FAGBUG in Hudson yesterday!

The Fagbug was in Hudson yesterday!

Thanks to Robert for snapping this photo of the bug in the lot next to the Red Dot!

If you want to learn what the bug's about, read about it here: FagBug.com

Elvis Festival, Gay Pride in New Paltz and a Buffet at Doubles II

What to do this weekend?

Too many options.

There's Gay Pride in New Paltz, an Elvis Festival in Lake George, and a buffet dinner in Catskill.

You think I'm making this up, right? Wrong.

I'm going to the Elvis Festival in Lake George...maybe more....why the fuck not?

(Click here for more Elvis info)

And I'm def at the full bar in Catskill.

-Trixie

Thanks to Harold & Chip for the email (below) and for promoting Trixie's Whorehouse - next party, Sat. June 7th!

****************************************************************


Over-the-Rainbow
(the gay & lesbian group of Greene County NY)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GreeneCountyRainbowGroup/

Saturday Night, May 31st, 7 PM

Last Sat-of-the-month

BUFFET DINNER

We missed last month, but we will have the Rainbow 'Last-Sat-of-the-Month" buffet this Saturday, May 31, 7 PM at:

DOUBLES II
Church & Water Streets
Catskill

NOW WITH FULL BAR!!!

(HELLO! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON THIS LIST!!! -- Trixie)

Menu

Pasta & Meat Dish
Baked Whitefish with Lemon
Vegetable Platter
dessert, coffee, tea

$15

IMPORTANT: Please RSVP to Chip12414@Yahoo.com so that DOUBLES II can plan how many to prepare for. Your cooperation is most appreciated.


Sunday, June 1:

Greene County will be represented by DOUBLES II and will feature a float in the Gay Pride March to be held in New Paltz (Thruway Exit 18).......



Gay Pride Parade 2008 Sunday, June 1
New Paltz, NY

Rally at 1PM at New Paltz Middle School
196 Main St, New Paltz
(Route 299)
The Parade steps off at 2PM
Festival at Hasbrouck Park from 3-6PM

New Paltz Pride Parade

Artists performing at the Rally and Festival include Chrissy Budzinski, Alisha Bell, Barnacle Bill, Annie Rorick, Robert German, Iabas Arte Brasil, Eric Redd's Band, Ubaka Hill, Andalusians and June Millington and Band, Nedra Johnson and Band, emcees Michelle DeDominicis and Jim the Freak will host.

A moment of silence at the Festival will remember members of the LGBTQ community lost during the past year.

Food, festivities & fun for the whole family!
AFTER-PARTY WITH PRIDE!

After the Festival, keep the party going at Joe's East West! Dance to the tunes of DJ John Martin and DJ +Captiv on the rooftop deck as well as DJ Dolce and DJ Iron Mike in the main room. Enjoy the sunset from the beautiful roof-top deck. Drag performances featuring local drag kings and queens including Shealita Baby, Kandi Kisses, and more.

18 and over to enter, 21 to drink. The Party starts at 6PM.
Discounted tickets to After-Party With Pride are available at the Festival.

The Hudson Valley LGBTQ Community Center is working to build tomorrows infinitely safer, saner and healthier than our yesterdays.

Get involved at

http://lgbtqcenter.org/get_involved.html

Hudson Valley LGBTQ Community Center
PO Box 3994
Kingston, NY 12402
http://lgbtqcenter.org

Ian Benardo

Oh. My. GAWD.

Bitch, I stole your purse!

"I'm a real ghetto bitch, not a funny fag hag."

"While you're wondering where your purse is, I be sucking your man's cock."

***************************************************
My dear old friend, Chicklet, came to visit me yesterday, and left me with a few youtube clips.

It's so wrong....but you can handle it!

...and hold onto your purse!

Trixie

Chasing Trixie Starr

True story....

Ya know, maybe it's me.

Maybe I'm pushy and stubborn.

Maybe.

I had to go to the bank today and sign a form, something that required my physical presence. Other than the parties, most of my world is virtual, which is how I like it, thank you.

How many times have you been disappointed meeting someone in person after reading their electronic profile? Sometimes, it's better to keep a safe electronic distance, and keep the fantasy alive.

