Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Cute Cop Hired by Hudson Police Department...

Did you read the Register-Star today? The Hudson Police Department just hired a new cute cop! A twenty-three year old hottie!

I don't know how this is going to impact crime in town.

I think that more people will purposefully do things wrong just to get arrested. They need to hire unattractive police officers.

I think you'll find more and more people walking around town with cocaine-filled balloons shoved up their wazoos just for the opportunity to get a cavity search.

(I use the term, 'wazoo', specifically, because it is gender-neutral. I'm talking male wazoo...and both female wazoos.....the plural of wazoo is sometimes 'wazii' - its Latin.)

The cocaine-balloon-wazoo smuggling trade is HUGE in Hudson! No one knows. Tons of cocaine are regularly put in balloons and shoved up wazoos daily to cross the border from South of Warren to North of Warren. People could just walk or drive it over, but what fun would THAT be?

Cocaine-balloon-wazoo smuggling is so big in Hudson, it has become an art form. These artists in town just take over everything...and of course (again) this year's cocaine balloon animal is a DOG. People are still complaining...

You don't have to do anything illegal, actually. You could just take a balloon and fill it up with baking powder and shove it up your wazoo.

When the police do a search and find it on you, they'll probably ask,

"Why are you carrying around baking powder in a balloon in your ass?"

Just look at them, point blank, and say,

"For my muffins."

Love ya,

This is how I would combat crime.

1 comment:

Louie Monkey-Pest said...

I'm not saying his name, but it does rhyme with "geyser".