Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Hudson's Dogs

Me and my dog.


The DogsofHudson.com promotional campaign is everywhere!

You would think that DogsofHudson.com would be the new gay Hudson hook-up site, but it's not. Well, not yet. (They should remember to renew their domain name every year or else Trixie Starr might pick it up!)

They have a flier at the gym.

Me at the gym


The flier said that dogs in Hudson can't order crepes from Le Gamin.

Well, you haven't met MY dog, have you? She calls in her order to Le Gamin, and they deliver it on a tray.

My dog and I have a deal -- whenever we go out to eat together, she gets the meat, I get the rest. For instance, if we visit Kennedy's Fried Chicken, she gets the boneless chicken breast, $1.75. I get the sweet potato pie, $1.50. It works.

Yes, some of us Hudsonians have PETS, and we like it that way - less tuition, less therapy!

And less school tax.

Hello.

One of the suggestions for your dog on the new DogsofHudson.com flier is:
  • drop some kibble into an empty plastic soda bottle and leave the top off. He'll get to toss the bottle around to make the food come out.
I think it's a great idea!

Why do we, as a society, think this is an acceptable form of exercise for our dog, but, God forbid, I suggest a similar tactic for your obese child!

Put their food into a plastic ball or something and roll it down the alleyway. Make them run for it! They'll burn a few hundred calories right before dinner, more if it's freezing cold outside.

Do you want THIS for your child?

Like everything in life, you'll only appreciate it if you have to work for it.

For instance, with some people, sex comes easily. Now, I keep a nice, hot, uncut Latino boy in a cage in my basement.

I got him at Walmart, or maybe it was Big Lots.
Family Dollar? Aldi?
I forget.

Why sell only goods manufactured by people from third world countries, why not sell the people themselves?

He was marked down.

Nowadays, more people are keeping their sex partners hostage, it's a trend.

Oh, babydoll, what happened?
This should be a lesson to all you pretty queens!
You're pretty now, and boys let you get away with shit, but see what can happen...


Where was I?

Oh yes....the uncut Latino boy in a cage in the basement...that's right...

Every now and then I let him out, and make him run around the house. I chase him down before I have sex with him. It burns calories.

If you ever see a drag queen chasing a naked Latino boy down the streets of Hudson, that's probably me. He got out. Although, it could be someone else.

You see it so often now in Hudson, no one says anything, or even bothers to look.

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