Anyway, I'm at the nearest Chase branch, in Kingston this morning, and I asked the guy if I could sign the form.

"Well, we haven't had any training in this. Can you come back on Thursday?"

WHAT? No. I'm not coming back all the way to fucking Kingston on Thursday. No fucking way.

Deep breath.

"Um, is there someone you can call who would know? It's a schlep from Hudson to Kingston."

Smile, Trixie, smile.

"Let me see.."

He made a phone call and they found the form on the intranet and I signed it. Done. Pushy New Yorker wins. Then he asked me,

"If you want to make an appointment to talk to our investment adviser, I can set that up for you."

"Oh, well, I would have to drive back down?"

"Yes, or he can come to you."

"What? He'd come to Hudson?"

"Yes."

Ok....I almost fell out of my chair. Some guy, who only works in the office one day a week was willing to drive up to Hudson to give me financial advice for, really, not a lot of money...it's not like I qualify for Chase's Global Wealth Management department or anything...

Then, I'm thinking, I'm going to take investment advice from some guy who's job it is to drive to Hudson to see me? C'mon. If he really knew of any sound investments, he'd be at home, sitting by the hot tub with dancing girls feeding him grapes or a 25-year old hot Latino boy sucking him off. Or, both.

"That's OK," I said, "I'll just call on-line services and invest that way."

I'm sure their portfolio investments are all from a script, anyway. What's the guy going to do in Hudson? What's the advantage? He's going to come to my house, and say,

"Well, maybe you need to INVEST in some NATURAL-hair wigs, instead of all these polyester wigs you have in your living room."

Yeah, thanks.

ANYWAY, the main reason for this blog post is that the guy behind the counter at Chase said to me,

"Oh, Hudson? huh?"

I said, "...yes..." holding my breath, thinking, 'WHAT is he going to say about Hudson?'

He said, "that town has changed a lot since the people from the city started moving in. Fixing up all those houses, it's gotten better."

"Thanks. Yeah, it's changing."

And that's where I'm going to leave off today.....CHANGE!

CHANGE! CHANGE! CHANGE!

It's really the underlying issue, on so many levels.

I've always thought to embrace change, because that's just the way things are. Things change, people change, towns change. Like it or not, so you might as well go with it.

You either change and adapt, or you're left behind; economically, socially, politically....

Yeah, the furniture factory is closing this week. It's a shame. But, there's not much furniture being made in North Carolina anymore, let alone upstate New York! Whaddaya gonna do? Compete with China? Where they have no environmental laws and pennies labor?

The future upstate is not manufacturing, sorry. The future is a service-industry economy.....just try to get a contractor in Hudson to return your phone calls!!!

Learn a new skill, start a new career, open up a new business. It's never too late.

Change does require work. You may have to go back to school, or take a risk, or check yourself into rehab.

Babydoll, the sooner, the better.

Change is good.

....although I still plan on banking with Chase!

:)

Un-Drag Bake in Chatham

By the way, did I tell you?

I'm taking photos for InsideOut now. If you have an event that you would like me to cover, somewhere in the Hudson Valley, just email me.

Trixie@GayHudson.com

Here we go, true story.

I thought about covering the "UnShad Bake" in Chatham on Sunday. (Shad is a fish, which is now endangered - maybe too many Shad Bakes - so, it's now an UN-Shad Bake.)

I called and asked to cover it as press, mentioning that I would be in drag, as Trixie.

The first conversation went well....but then an hour later, I got a phone call from someone else.

"Due to our constituents, I would prefer that you not be in drag." I was told.

WELL!

All I'm going to say is that if you plan on going tomorrow, you might want to make sure you wear clothing that is appropriate to your gender.

We don't want to ruffle any feathers, do we?

Excuse me, but could you please wear a dress? Thank you.

"If you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun."
- Katherine Hepburn

I've thought about this, and frankly, I'm not going, press or otherwise.

Plus, I have a party to promote for Saturday, June 7th - where everyone is welcome to come and dress however the fuck you want!

$50 prize for best 80s outfit!

