Friday, August 7, 2009

Stuck in Woodstock for an Afternoon

Just hightlight this, get the bigger version, print it out, and bring it to the party.
I'm not going to Staples again to make more copies....forget it.

OMG, I'm stuck in Woodstock and I can't stand it!

I misread the yoga class schedule and now I have two hours to kill in Woodstock. Lord help me.

There's nothing but a bunch of fucking hippies in this town doing psychic readings for your pets!

Hippies are welcome at my party, long as they have cash!

There's all this FREE shit in Woodstock - FREE love, FREE spirit, nothing but socialism! I can't wait until my yoga class starts.

Well, my yoga class ain't free....neither was this cup of coffee....and every wifi network is locked, so I guess that isn't very free either!

All these tie-dye T-shirts aren't free.....two for $ many could you possibly want in your wardrobe? Really?

Let me tell you what's also NOT free - admission to Trixie's Whorehouse! It's ten bucks...five if you print out the card above and bring it. If you can't do that, then yes, you deserve to pay five dollars more.


If you don't have five bucks, then you can take your poor ass dancing here in the middle of the street in Woodstock, where I'm sure some commie hippie will take pity (boo-hoo) and invite you into his hippie commune.

He'll probably want to fuck you since he hasn't had sex since his last shower two years ago. Watch out, he'll give you some bad LSD and before you know it, you're getting hippie-gang-banged in a macrame sling made out of hemp.

Trust me, nothing is really free.

Thank G-d I live in Hudson where people understand a girl's gotta make a living! I got bills to pay!

You'll find FREE condoms at Trixie's only because I want people to stop having kids and sending them to Hudson City schools. I consider the free condoms as a way to keep my taxes down.

Can a capitalist survive in upstate New York?


Love ya,


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