this one, too....

Friday, July 25, 2008

Over the Rainbow Buffet at Doubles II in Catskill

Saturday Night, July 26th, 7 PM

Last Sat-of-the-month


Church & Water Streets
Catskill, NY


Chicken a la DOUBLES
Baked whitefish & lemon
Tortellini pasta
String beans & glazed carrots

New York Cheesecake and Coffee

- $15 -

Come and help Sam and Mike celebrate their ... 37th !!!! anniversary !!!

IMPORTANT: Please RSVP to so that DOUBLES II can plan how many to prepare for. Your cooperation is most appreciated.


Lost All, Won $1, Won $4

You thought I forgot.

Well, here's the Lucky 7s from the past three days.

Wed, Thurs, and Friday.

On Wednesday, I lost both. Down $2.

On Thursday, I won $1. Net net, I was down another $1

And today, I won $4, so up $2.

Total, over the past three days, down $1.


"Trixie," you say, "this is a stupid exercise. Just buy a bunch of tickets or call the guy at the community college and he'll tell you the odds. Why are you doing this?"

Is that it?

Is it all pre-determined, Mr. Presbyterian?

You may believe that it is all pre-determined, and that the odds are already set, so why bother?

Or, you may believe that the series of choices, actions, and thoughts I've had in my life lead up to the moment of purchasing the tickets, and that THAT may somehow affect the odds.

Or, you may believe that there are MULTIPLE universes co-existing, in parallel, quantum worlds where I am both WINNING and LOSING, at the same time.

Or, maybe you just don't care at all.

I don't know the answer.

Does anyone?



What do you expect?

Do you know what it's like, every day, to sit down at this computer, and try to come up with witty bon mots, pop-cultural references, and little life-affirming small-town ancedotes as a single post-urban gay man in upstate New York?

You think its easy, don't you?

Well, fuck you.

Maybe instead of saying, "What is Trixie going to do for ME today, you SHOULD be saying, what can I do for Trixie?"

What can I do for Trixie?

Whine, whine, whine, complain, complain, complain....

I'm tired of listening to it.

Shut the TV, get off your ass, and do something a little different today, something that pushes you a little bit more - out of your comfort zone.

Then talk to me.

And, oh yeah, come to the party next Satuday, it's Gio's last time until November (I need a break from that one....sigh....), and it's Madonna's 50th birthday party, so, we're going to play a lot of Madonna.

And don't fucking complain about the Swimsuit theme, because I'm already hearing, "Oh, I'm so self-conscious about my body. I can't possibly wear that..."

Get over it.

Have you BEEN to Walmart in Greenport? Do you SEE what people look like and what they wear?


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Another Break Even Day with Lucky 7

Today was another break even day. I spent $2, I won $2.

The purpose of this exercise is to see WHEN I start losing. How long does it take, and over a course of time, let's say one month, how much money will I lose?

So far, I'm up $2.

Scratch off and Lotto tickets are available at almost every corner in town. Lottery tickets are more available than fresh produce or skim milk.


My theory is that in towns with so little opportunity, these scratch offs and lottery tickets represent a chance (albeit a slight chance), for change and a better life.

All you need is a dollar and a dream, right?

I view the lottery as a regressive tax, taking, proportionally, more money from people with lower incomes.

Where is the benefit from the lottery?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Selling in a bad housing market?

There's a common council meeting Tuesday night, regarding the sale of Washington Hose.


Central Firehouse
North Seventh Street

It's really important, and you should go.

If you've never been to a Common Council meeting, they're fun....kinda like this:

Ok, nothing like that....

ENERGIZ your day in Greenport

Thanks to B for this!

If anyone can find a misspelling in town, take a pic and send it over!

A free cap for you!

Won $2's a winning streak!

Is it a wig? Look at the expression on the other guy.

I'm on a winning streak!

I won another $2 today in the Lucky 7's scratch offs. I broke even.

(Why aren't there more male streakers in the US? I would watch more baseball games if I knew there was a possibility of a streaker....)

The top ticket is a winner. It's $1 x 2. It's a double.

I hope that you are enjoying my gambling addiction vicariously. Side story....

In the 70s or 80s, I don't remember exactly when, but when NYS was considering a lottery, the argument was so that there would be "more money for schools." Well, so many years and millions (or billions) of dollars later and guess what?

There's still not enough money for schools.

