Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Remember the "Hudson Brothers"?







Genealogists Uncover Al Sharpton-Strom Thurmond Connection

One of Al Sharpton's relatives was a slave under Strom Thurmond's family.

What people DON'T realize are all the OTHER connections that are out there.....


Britney Spears' grandmother was a diner waitress, yelled at by Ethel Merman:



Courtney Love's great aunt was the drug-runner for Judy Garland.



The list goes on and on, folks......

Does anyone have any other connections?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Is this MY fictional character, 'Fred'?

Hi --

Someone sent me this, was this MY character who got fired from the antique store?

.......sigh.......


"See... THIS is what happens when you fire your fictional characters from Warren Street!!!"


Alleged knife-wielding Pizza Hut bandit arraigned
By Andrew Amelinckx

Hudson-Catskill Newspapers

GREENPORT -- Andrew, 22, was arraigned at Greenport Town Court Monday evening for his alleged knife-point robbery of the Pizza Hut on Fairview Avenue in Greenport.

The alleged crime occurred on the night of Feb. 17, when a man in a dark hooded sweatshirt entered the establishment around 10:25 p.m. He pulled out a 12-inch butcher knife and threatened the employees with it, demanding they open the safe. Andrew allegedly made off with $120.

Hudson's First Annual Anal Health Fair


I love Hudson. And I love it just the way it is.

Right now, I think Hudson is cutting edge....it's like being at CBGB's while Blondie was waitressing and DeeDee Ramone was giving blow jobs in the bathroom.

We need to steer Hudson in the direction that WE want to take it. And not let Hudson become too lah-di-fucking-dah. Ya know what I mean?

For instance, my friend tells a story of how he was at the Dot and a charming elder British couple was talking about how enchanted they were about our lovely city and the Victorian blah blah blahs....wouldn't it be just smashing to own a home in Hudson...

Then, a Hudsonite began to tell his story of how HE gave the best blow jobs.....rather loudly...

"I give the best blow jobs, because I start all the way at the asshole and work my way up."

...smashing...

Well, the British couple just sat quietly for the rest of the evening and finished their stew.

Now, I'm not saying that we have to SCARE all the new comers....well, ok, yes, we do, but just a little bit...

For instance, let's start the annual "Hudson City Anal Health Fair".

The slogan? "The Fleet's come back to Hudson!"

It's a fabulous idea, everyone has an anus; gay, straight, bi, black, and white. You know the straight men will be on board if we hand out pamphlets,

"How to Get Your Wife/Girlfriend to Take it Up the Ass."


It would be the first event organized by Hudson B.O.O.B., the Bottom Owned and Operated Business group - that was yesterday's idea for this town.


Here are some of the exhibits:

  • A booth for free prostate exams "Yep, you're OK....oh wait...let me just...hmmm....no.... wait, I thought I felt something.....no....maybe....what is that? hold on, let me get my analscope...."
  • Which butt plug is right for you?
  • Douching - Just Douche It!
I'm thinking big! Corporate sponsors; Preparation H, Benecal, Metamucil...

Really, though, don't you wish that some of your ex boyfriends had gone to an Anal Health Fair BEFORE they met you? Or, is that just the class of guys that I've been dating....



OK, I've come up with enough ideas for this town...whew...

What do you think?

Monday, February 26, 2007

HUDSON WINS!!


.....Jennifer Hudson, that is...


Comments, folks?

The Formation of Hudson B.O.O.B.


I have a new idea. It's the formation of a new group of gay Hudson business-owners.

Hudson B.O.O.B.

Hudson's Bottom Owned and Operated Businesses.

...I know I don't need to tell you who'll be on it....


The best thing is that you can say:

"Are you going to the BOOB meeting tonight?"

"I'm running for president of the BOOB's, can you please vote for me?"

"That queen, she runs the biggest BOOB in town...."


In the Register-Star, there will be Help Wanted ads that read:

"Are you looking for a BOOB job?"



The BOOB's can get together and advertise in HX in NYC:

"10% discount on all merchandise - for TOPS only!"

