Thursday, July 16, 2009

Stewart's Potato Salad

True Story. Verbatim.

I had a carb craving last night.

It's 11pm, and I drove down to Stewart's on Fairview and Greene to get a small container of potato salad.

(Three years ago, I wouldn't have even eaten mayonnaise, but now after living in Hudson, it's like, 'Live a little, Trix'.)


I'm in there, I grab the container, and there's some young guy behind the counter and some other young guy customer, and there's some minor altercation. No big whoop. I'm too concerned with the amount of calories in the potato salad and trying to find a small bag of BAKED Lays potato chips and a diet coke.

I mean, I couldn't eat FRIED potato chips at 11pm, no.....that's too much....too crazy.

Baked chips....small bag...I have limits.

Anyway, the other guy leaves and it's just me and the counter clerk, who looks like he's 23, maybe...

As I'm paying for my carbs, he says to me,

"I'd lose my job."

"What?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"That guy - he wanted to buy cigarettes."


"And he didn't have an ID. I mean, I'd lose my job and get fined $5,000."

"Oh, really? hmmm...So, you have to check everyone's ID before they buy cigarettes?"

"No, only if they look under 30. Like, for instance, if YOU wanted to buy cigarettes, I wouldn't ID you."

"Oh. Thanks."

"Dude, I didn't mean it that way, it's not like you're forty or something."

I turned, gave a Bea Arthur stare, and walked away....

I'm going to see my hair colorist tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

Lesbians 60 and over are invited to be a part of our Hudson Valley chapter of Old Lesbians Organizing for Change (OLOC) which regularly meets on the first Friday of each month from 6:30-9:00 pm at the Hudson Valley LGBTQ Center starting with a potluck.

Please join us for a potluck picnic and swim party at member Bonnie Wagner's home in Woodstock on Saturday, August 8th at 1:00 pm. For info and directions, contact Bonnie Wagner at

Trixie said...

What does a lesbian pot luck have to do with Stewart's Potato Salad?

Or, is it all the same thing?

Anonymous said...

UlsterCorps and Jewish Family Services have selected the Hudson Valley LGBTQ Center to be sure to include our community in The Living History Project. They are seeking stories and history of gay elders just like you. Those willing will have their conversations uploaded to the UlsterCorps website and thus begin to build a Virtual Archive of Ulster County’s Living History.

Elders who wish to participate are asked to bring an old photograph or keepsake to start the conversation. You can also bring your own interviewer. Register for an interview time slot before July 20. To register, or obtain further details, please contact the Center by email at, or phone 845-331-5300.

Trixie said...

What does ANY of this have to do with potato salad?

Anonymous said...

Sage Upstate is a not-for-profit organization that promotes the health and well being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning people in Central New York as they age. We provide health and wellness programming, support groups, social activities, and education for health care providers about the needs of older LGBTQ people.

The Sage Upstate Center is located in Syracuse in the First English Lutheran Church at 501 James Street, corner of Townsend and James. Programming is held in the Center most nights during the week, including Friday night socials, health and wellness programs, bingo, member-led classes, and support groups. The Center also offers computer and internet access, and a lending library with 1,300+ LGBTQ-themed titles.

Sage Upstate's Buddy Program is designed to combat the isolation that is prevalent in the LGBT aging community by assisting members in helping each other with a unique four part program. Members can stay connected with other members through our Buddy Updates, get assistance with short term needs from our Buddy Helpers, pair up with other members for daily check in calls as Check-In Buddies, or participate in the Buddy Visitors piece of the program, which connects isolated or homebound seniors with volunteer visitors for regular social visits.

Anyone can be a part of Sage's Buddy Program. If you or someone you know is in need of services through the Buddy Program we want to get you connected. Contact Carrie Elliott at 315-478-1923 for assistance.

Louie Monkey-Pest said...

I think anonymous is the clerk from Stewarts getting back at you.

Anonymous said...

I don't think Bea Arthur was a dyke or a drag queen, but she was old.

Trixie said...

Thank you for that last comment, so profound.

I was so moved by it, I turned it into a haiku:

Bea Arthur was not
a drag queen, she was not a
dyke, but she was old.

Anonymous said...

What does ANY of this have to do with Stewart's potato salad?

Anonymous said...

What does this have to do with Maude Findlay?

Trixie said...

What does any of this have to do with Mrs. Naugatuck?

Anonymous said...

Is Bee ARthur still dead?

Anonymous said...

shes a BEEYOTCH you can tell

Anonymous said...

At least he didn't think you looked 40. ;) Look on the bright side! And because of this the old lesbians have decided to let you in their new gang! Yay old lesbians for change!

Anonymous said...

Bea Arthur is such a great drag inspiration, truly genderbending - great choice!

Anonymous said...

Jessica Tandy's hair looks terrible here, I wouldn't get your hair dyed to match. But maybe it's just a wig - maybe you should just get a new wig. And I don't think she's a lesbian, she's just crazy old.

Anonymous said...

The gray hair flatters her. Bravo to a woman who celebrates her age!