Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Fairview Pizza Hut All-You-Can-Eat Lunch Buffet

The all-you-can-eat Pizza Hut lunch buffet on Fairview is a little known secret in town.

You can eat all the cheap pizza you want, and a diet coke (of course) for under $10. Mon thru Fri.

The extra "secret" is that they will also give you all the salad you want! But, you have to ASK for the salad, since they don't have enough room on the buffet, and they don't tell anyone. It's Hudson's "Salad Speakeasy" - say the right thing, get a salad.


Don't say I never do anything for you.

Let me tell you when Pizza Hut calls ME.

Let's say you go out on a date, right? And he's a nice guy, kinda cute, kinda not cute....

It's a so-so date....he's not that charming. But, he did show up, and looks clean and fits the picture description....and he has a job.

You think to yourself, 'Hey, what the heck? I'd see him again.'

So, you try to be upbeat and positive, and send him an email the next day saying you had a good time, and you tell him he's cute, and let's get together again....and he responds,

"Um.....I just didn't get butterflies in my stomach from you, but we can be friends."

Then you think to yourself, 'Friends? I don't want to be your fucking friend. I have enough friends. The only thing that makes you even a little interesting is the possibility of seeing the top of your head while you're sucking my dick! And butterflies? Listen, Cinderella, I hope you find your Prince Charming Party Boy who'll give you ALL the butterflies and drama you're looking for. Take it easy, fella!'

That's the email you write, but then save under Drafts and never send. It's just not worth it.

And then you say to yourself, did I just get dumped by a middle-aged gay man who still lives with his mother?

Yes, I did.

THAT is when you go to the Pizza Hut all-you-can-eat lunch buffet and pretend that everything is fine.


Love ya!

Oh Larry, let me guess what this building was before....


Anonymous said...

I love you Trixie,
You just made my day.

Trixie said...

Thank you!

Some blog posts you write, but never publish....I wasn't sure.

Anonymous said...

Is it in Hudson or Greenport?

Anonymous said...

i've seen the all-you-can-eat-pizza-hut-lunch-buffet ads on tv and thought... oh, if only we had that in hudson, er, well in greenport. cause pizza hut always looks closed at lunch time. hmm.. well I'm definitely going to check it out. and if you're there, i'll suck your dick in the bathroom in gratitude. butterflies or no.

thanks for keeping us informed about the things that matter.

Trixie said...

Aw, that's so sweet.

Who said that you can't find love on the internet!!


(Yes, it's open. It's usually just me and a couple of DPW workers. Have fun!)

Thank you so much