The best part would be the TOPS having to PROVE it. (Once again, I think we need an 800 phone number verification service...)


Also, there would be monthly BOOB meetings. A hall filled with bottoms - which could be either a paradise or a hell, depending on the bottoms.

Since it's a bunch of bottoms in a room together, the first order of business would ALWAYS be:

1. Why hasn't he called me?


HAHAHA....OK, enough from me, let me hear from you.

Any comments on B.O.O.B.?

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Porn of the Day Clips!

Some people have already complained to me that there's too much sex/porn on this website.

Tough shit.

This town was built by prostitutes and seamen (hehehe....seamen) and in their honor I'm giving you as much porn as I can!

If you scroll down, in the right hand sidebar, you'll see the new section, under links, called "Porn of the Day Clips"

(granted, I need to work on the organization, but, for now...that's it...)

Click on a link, and you get a little preview of some porn. It rotates, so you'll get a different clip for each link every day.

Nice, huh?

Enjoy! It's my gift to this town, in loving memory of all the sex workers of Hudson, New York!

Forget the Oscars, Email your Congresspeople!

New Jersey just passed Civil Unions.

Which is NOT the same as same sex marriage.

Civil Unions are the equivalent of buying store-brand drugs, like CVS Acetaminophen, because they can't say "Tylenol".

It's the same amount of active ingredients, but it's generic in name.

WTF New York?

You know WHY there are no civil unions in New York? It's because of us. It's mostly the "conservative" upstate voters. New York City people, Long Islanders, Westchester, they don't care, they'd all vote for gay marriage. It's the upstate population where the pro-gay marriage people are less numerous.

That's why Jersey beat us to Civil Unions. Jersey has a more urbane population.

So, a email message from one of you, in Hudson, actually means a LOT. It means that the upstate attitudes are changing.

How many emails do you send a day? 10, 15, 25? HUNDREDS a month?

(For some of you, it's HUNDREDS, and that's only counting Manhunt...)

How many emails have you sent to your congresspeople recently?

....yeah, I thought so.....

You need to favorite these links, and save the email address. When something pisses you off, or you're happy about something - TELL THEM!

That's their job! And it's YOUR job to tell them what we want. Tell them you want Gay Marriage, or at least Civil Unions, in the State of New York.

Here's Hillary's:
http://clinton.senate.gov/contact/webform.cfm

Here's Chuck's:
http://schumer.senate.gov/SchumerWebsite/contact/webform.cfm

And here's the email for our congressperson, Gillibrand. Put it in your Contacts!

rep.gillibrand@mail.house.gov

Um, if you have time to watch the Oscars, then you have time to email your congresspeople.

DO IT!

Saturday Night in Hudson-ish Feb. 24, 2007

Gentle readers,

Tonight was my first 'house party' in upstate New York. I had no idea what to expect or do. I only knew that I had to wear loud clothing and bring finger food.

And I did neither.

I wore monochrome blue and handed the host a bottle or vodka....trust me, MUCH better than my cooking.

We first met for pre-party cocktails at the charming house of a charming friend, who greeted me at the door in a Mardi Gras hat....
At least SOMEONE read the instructions about the party...

If the party had just been the eight of us by the fire talking, it would have been a fabulous evening. But, at some point, we all got into a really large car (as big as my first apartment in New York), and drove somewhere.

I really don't know where...in Manhattan, I don't go to Chelsea because it's too far....I don't go to Jersey, I don't go to Washington Heights, (even though that's in Manhattan)....but tonight I went 15 miles, somewhere, to go to a house party.

The party was amazing! Thank God the other guests brought food, as instructed, and they didn't follow my lead. There was a lot of food. My bunch brought some food, a hummus dip (great!) and some other stuff...I don't know. ..it's all about the alcohol, folks. The whisky sours, that we drank out of jars, were very tasty. I'm still drunk from them as I type this.

I've given up serving food at my parties on my roof top in the East Village. I didn't think that gay men ate? Food, that is....

