Saturday, October 24, 2009
New "Haunted House" Tour
People don't listen to me, that's the problem.
I have TONS of excellent marketing advice, but no one follows it. I don't know why.
For instance, when I tell people that Hudson needs more Halloween events, I get a yawn.
They think this town is scary enough.
I say NO! We need to capitalize on it, market it. Make Hudson a major Halloween destination!
The city owns enough old houses, why fix them up? Put them all on a big haunted house tour! Then, you pay people a few bucks to put on a mask, jump out of corners, and scare tourists.
I'd do it.
BUT, if you really want to SCARE tourists, then you could give them a tour of a house and let them know the actual, REAL cost to fix it up and make it livable.
You see! Another brilliant idea! I have so many!
I'll start my own Hudson real estate company. All of my brokers will wear evil clown costumes. They'll take people on tours of Hudson houses, and "scare" them by telling them the TRUTH. We won't sell any houses, but we'll charge people for the tour.
"You see, it's water damage. It's going to cost you THOUSANDS of dollars before you even find out WHERE the water is coming from. Then, you'll find your walls are rotted, and you're going to have to replace everything! Wooooooooooo!"
"You think your taxes are high? Well, wait until you find out that your neighbor, who has a house three times the size as yours is actually paying less than half of what you do in taxes! They're under-assessed, and there's nothing you can do about it! Hahahaha!"
"Yes, it's a perfect little fixer-upper, right? You think you and your partner can do it? A little project? Well, it will bankrupt you and destroy your relationship! HAHAHA! You'll fight about it constantly. You won't have sex for YEARS and you'll become alcoholics!!!"
You see? I'm already frightened.
I'll call it the "Buyer Beware House Tour".
Or, maybe we should just have more pumpkin carving nights and hay rides.