Love ya,

Trixie

I'll put on some silver

on the Hudson docks, this am

"Come on down to the Mermaid Cafe and I will buy you a bottle of wine
And we'll laugh and toast to nothing and smash our empty glasses down
Let's have a round for these freaks and these soldiers
A round for these friends of mine
Let's have another round for the bright red devil
Who keeps me in this tourist town

Come on, Carey, get out your cane
I'll put on some silver
Oh you're a mean old daddy, but I like you.
I like you. I like you. I like you."

--Joni Mitchell


People ask me, "How do you like living in Hudson full time?"

And I have to stop, because I'm afraid to say, "It's like being on vacation every day."

So far, so good.

It's a beautiful day, and it's going to be a beautiful weekend!

ENJOY!

THAT old house?

When she's not running a Bed and Breakfast in Hudson, or stripping in a burlesque show in Albany, my gal pal, MARLO, is out there saving Historic Hudson homes!

If you can help clean up the place, that'll be GREAT. Maybe later this week?

THANKS! Love you!

Trixie

Here's the "Missive from Marlo":

**************************************************************

Edie Beale..Are You In there??

Looking exhausted and breathing heavy after one "chicka-boom" of a burlesque performance at the Big Bamboo Room, Marlo is helping the dedicated folks at Historic Hudson with their third installment of their lecture series this Saturday the 24th, at The Plumb-Bronson House.

Featuring authors Rob J. Yasinsac and Thomas E. Rinaldi (Hudson Valley Ruins) the lecture is at 4pm with a reception following the lecture INSIDE the Plumb-Bronson House at 5pm. This is a rare opportunity kiddies as the PB House is located within (as Marlo always says) the prison "campus." (God Bless those girls from Brewster) .

Here's the deal..they need a little assistance sprucing up the joint before they open to the public this weekend. You know how it goes, "Clean-up, company's coming!" So, if any of you have time this Thursday or Friday the 22nd and 23rd they could use your help. An hour of your time and a broom is all they need. (a Swifter ain't gonna cut it...I haven't seen so many raccoon calling cards since Grey Gardens).


Speaking of Grey Gardens, make an event of it while you're sweeping! Show up on cleaning day in your best Edie get-up! Wrap your head in a bath towel from Wal-Mart with a giant pin at Fashion Bug and get on over there. It not only helps a great cause (No, not supporting Wal-Mart or Fashion Bug...helping Historic Hudson!) but you get to see the inside of the Plumb-Bronson House, one of the Hudson Valley's true architectural gems. With broom in hand you can re-create your favorite Edie moments; run around screaming for "mother" while battling cobwebs, sweep while doing a patriotic dance down the renowned Federal staircase, sing "People Will Say We're in Love" (with a laadie -dee thrown in when you don't know the words) while dusting those fabulous Davis mantels. Hey, a broom and a dust rag is the best way to get intimate with a building.

Seeing as there is very few boys in this town to get intimate with then the PB House might keep you off ManHunt for the weekend.

If interested in helping, call Marlo at 518.822.9229

**********************************

Marlo,
Is there WiFi at the house?
-Trixie

Oh Ward! Have you seen the Beaver?

NOT IN MY WARD!

It was a beautiful day in Hudson yesterday! Really.

First of all, who knew? There's a place in Hudson where you can buy meat, ravioli, and party decorations! I'll keep you guessing, but I went there yesterday while checking out the new site of the proposed adult entertainment zone in Hudson.

Currently, the Common Council is accepting comments from citizens regarding zoning of Hudson's adult entertainment district.

This is kind of a moot issue. It's not like there actually ARE any adult businesses trying to come to Hudson...topless or otherwise...but, you know...just in case anyone gets any ideas about opening up a tittie bar in the Hud, then at least they'll be a zone for it.

(Do you spell 'tittie' with an 'ie' or a 'y' ? Both fail my spellcheck.)

I was fully expecting the new adult zone to be a two foot by two foot square, somewhere, in a field, with just one lone stripper pole.

It's worth it to be an old stripper, the boob job and plastic surgery are all deductible. Which one is Madam? Can you tell?

The zone is in the 2nd Ward, down by the old refrigerator factory, I think. You know, near the contaminated land.

(I'm still trying to find the on-line documents.)

I feel for the people who spoke up from the second ward. Why is the new adult zone ONLY in their ward?