The house was very nice; the host, so gracious. And the crowd was energetic and cute. I was having fun!

Now, there was a cute boy in all of this....he was very sweet, talked to me throughout the evening, and I thought, "Oh, he's nice..."

But, at one point in the evening, he said to me, "I'm a bottom." OK, I thought, wondering where this was going, "and you and me together, it's not happening...."

Inside, I chuckled to myself. OK, I thought...whatever....

(I could disprove his "theory", but what do I do? Hand him a list of phone numbers of past boyfriends as references? Is there an 800 verification number to call, like when your credit card doesn't go through at first?)

His comment was random. I didn't ask him home. I didn't ask for his phone number. I asked for nothing.

It's kind of a shame. As Bette Davis said to Joan Crawford (vice versa?) at the end of "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane"',

"...you mean, all this time, we could have been friends?"

That's how I felt. We could have been friends, but he has another agenda....and I didn't fit into it...oh well...

I think we were at the party for about an hour or two, and as I went to get my coat, I found a butt sticking out of the coat pile, passed out DRUNK.....shocking! Good God, where was I? It was as if I was at the 'Cock' in Manhattan.




There was a designated driver, a concept I have NO idea of, considering the bars that I go to in the East Village are on my block, I walk to everything.....

One person volunteered to remain sober - which is enough for sainthood in my book.

We drove back to Hudson. I fell asleep in the back seat, like a five-year-old going for a ride in the car....

Then we all went to Stray, where DJ Giovanni was playing.

There, I met LISA from the 'Five and Diamond' in Hudson. Ok, Lisa's great, and I cannot do her justice in this posting.....she needs her own posting. More later....

Stray was fun, but after a little bit, my friends and I left.

I walked home, alone, and along the way, I met a black lab puppy, big paws and a big face. He was so happy to see me.


He just wanted to say 'Hi' and see how I was doing. He had no agenda, other than to greet people and lick their face.

After some doggie kisses, I continued home, and that's how I ended the evening.

It was perfect.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Who needs Miami, when we've got Hudson!



A friend reminded me, via a series of text messages, that the city of Miami was unnecessary, since we have Hudson.

  • Alton Road is the Fairview Avenue of Miami Beach.
  • Lincoln Road is the Warren Street of Miami Beach.
  • The Jackie Gleason Theater is the Hudson Opera House of Miami.
  • Flamingo Park is the Courthouse Square of Miami Beach.
  • Michele Oka-Doner is the Lisa Durfee of Miami Beach.
  • Abel at Twilo is the DJ Lisa at the Hudson River Theater of Miami Beach.
  • Meridian Road is the Diamond Street of Miami Beach.
  • North Miami Beach is the Claverack of Miami Beach.
  • Gloria Estefan is the 'Kareoke Jeff' of Miami Beach.
  • The Deuce is the Savoia of Miami Beach.
  • Pop! is the Knotty Woodpecker of Miami Beach.
  • Jameel's Internet Cafe is the Muddy Cup of Miami Beach.
And my favorite:
  • MiamiLoadSwappingNow.com is the GayHudson.com of Miami Beach.
....we've got everything we need right here in our own backyard!

PLEASE add your own comparison in the comments! C'mon, what can YOU come up with?

Friday, February 23, 2007

Gay Hudson Celebrates the Year of the PIG!

Hi Gay Hudson!

It's the new Chinese New Year and this is the YEAR OF THE PIG!

Which is PERFECT, because if you are a reader of this blog, then you're probably a BIG SEX PIG!

THIS IS YOUR YEAR! oink! oink!

In celebration of Chinese New Year, I found this pig bank on Warren Street last weekend!



And me, in celebration of Chinese New Year, I'm giving you MORE photos of JOSE! My own, personal sex pig.....(well, ok, I had to pay him, but worth it!)...OINK!






I will give anyone THREE FREE MONTHS access to SPANKMEHARD.COM (where you can watch the entire Sex Pig Video) if you send me a photo of yourself in a pig mask....naked...(penii will be blurred, no names of course...)

