Thursday, March 5, 2009

Let a Merman Song be Your Umbrella!

A friend had a recent facebook status:

"Debbie has nothing to live for."

Luckily, all those years of working the suicide hotline, Trixie knows a cry for help when she hears one!

(They have since replaced the suicide hotline workers with an automated service. Just as well, it was a downer.)

I immediately responded with some sage advice.

"You need a good Merman tune! Everything's Coming up Roses! Put it on. Sing it now!"

It always works. Guaranteed.

Feeling glum? Economy got you down?

Get yourself a good Merman tune. Turn it up full blast! Don't worry about the neighbors. You have horsehair plaster walls, no one can hear it anyway!

Sing along!

I know what you're thinking...

Trixie, it won't help.

Just try!

Try putting out a little positive energy and stop taking yourself so damn seriously! Get out of your head for just a few minutes, and take a look around you!

Got no diamond, got no pearl,
Still I think I'm a lucky girl.
I've got the sun in the morning
And the moon at night.
Got no mansion, got no yacht,
Still I'm happy with what I got.
I've got the sun in the morning
And the moon at night.

Even the Merm didn't take herself too seriously..


Trixie said...

ok, I stole the suicide hotline joke from Reno 911.

Anonymous said...

With a million neon rainbows burning below me,
And a million blazing taxis raising a roar,
Here I sit, above the town,
In my pet-paillated gown,
Down in the depths
Of the ninetieth floor.

While the crowds in all the nightclubs punish the parquet,
And the bars are packed with couples calling for more,
I'm deserted and depressed
In my regal-eagle nest,
Down in the depths
Of the ninetieth floor.

When the only one you wanted wants another,
What's the use of swank and cash in the bank galore?
Why, even the janitor's wife
Has a perfectly good love life,
And here I am, facing tomorrow,
Alone in my sorrow,
Down in the depths
Of the ninetieth floor