There are other industrial zones in Hudson, but you know, NIM-WARD. "Not In My Ward".

I have no issue with a adult bookstore in my ward....please, there are other issues to worry about North of Warren; drug-dealing, stabbings, bad garden fences....

A good adult store would be the only place to buy non-KY lube in Columbia County!! It's hard to find good lube anywhere between Kingston and Albany.
I think that if an adult store WAS to open in Hudson, it would quickly become another non-profit business and be off the tax roles!

Someone would find strippers with macramé bikinis; handwoven by migrant workers from Honduras....and there would be a documentary about it, and blah, blah, blah.

....and then our taxes would go up. Again.

yesterday on Warren Street

"LICK" OPENS TONIGHT! New Ice Cream Parlor in town!!

Hey Folks,

After the common council meeting, I say we go and get some ice cream! It's a beautiful day!

Trixie

***************************************************

LICK, a distinctive ice cream parlor with an innovative menu, will be opening its doors in Hudson this month. Proprietor and local resident, Michael Harris is committed to providing sweet-seekers in Hudson and beyond with creative presentations of premium ice cream, sundaes, shakes, sorbets, smoothies, espresso and cookies, in a warm, welcoming environment.

Harris, who grew up on a small farm in the Finger Lakes, is passionate about reclaiming the simplicity of his roots by offering the highest quality, natural products from sources as local as possible. In keeping with this vision, the fare at LICK represents a collaboration of some of the finest nearby suppliers available. LICK proudly features Jane’s Ice Cream homemade in small batches in the Hudson Valley. The milk for the milkshakes will be supplied by a local farm. The cookies are baked in Hudson. Harris also believes in helping to preserve our environment by using biodegradable paper products, spoons and straws from its take away location on Warren Street. “All our ingredients, from the cream to the sugar and fruit, will be the real thing, as will the hot fudge for our sundaes,” Harris says. “The berries for our seasonal compotes will come directly from the numerous fruit farms here in our region.”

Dedicated to delight in its myriad forms, Harris has designed an ingenious menu for every taste, from the traditional to the exotic. Among the ever changing, diverse flavors there are the traditional Strawberry and Butter Pecan as well as the more unusual “Killer Chocolate,” Cappuccino Kahlua, Salted Colossal Pistachio, Minced Ginger, and Bananas and Cookies for the kids. LICK will also offer an exceptional range of imaginative sundaes, from classic hot fudge to caramelized banana, crowned by LICK’s extensive selection of roasted nuts and local, hand whipped cream. Boysenberry, grapefruit and lemon sorbets, raspberry yogurt, custom ice-cream sandwiches with home baked cookies, milk shakes and 100% fruit smoothies are part of the evolving menu.

LICK will be open seven days a week, from noon to 10 p.m.

253 Warren Street

Hudson, N.Y. 12534

***************************************************

Hearing on Adult Entertainment Law TOMORROW night - Tuesday!

Stripper Poles for the people!

Tomorrow night, TUESDAY at 6:30, there will be a town meeting on the proposed Adult Entertainment Law in the city of Hudson, in City Hall.

You know I'll be there!

And if you want to know about other things, like, I don't know, the school board or something....(yawn)....then you can stay afterwards.

:)

Here's all the info you need on what's going on tomorrow night.

go to the Hudson Democrats website click here

Woo-hoo! This will be fun!

Trixie's Whorehouse on SATURDAYS!

Thank God DJ Lisa was taking some photos at the last party.

This is what we have from the May party.


The next party is on

SATURDAY

JUNE 7th!

It's going to be 80's night and it's Prince's Birthday and Lisa will be the DJ. It's going to be amazing.

I'll keep you posted!

Free Plant Give-Away Sunday 10am-Noon

Photos I took this morning, Sat, May 17th.

Kudos to Tom Koulos and Fred Martin!

They raised money to spruce up Promenade Hill park last year and this weekend they are going to replant the bed around the St. Winifred statue.

Promenade Hill park is spectacular. I always take visitors there and I always wonder why more people don't go.

Anyway...

Tomorrow, Sunday from 10am to noon, the daylillies, daffodils and dusty miller plants that are currently around the base will be given away. Just show up. Raindate is Sunday May 25.