Rich@BigGayApple.com

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEL!!

Bird Flu hits Florida




Photo submitted by Aaron, our commentor extraordinaire!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

This is where I am RIGHT NOW folks




I took this pic right now...this is from the terrace of my hotel room.

It's snowing in Hudson right now.

Yet, I'm flying up on Friday and can't wait to get there....

Giovanni at Stray Bar -- Saturday 2/24


This flyer just came to me, folks.

Stray Bar this Saturday, DJ Giovanni.

He's a pretty hot DJ, will probably bring a mix of Straight/Gay to the crowd.

Any comments?

More Gay Hudson Butt -- with Tattoo!!


Have you jerked off already today? If not, here's some inspiration.

So firm, so perky....yum!

Who knew that there was this much great boy butt in Hudson, New York?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

How does Gay Hudson feel about the Finnish Line?



Ok, I'm a faigeleh (as if you haven't figured that out...)

I have TWO gym memberships....and even with both gym memberships COMBINED, I still spend more money each month on the two yoga studios I go to....sigh...and I'm STILL not happy with my body (that's another post, another blog.....)

My gym in Manhattan is constant, man-to-man action. If a woman sat in the men's steamroom, she'd become pregnant.

At the Finnish Line, well, I don't think anything ever happens there. (Comments?)

First off, the Finnish Line has a GREAT weekender rate, $165 for six months (initially you have to pay the set up $49 fee). Weekend rates give you three days/week.

The personal steam showers ARE amazing. Confusing, but great. I actually do not use my shower in Hudson. I wake up, walk the dog, go to the gym, and use the steam shower. I love it. (I do bring my own soap....I'm not using CVS brand on my skin....no...)

How to Use the Steam Shower:
OK, this is what you do. As soon as you're done working out, turn ON the steam shower -- before you get undressed. FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS! They're accurate. Just read, people. Follow the top set. Just press the ON button, then the other button until it says "P1".

It's easy...

Then, after you've turned the shower on, get undressed. By the time you're ready, your steam shower will be ready too! YAY! It's really excellent for your skin. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize...and it feels SO great when it's cold out.

You DO run the risk of someone TAKING your shower while you're undressing. It's a risk, folks, like many things in life. But most people don't know how to use the steam showers, they're scared, and you're fine.

Plus, it's not like the locker room is packed.

My fav experience at the Finnish Line was during the Christmas holiday, when they had a big box of free butter cookies out by the front desk. Great.

Other than that, there's no scene at the Finnish Line. At the 'other' gym, (which I don't think is technically in Hudson), there's nothing going on there, either.

So, it looks like if you're going to gym, then you're really going to work out.

Which is probably why there are so few gay men there.

ANY COMMENTS? I'm looking for input on this one.....

PS - they are now open until 3pm on Sundays....this way, you can work out right after church.

....right....

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Gay Hudson Erotic Fiction



Disclaimer: (where's my lawyers?)

This is erotic fiction, folks....'fiction' meaning any relation to real people living, dead, or inbetween, is purely coincidental. As with many of these blog entries, I make this shit up....AND 'erotic' meaning dick-sucking, fucking, cum-swapping, etc.

So, don't get your panties in a bunch.

If you can't deal, then don't read it!

****************************************************************

I'm out with friends for dinner last night. One friend turned to me and said,

"I have an entry for you blog....so-and-so (we'll call him "Fred") got fired this week. "

I looked at him and said, "...and?"

"And he wasn't getting along with his boss."

Again, I said "...and?"

"And I told him to leave months ago..."

"...and?"

He looked at me, incredulous, and said,

"AND, you should blog about it. It's Hudson NEWS."

I said, "No, that's not news. That's gossip. And boring gossip. I'm not using it. On second thought, maybe I will use it, as an EXAMPLE of what's NOT going into my Gay Hudson blog!"

I told him "THIS is what I'm thinking...."

*************************************************************************

Fred's 24, a banged-up upstate boy. Cute, 6 feet tall, skinny, almost entirely hairless, except a small, thick, bush of pubes and hairy legs. No real formal education, no oppurtunity, with a wife and a three year-old kid.

