Friday, August 29, 2008

Should I date Andrew Amelinckx from the Register-Star?

A gay hot dog eating contest might be slightly different.

Did you read the Register-Star today? Cascades was very busy during lunch, I had some time...

Register-Star reporter, Andrew Amelinckx, WON the hot dog eating contest in Catham. He ate six and a half hot dogs in three minutes.

As a gay vegetarian, reading that a man can shove that much phallic food into his mouth, I found to be fascinating, sexy, and disgusting - all at the same time.

Since Andrew writes about Hudson, I figure, hey, we have some common interests, why not ask him out on a date?

I might have to wait until Sadie Hawkins Day, which, by wikipedia definition, is "on the Saturday that follows November 9. It is named after Sadie Hawkins, 'the homeliest gal in all them hills.' If a woman caught a man and dragged him back to the starting line by sundown, he had to marry her. "

That sounds perfect for me!

Andrew, watch out.

I don't know if Andrew is gay or straight, single or not, but, it's Hudson, and there's a lot of gray, in-between areas in this town....

Plus, Trixie has cash. Cash always helps, you know, "re-define" things...

Imagine me dating someone from the Register-Star? I would become Hudson's Mata Hare.

I'd have to dress like Meryl Streep in "French Lieutenant's Woman", as I walk down Warren Street with Andrew by my side - a cloak shielding my identity.


Also, in this hot dog eating contest, in his own age category, a ten-year-old won by eating three hot dogs in three minutes.

Three pages later, in the Register-Star, what do you think the editorial is about?


"Everyone must help reduce child obesity"

I'm not kidding.

After the front page article was about adults and children eating as many hot dogs as possible, the editorial is on child obesity.

The last line of the editorial is "We must not only encourage healthy eating habits, but lead by example."

What? Andrew? WTF?

Did the Register-Star write that editorial to offset the hot dog eating article or was it just the right hand not knowing what the left hand was doing?

Or, was it a joke?

I thought it was funny.

Anyway, Andrew Amelinckx, I am publicly inviting you to attend the next Trixie's Whorehouse party and the Bing Bamboo Room Burlesque show - as my date.

I might drag you back to the finish line before sundown. (Haha)

But, I'm gonna tell you something right now, Mr. Andrew - if we get married, I'm keeping my last name!

Trixie Starr


An Hour In the Kitchen said...

Oh Trixie, as Mr Amelinckx's wife, you have me quite nervous. Just what ARE the Sadie Hawkins rules? Can you really get my man by dragging him across the starting line on the Saturday that follows Nov 9th? Where IS the starting line? Jiminy Crickets! What's a gal to do? Maybe my freezer filled with cured meat products will keep that boy around. My fingers are crossed.

All the best-

Trixie said...

Shucks! You beat me to him!

I'm guessing that with those hot dog eating skills come other talents....

You are one lucky gal!

You are both invited to the Burlesque show next Saturday, the 6th!

No charge (and THAT is something I don't say very often....)


Hope you can make it.


An Hour In the Kitchen said...

Thanks for the invitation, Trixie. We'd love to come. Wait, this isn't a ploy is it? We'll take our chances. See you there.