And thanks to the Register-Star for covering this and letting people know!

Match Game Memorial Day Marathon

OMG....before I forget.

Forget if it's sunny out. Stay indoors on Memorial Day weekend. The Game Show Network is doing a Match Game Marathon.

Watch this:

Here's to Heterosexuals!

I am now a New York City landlord - "slumlord" as a friend corrected me.

My broker put the deal together and I only met my new tenants when I signed the lease - I had to sign in the landlord blank!

I met the couple, both young professionals, in suits; and yes, they are heterosexuals!

Why not gay boys, Trixie, you ask?

Well, number one, it is illegal to discriminate on the basis on sexual orientation, in any direction, and I was happy to hear that it was a straight couple, because, well...gay boys aren't known for paying their bills on time.

Hello.

So, here's to a young straight couple, who have goals of building a life and credit rating together!

Isn't that part of what this whole marriage thing is about? Now, gay people also are realizing their long term goals? Doing it all as a couple requires a level of commitment.

I have to admit, I've taken all of my financial advice from heterosexuals....not gay boys. Again, hello.

I've worked for the past sixteen years on Wall Street, in finance, doing grunt work and building systems...and I'm used to being the only gay person in the office. Sometimes, I've been the only gay person that my co-workers have ever really known.

...that's scary, I know.

About eight years ago, when my co-workers were buying houses, I said to myself, "Well, they're buying houses, and I make the same money....hmmm."

So, I bought a condo. Why not?

I've always thought, "If straight people can do it, why can't I?"

(Which also brings us back to the marriage issue.)

Last month, when I resigned, I was amazed by the amount of support I got from my finance co-workers. They understood. They understood risk and change, and that risk can be planned and calculated, and really, it's the only way to live life.

Otherwise, like we say on Wall Street, "Low risk, low yield."

Now, when I give my 20-something gay boy friends advice, I tell them:

1. ALWAYS safe sex. Always.
2. Try not to have any addictions.
3. BUY REAL ESTATE! The sooner the better!

Hey, someone's gotta give these young'uns some advice.

They may not be as fortunate as I've been to have hard-working heteros as role models.

Or, I guess I could have listened to Aunt Ida:

Parking for Edith Massey

Edith Massey

Fuck Julia Roberts.

And Meryl Streep, who the hell does she think she is, anyway?

No one can deliver a line like Edith Massey.

I was walking down Warren Street today when I saw a little sign in a window,

"Parking for Edith Casey"

And I thought, "Who is Edith Casey? And why does she need so much parking?"

Why not Edith Massey?

For those of you who are not familiar with Edith, she was a born actress. She didn't need a day of acting school!

John Waters discovered her running a thrift store in Baltimore. He tells the story of how she would have plastic bags, stapled shut, as a "surprise" for her clientèle. For 25 cents, you could buy the bag and see what's inside. Sometimes, you would find a nice scarf, or a pair of gloves. But, sometimes, you would find Edith's garbage; used q-tips, tissues, trash.

She would say, "You win some, you lose some."

Edith, the actress, was known for such great lines as:

"Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!"
"The world of a heterosexual is a sick and boring life."
"I don't want any god-damned eggs! I want meat and potatoes!"

There is just way too much on youtube.com for me to give it to you all at once, so, maybe we'll make this John Water's week here at GayHudson.com.

Why not? Maybe a John Water's festival?

Granted, we're Hudson, not Baltimore....

We can only HOPE to be Baltimore.

Get Plugged In!!

Hey Hudson,

Ok, so this is what you have to do on Saturday night....there's an opening party of the Plugged In festival.

There are a bunch of local artists presenting, including my good friend, GIO!!!

Click here for more info, but go to the party Saturday evening.

Sat, May 17th 6-10 pm
330 336 Warren St - it's that small, white square building

But, you should go. Why not, if it's a nice day.

Even if it's a little rainy, you won't melt.

Well, maybe some of you will...

Notice I did not use a BUTT PLUG reference to PLUG the PLUGGED IN event.

See?

OK, here you go....I couldn't resist...

We're gonna get married!

The California supreme court just struck down the ban on same sex marriage!

Here we go, folks!

HOLD ON!