His wife works in the Wal Mart in Greenport. The Wal Mart health insurance package costs too much, so they do without.

Fred's a good kid, but he's battling an addiction to crystal meth. He still does it every now and then, when feeling depressed. He knows he can't support his family, he tries, but what's he going to do? With the drug problem, he could never pass a drug test for a government job. The hospital and prison in town won't hire him.

He applies for a job in Hudson, at an antique shop on Warren Street, run by an alcoholic, bitter, old queen.

The antique dealer takes one look at him and hires him on the spot. No application.

Fred's job is to sand down furniture - shirtless, even though it's February in upstate New York.

Late one evening, after the first two weeks, the owner holds the check out for Fred. He reaches for it, but the owner stops, puts his appletini on a mod 1950's coaster and says,

"I forgot to mention...I have another job for you. I'll double this paycheck if you let me blow you."

Fred's eyes widen. Golly gee, he thinks, the baby will be able to go to the doctor and maybe they can pay for the meds to stop the coughing...

"OK" says Fred.

They go into the back room - Queen Anne furniture EVERYWHERE!

The owner powders his nose in the vanity, watching Fred undress through the mirror.



Fred's slightly erect. Does he like this? What's going on?

The old queen gets on his knees and starts.

It's amazing. Fred is overcome with emotions. He's enjoying it. But how could he, he's "straight"? Oh, what does "straight" even mean anymore?

The blow job gets harder and more intense. This old queen is good. He can take all ten inches down his throat, no gagging. He's a pro.

Fred thinks of his wife, the baby, the money. Tears are in his eyes. Thoughts go through his mind. Why does he have to do this? Why couldn't he have gone to school and gotten a better job? Why did his father leave when he was so young? Why doesn't Wal Mart, the richest company in the world, give better health insurance to it's employees? Fuck the Democrats and their failed promises for the working class!!

With a vision of John Kerry in his head, Fred comes.

Fred is the first man to EVER come with an image of John Kerry in his head.

The old bitter queen spits into an seventeenth-century French chamber pot. Some princess of Monoco supposedly shit in it. At least that's what he tells the doyennes from the Upper East Side.

Two more weeks pass. Another check, another request.

This time, the antique dealer wants to eat him out.

Fred doesn't understand. What does that mean? You want to put your tongue where? The owner puts Fred in a Victorian wing-back chair (with original upholstery) and tells him to hold his feet up to his head, and hold onto his ankles.

Fred thinks...oh my god...THIS is amazing....his wife NEVER did this to him. Who knew?

Fred's immediately arrosed. After fifteen minutes of tongue action, one touch to his dick and he comes BUCKETS! Long, gushing sheets of semen, one after the other. Semen spurting everywhere, all over the furniture!

Thank God for slip covers!

[Now, reader, if the first thought that came to your mind was, 'what about the upholstery?' then you are SO gay...]

Fred's wife loves the paychecks. The baby's well. The car has gas in it.

The third paycheck...

This time, the antique dealer already has a bulge in his pants from a little blue pill he took earlier.

Fred looks at it suspiciously.

"This time," says the old drunk queen, "I'm going to fuck you."

"Golly." was all Fred could say.

"Don't worry, I'll be (BURP!) gentle." says the gassy queen. "Drop 'em and bend over."

Fred slowly undoes his pants and leans over the bed.

Fred, for some reason, is less scared....the rim job was actually kinda nice...maybe this won't be that bad either...

The antique dealer puts lube on Fred's asshole.

His asshole quivers with the cold sticky gel. The doctor had done this to him before but...

WHOA - slip - one finger goes right in!

Easily.

With one finger in Fred's ass, the antique dealer unrolls the condom on his hard dick, down to the gray pubes.

Oh. My. Gawd. Ouch!! He's being ripped open! Such pain! The antique dealer shows no mercy, plows straight in. At this moment, Fred realizes that he'll NEVER ask his wife for any anal backdoor action again.