So....what's the point of the lottery?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

I WON $4 This Morning!

I won $4....for those unfamiliar, in the top ticket, I won the amount on the left, multiplied by two, since I got the double dollar signs!

For my readers with enough fortitude and statistical curiosity, I plan on keeping a record of my winnings and losses from the Lucky 7 scratch-off tickets.

You can read the post below, but the rules are:

1) Winnings are re-invested
2) No more than two tickets are bought per day.

Day One, I bought two dollars worth of tickets, I won $2. I broke even.

Day Two, I traded in (re-invested) the two winning tickets from Day One, and got two more tickets. On one ticket, I won $4. Now, I'm ahead $2.

Isn't this fascinating?

Anyway, the more interesting part of today, if you can believe it, were the Wacky Raft Races from Athens to Catskill.

A friend met me at my place at 8am and we kayaked out into the water to see the hubbub!


Now, it's a simple idea, and there were SO MANY people in the rafts, and people watching, and it was a great way for the residents to use the most valuable resource, the river!

And how much did it cost the town? $1,000 Prize money? Some extra police service?

We're already considering a Trixie raft next year.

OH, the possibilities!

I took a ton of photos. You'll have to wait until tomorrow, I'm exhausted!

Love ya,


Lucky Seven Scratch Off Rate of Return

I have very few vices.

For instance, every morning, as I walk my dog with my cup of coffee (vice #1), I stop into the local bodega and buy two scratch off lottery tickets (vice #2) and the Register-Star (vice #3).

Oh yeah, and I forgot about the coked-up 25-year-old I left at the house while walking the dog.

I just hope he doesn't steal anything.


Anyway, I've wanted to do this for my own benefit, but I figured thatyou can take part as well, my gentle readers.

I'm going to start keeping track of my Lucky 7's scratch off lottery ticket earnings to determine the rate of return.

Because, I view scratch off lottery tickets as my retirement plan, like many people.

Even though this might skew the statistics, I am going to start with yesterday, when my rate of return was 100%. I spent $2, I won $2.

100% rate of return on my investment.

In Vegas, the slot machines MUST have a minimum of 95% rate of return (true). It's a law. (I might be a percent or two off, but there is the law - unlike slot machines on cruise ships in international waters. You wonder why you don't win, huh?)

That's why, you'll see slot machines in Vegas advertising 98% . (Those are the good ones!)

Which means, that for every dollar you put in (over a course of time), you will receive an AVERAGE of 98 cents back.

That rate of return can be received in one large lump payment, or a dollar here, a dollar there. It keeps you interested.

LONG TERM, if you continue to put money into the slot machine, you will receive 98 cents back for every dollar you put in.

And people flock to the 98% machines.

Vegas is a lot like the traders on Wall Street. You don't have to actually "manufacture" anything. You just have to gamble (or trade stocks - which is nothing more than informed gambling). As long as you can skim off the top, and take out your 2% long term, you're making money.

I'm keeping track in the side bar of this blog.

All earnings will be re-"invested". A maximum of $2 will be spent per day, regardless of winning/losses (I mean, let's not go crazy...)

Let the fun begin!

This was Saturday's....I won $2. Broke even.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Waiting for the Register-Star...

Waiting for the Register-Star's editorial on transitional housing...

Are we going to see an editorial in the Register-Star addressing the transitional housing proposal?

Let's the editorial was about what?

Oh yes, the "Excitement Resonating Over the Grey Fox Festival".

When there's a Redd Foxx festival, call me.

Maybe the Register-Star has run out of opinions.

If that's the case, then here's my email address,

I have A TON of opinions, I can give you some.

How could there be a major issue in town and the paper not have an opinion about it? They had no problem shooting down the Haunted House idea for Washington Hose. They ran with THAT story pretty quickly.

But, a transitional housing proposal?


hmmm.....makes you wonder, huh?


1. If you're interested, then there's a Common Council meeting on Tuesday at 7:30pm regarding the resolution to authorize the sale of Washington Hose at 77 North Seventh Street, Hudson.

2. The WACKY RAFT RACES in Catskill is happening on Sunday!
Click on the link. It's Sunday morning, so don't get too drunk Saturday night....

3. Tomorrow, the Capital Disctrict Humane Association is doing a dog adoption clinic in Clifton Park, click here. (Thanks C. for the link!)