Read the article here

Now, I just have to work on getting a date in this town, then maybe I can get married at some point.

You're my X BF 4 EVA

Kelly is my inspiration.

The club scene is very much like Trixie's Whorehouse, no?

Get the fuckin' camera out, Trixie!!

Trixie's Whorehouse - May 2008

Still searching for photos from this past party. Here are a few, kinda. Everyone was there. Erika and Halston. Abel and Andy. Lisa and Liza.



The next party is on SATURDAY - YES, SATURDAY, JUNE 7th! It's Prince's birthday and DJ LISA will be spinning!

Thank you to everyone who came and ate Trixie's Candy!


The Charmed and Dangerous crew were AMAZING! So sexy. We love them! Thank you for making it a great night.

There were two women who got engaged at last week's Trixie's Whorehouse.

It was very special. Thank you, gals. I hope you have a lifetime of happiness together.

Gio and I are glad that we can create a space where people feel comfortable, and have a good time; gay, straight, in between...

Thank you.

Trixie

A letter from a "fan"

Trixie has an admirer.

"Admirer" is a euphemism for "freak who has nothing else better to do."

Totally true, here's an email I've received.

I HAD TO EDIT IT!!! It was too much for ME to post!

Just think about how dirty the un-edited version is.

.....yes, just THINK about it!

heehee..

Read at your own RISK....I warned you.

**********************************************************

Trixie,

I am very handsome, in great shape, very strong for my size, no fat! lol. I have a very young looking face and body for my age, and I have a nice sexy firm butt. Am a virgin. I have a high sex drive, great kisser, nice full sexy lips to please you. I have very strong sensual hands that will give you the best foot, legs, c**k and butt massage you ever had!

I can be your perfect sex slave, pleasing all your sexual desires! I have a huge fetish for your feet, legs, c**k and butt covered in black, dark blue or red sheer to the waist pantyhose/tights or body stockings, with no panties on! just the sheer hose on you drives me crazy to please you!

And the highest heels you have, with any pleated or loose fitting short sexy skirt on you!! I love to role play, like you play the bully school girl in this outfit, and push me to the floor onto my back, as you sit on my chest, and kneel onto my arms so I cannot move as you shove and grind your hose into my face, making me kiss and suck the sheer hose!

Want to be your sex slave to please you!!!

D. xxx

*****************************************************************

I know, I have to be careful what I ask for....I know, I know...

:)

I deleted like a third of it....sheesh! And I thought I had a potty mouth!

He also wrote how he wanted to rip holes in my panties.

Dude, what the fuck? You think nylons are cheap? And I'm not wearing the expensive fish nets for your nastiness.

I hope you plan on going to Walmart ahead of time to replace my Control-Top, Tummy-Control pantyhose.

Should I just fuck him? He's a virgin, how often do you get THAT opportunity?

;)

There are no virgins left in this town, dammit.

Negro Street Lights?

I was walking down Warren Street last week, noticed the above, and thought, 'Negro Street Lights? That's awfully un-PC. Wouldn't it be African-American Street Lights by now?'

Then, I'm like, wait.....what does that even MEAN?

Then, the (street) bulb went off....'OH. It's National Grid!'

Got it. Duh.

Anyway, did you catch the story in the Register-Star this past weekend, four people were arrested for PLANNING to rob the Pizza Hut!

They didn't actually rob it, they just PLANNED on robbing it.

It was an inside job, and someone tipped the police off. One person was going to leave the safe open, one person was going to leave the back door open....

Bonnie was out there waiting on Fairview.....

Waiting outside the Pizza Hut in Greenport.

Or, something like that.

But, could you imagine getting arrested for every time you planned or maybe THOUGHT of doing something illegal?

'nuff said.

.....ANYWAY......

The party on Friday was totally fabulous.....I'm still trying to hunt down some photos. I always bring my camera, thinking, "Trixie, take some photos this time."

And then I have a cosmo in one hand, my purse in another, I'm handing out Trixie's Candy to people, and I have to stop the boys from going under my skirt!!

MASHER! MASHER!! Police!

You can take the girl out of Long Island, but....

Where are the police when I need them?

I need to police to help stop these boys trying to COP a feel!

haha.

Ok....I'm done now.