Now, he knows.

The antique dealer pulls out.

The pain stops.

The old queen lays back on the divan, and removes the condom.

"Fred," he says, without making eye contact, "you're fired."

Fred turns around, his asshole still filled with lube, his lower jaw quivering.

"Why? I don't understand...I've done everything you ever wanted. I even let you stick it in my behind." (He says it as "bee-hind")

Jaded, cynical, exhausted, the antique dealer, still looking at the floor, says,

"Fred, the fantasy's over.....I thought you were a TOP."

**************************************************************************

I looked at my friend over dinner, he was rolling his eyes...

He said to me "THAT'S what you're going to blog about? You're going to take my story about 'so-and-so' getting fired and you're going to turn it into some lame-o, sick-o, SMUT story?!"

"MUCH more intersting, don't you think?" I said, "Babydoll, give people want they want! Give them a good story! Hudson may be small, but no one said it has to be boring!"

;)

Monday, February 19, 2007

Stray Bar -- Hudson, New York

Hi Readers,

Most of my posts regarding going out in Hudson revolve around the Red Dot. But last night, I ended up at Stray Bar and I met the new owner, Peggy, and talked to her for a while. (I'm assuming she's the new owner, correct me if I'm wrong...)

She's a delightful woman and we had a great conversation. I give her a lot of credit, it's not easy running a bar.

Last night, my friend and I did a quick count, and at least half of Stray Bar was gay - which from what I understand, is how it got it's name (straight + gay = stray).

AND, last night, while talking to Peggy, THREE anonymous photos came my way of someone showing their butt, in a jockstrap, I guess, somewhere at Stray Bar.....love it!

So, what's my point?

Given that Peggy is so nice, (and she's really trying to bring a good crowd to Stray), that there seems to be a sizable gay crowd at Stray Bar, and that there's obviously some gay Hudson butt floating around in a jock strap, (yay! See the photos below! I LOVE IT! Send me butt pics!) I might have to walk a couple of extra blocks and hang out at Stray....

...and the $4 peach margarita was good...

There will be more posts throughout the week (and probably today) and PLEASE send me stuff. (rich@biggayapple.com) I'm invited to a couple of parties next weekend, so I may not be at the Red Dot at EXACTLY the same time you are....(omg, people are all pissy now if I don't show up at the Red Dot the same day/time they're there....wtf?)

Kudos to Peggy - I wish her the best of luck! My hat's off to anyone in this town with a little chutzpah to put their neck out and take a chance!

More Gay Hudson Butt, 2/17 - Stray Bar




Here's some more Hudson gay butt shots. These are taken at the Stray Bar this weekend....

Any guesses? Post a comment....




Email from a viewer:

How to save your reputation in Hudson

1. Don't wear the same outfit to breakfast at Earth Foods that you wore at the Red Dot the night before.

2. Have breakfast at the Diner -- no one there was at the Red Dot the night before.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

How to Link to GayHudson.com

Hi --

If you have a website, and you want to exchange links with www.GayHudson.com, then let's do it!

Links are done on a first-come (heeheehee), first-serve basis.

As long as there's a reciprocal link ON your site to us, we'll put up a link on GayHudson.com TO your site!

Just send me an email, it's easy - Rich@BigGayApple.com

NO FIGHTING!

No "why did you link to them and not me..."

Or,

"If you're going to link to them, then I don't want to be on the same page as them....blah, blah, blah...."

To link up , it's first come, first serve; and then the links are sorted alphabetically.

Hudson - The Blow Job Capital of New York?

Everyone's all concerned about the Hudson Waterfront and the cement factory, and what side of the argument are you on...blah, blah, blah.

I'm telling you - we have VAST under-utilized resource here in Hudson. Blow jobs!

Here we go -- I was 26 and in Vatican City. A very nice older Italian gentleman was talking me up and invited me back to his place. He was mid-late 60's, a college professor, and very charming. A bottle of wine, the offer of a 'massage' (he said I was tense...how 'tense' could I have been, I was on vacation...), badda-bing, badda-boom, we're done. Total experience, less than an hour.

