This is the plan...
You stroll up and down Warren street from 6-8, freeze your ass off, and buy lots of stuff that you really don't need.
Let's keep this economy moving, folks!
Then, at 8pm, go get yourself something to eat.
Finish around 9:30, because that's when the doors open at Jason's for my party.
Bring a wig!
Hedda Lettuce is performing. Singing, dancing, satire, who knows? Really, it's going to be a fun night, a great evening out, and ONLY $25!! ($20 if you get the Reduced Admin card at the Five and Diamond).
It's cheap. Like me.
Now you don't have to schlep up to Awlbany or down to Manhattan to see a show. I bring talent to you! Right here, in little ol' Hudsonian Hudson. There's a party afterwards with DJ GIO!! and cheap decorations. You can get rip-roaring drunk - tip the bartender - and then stumble home, maybe with a little orally-fixated elf!
I'll give you a show and a party for $25. The blow job? You're on your own.
.......at least that's what my lawyers tell me to write.