I think I'll leave you on that note while I try to beg and plead to get some party photos.

HAPPY MONDAY HUDSON!

(How about Jason's tonight? Erika's bartending. Plus, what the fuck else are you doing?)

:)

PARTY TONIGHT!!!

Hi --

I'm sitting here, at the computer, and I started writing this long-ass blog post about Yolanda Vega, the NYS lottery announcer, who will be the next Grand Marshall on Flag Day in Hudson, and I'm somehow able to tie the story it into a porn convention in Vegas, and then I'm thinking...

Shit. I don't have time for this Lotto story. I got a lot of work to do today, there's a party tonight.

A gurl has to prepare.

And you know me, there's SO MUCH preparation that I put into getting into drag.

Go to the show and party tonight. Get there around 8:30. Sign up on the guestlist if you haven't already. The guestlist gets you $5 off the PARTY - not the show....sorry...we're working girls, ya know?

What else?

Nothing.

In the new Speed Racer movie, the Chrisina Ricci character is called, "Trixie".

Good name.

:)

Ladies, Keep Your Man in LINE!

Every now and then, people ask me,

"Miss Trixie, how do you find enough stuff to write about?"

Please, in THIS town?

Well, when the Mr. Ding-A-Ling ice cream truck isn't clang-clang-clanging outside my window, and I'm at a loss for words (which doesn't happen that often), I just open up the Register-Star, and there's more than enough material!

Like today....

Mr. Cross is on the front page today, in an orange jump suit.

It is so difficult to see such a fine-looking, young man like that in such awful fashion! It pains me on so many levels.

You tell Mr. Cross, that when he's done, email Miss Trixie. I have a couple of ideas.

;)

First of all, we need to find you a good, strong woman to keep your ass in LINE!

Miss Trixie's Charm School for Gurls

Ladies, (and I mean "ladies" of BOTH genders), don't put up with any shit from any man!

The women of ancient Greece knew their power. When they were tired of having their men go off to war, they said,

"Listen boys, no pussy until there's peace!"

And by pussy, I means, ALL TYPES of pussy...Girl-pussy, boy-pussy, gurl-pussy; it doesn't matter.

If all ladies got together and said, "No more pussy until the troops come home from Iraq", babydoll, the war would be over TOMORROW!

Because PUSSY is more powerful than OIL! Trust me.

Men will do anything for it; lie, cheat, steal. Some may even be upstanding citizens for pussy!

Even men who have money and power are chasing pussy. They can't get enough. Just ask Ms. Spitzer.

Another one that needed to be kept in LINE!

If your man is a DOG (and that's such a bad term, because my dog is more faithful than most men I know...), then sometimes you have to let him go and let him taste all the bad pussy that's out there.

When he's finished eating bad, gutter, trashy, smells-like-cigarette-smoke pussy, and if he LEARNED his lesson (not many learn), then he can call you.

Not before.

Together, ladies, we can change the world.

Join me.

Cinco di Mayo

What a better way to celebrate Latino culture than sitting around a big house on Warren Street and watching Googie Gomez sing!

Thanks to the fabulous B. for pointing out this fabulous clip!

Can you guess the performer?

And a big THANK YOU to our lovely and charming hosts!

(I guess you could also celebrate Cinco di Mayo with a good cock-fighting contest. This card-carrying PETA member only endorses one type, though...)

Also, on Monday nights, run up to Jason's for your fav tunes by DJ's Abel and Lisa and the glamorous bartender, Erika.

Erika looks better in a skirt than I do....BUT ONLY BY A LITTLE BIT!!!

:)

Can I tell you, right now, as I write this blog, and look out my window, the ice cream truck passed by.

It's called, "Mr. Ding-a-Ling".

True. I kid you not.

I'm going to have so much fun with that this summer.....

Some stuff, I don't even have to make up.

Anything you want, Mistress

Trixie's in town.

"You were such a good little pussy-boy last night."

"Thank you, Mistress."

"You were very well-behaved at the F. Collective opening."

"Thank you, Mistress."

"And you were very good at the Red Dot afterwards."

"Thank you, Mistress."

"I like it when you sit in the corner and not talk to anyone."

"Yes, Mistress."

"And pay the bill."

"Yes, Mistress. I'm happy to do that, Mistress."

"What are you doing THIS week, pussy-boy?"

"I'm going to Jason's on Monday night, Mistress."

"Yes. Good."

"There's an after-work party and it's going to be fun, Mistress."

"Yes. And what else are you doing this week?"



"On Tuesday night is the film at the Red Dot, Mistress."

"Good. You're learning. What else?"

"Friday is YOUR party, Mistress."


"Yes. And what times does that start?"

"8:30 pm, Mistress."

SMACK!!!

"Wrong! What time does it start, pussy-boy!?!"

"9 pm! 9 pm! Mistress. The Burlesque Show with Charmed and Dangerous is at 9PM, but people should get there around 8:30. I'm so sorry, Mistress. I forgot. Please, please, please, I'm so sorry. Don't be upset with me, Mistress."

"Fine. What else?"

"It's $15 at the door for the show and the Trixie's Whorehouse party afterwards. Or, they can come just to the party at 10:30, and it's only $10. $5 if they have a Reduced Admission card, or if they're on the list. Reduced Admission is only for the party, not the show, Mistress."

"That's right. You're a good little pussy-boy today, aren't you?"

"Yes, Mistress. Anything you want, Mistress. I only want to please you, Mistress."

"Good. What else?"

"That's it, Mistress. That's all I know, Mistress. Mistress, I know that I am not worthy, but please, please let me service you. I will worship you. I promise to do whatever you want, Mistress."

"hmmm.....go upstairs, get ready and wait, pussy-boy. I have to return a couple of things at Target in Kingston, but maybe when I get back, I'll see you."

"Thank you, Mistress. I will be upstairs waiting for you, Mistress. I've kept all your receipts for you, Mistress. They're right here, Mistress."

"You're such a good little pussy-boy. Every girl should have one just like you."

"Thank you, Mistress."

Jake Deckard

Jake Deckard

BTW, I forgot....

Saturday's art opening at F. Collective featured photos of gay porn star Jake Deckard, who works mostly with Raging Stallion Studios.

I was able to find a few clips of Jake, if you're interested.

CLICK HERE

I'm looking out for you, Gay Hudson!

:)

A Tree Grows North of Warren

Spinster Trixie Starr in Hudson, year 2048

I know what you're thinking....

You're thinking, "Trixie, where have you been? Where is your sardonic wit and rhythm? There's no depth, there's no meaning. Where's the love?"

Leave me alone, I've been busy! It's NOT because there's a man. No. It couldn't be that...

Trixie moved to Hudson FULL TIME this week.

I know....it's like...

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

It's both wonderful and scary at the same time.

I see myself, forty years from now, on-line at the SUPER MEGA WALMART which will BE Warren Street; waiting with a package of Depends in one hand and some cat food in the other.

Belted? For her pleasure?

The young girls behind me will whisper,

"Look, you see that old lady? That's Trixie Starr."

"NO! That old shriveled up hag is Trixie Starr?"

"Yes. When she came to Hudson, she was in the prime of her life; parties, art openings, gogo boys, $10 cover at the door...."

"Wow. But, then what happened?"

"Well....after a few years in Hudson, it all went downhill. Booze. Pills. Domino's late night deliveries.... The bitterness set in. And before you knew it, she became the old spinster lady with all the cats."

"Wow. That's SO Grey Gardens."

My future, just without the fur coat.

The day I moved in, they, someone, some government grant money or something, planted a tree in front of my house. I think my tax dollars paid for the guys to dig the hole. I don't know, whatever. Now, there's a tree, and it's pretty.

I'm taking it as a sign, a good sign. Although, many Hudson residents are anti-tree. I don't understand. It's not like there are that many hurricanes in upstate New York...

We're not in Miami, if you need me to remind you of that.

Anyway, today, true story, I was out planting some flowers, a neighbor stopped me and said,

"That's really nice."

"What?"

"Those flowers."

"Oh, thanks. And see, they planted a tree."

He turned around.

"Wow. That's great!" he said, "There's some life back here. That's really wonderful! God bless you."

His face lit up, and he smiled. He was so happy.

So, maybe there is some hope.

We'll see.

Hold onto your seats, Hudson....