The Wiccans say, all the good you do, you'll get back three-fold, the negativity you do, you'll get back three-fold. God willing, I'll be in my mid-late 60's one day, and hopefully, a 26 year old will throw me one...or three?

This is my suggestion for Hudson. There are a few older gay men in this town - you have to SHARE your experiences with the younger boys. You're doing the younger generation a DISSERVICE by NOT offering your blow job skills.

This will bring guys up from Manhattan in the bus loads.

And younger guys, get over yourselves. Just lay back and enjoy it. If you're lucky, maybe you'll find someone who can remove his teeth - how good is that!

It's the sex karma bank. Start putting in, and take out the interest later.

I suggest signs that everyone can wear up and down Warren Street - 'LOAD' and 'UNLOAD'. This way, everyone knows what everyone has or wants.

And the signs can be BOTH sides. This way, you can flip them depending on your mood or the time of day.

NO MORE MASTURBATING IN HUDSON! A spilled seed is a wasted seed.

Give me ten years - I'll be running for mayor of this town.

My campaign slogan? "A DICK in every MOUTH!"

(apologies to the lesbians...)

Saturday, February 17, 2007

From the Lure to the Red Dot...is my life better or worse?

I know I belong in Hudson.

It's funny how I'm bumping into people in Hudson from my old S/M days. Maybe not too funny...

Last month, as I was shopping with one of my Hudson friends, he said,

"Would you have thought, twelve years ago, while we were cleaning cum off the floor at 4am, that we'd now be shopping at the PriceChopper in Hudson...."

...sigh.... cleaning up cum vs. shopping at the PriceChopper.....

Has my life gotten better or worse?

My friend and I used to work a fetish sex party, where at 4am, when it was over, and we were both VERY tired, we turned up the flourescent lights and played Carly Simon's "Haven't Got Time for the Pain".

I would yell "you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here..."

Another Hudson friend and I used to go to the Lure, the non-defunct S/M playground in the meat-packing disctrict of Manhattan. He told me of the "Sadist Shack" a small log cabin that they built inside the bar. You could go inside the Sadist Shack and get beaten up...

He told me this story while sitting at the bar at the Red Dot. (What if a Sadist Shack was put inside the Red Dot?)

So, how did we end up in Hudson?

Maybe it's because the town of Hudson is like an old whore.

She's seen better days. Her makeup is peeling and cracked. She has a few bruises from some bad lovers/tenants. She doesn't make as much money as she used to.

And we come here to help fix her up.

With a little spit on a handkerchief, we clean away the running mascara, heal the wounds, buy her a new outfit to wear.

When we fix up these houses, are we really just fixing ourselves?

...because even an old toothless whore deserves a fresh start...

:)


Friday, February 16, 2007

How to Pick Me Up at the Red Dot This Weekend


Hi Boys -

I DEMAND to get laid this weekend...you hear that!

Ok, this is how you can pick me up at the Red Dot:

1. Pay the Standard Flat Fee

This is the quickest option. Cash. In advance. No kissing, no fucking. Done.


2. Buy me a drink and tell me I look pretty

This can easily get me to talk to you for the length of time it takes me to drink a Corona. If I'm chugging it, then you're boring me....


3. Invite me back to your hot tub.

This is a really good one....it's very retro '70's and Scandinavian and makes me feel like I'm Elke Sommer. But I do expect fondue, it just goes with a hot tub. Dark chocolate and bananas or strawberries...no cheese, please. Dairy on a date is not a good idea.


4. Fix my basement.

I have this wall that needs to be mended, I need a few more structural beams. I'll totally have sex with you if you can do these things....even if you're a woman. Done.


How NOT to pick me up at the Red Dot:

These are things that have been said to me at the Red Dot. My typical response is that I giggle like a 10-year-old Japanese school girl. But, now I'll let you know what I was thinking:

HIM: Your face is very IRONIC.

ME: Um...thank you?
(what do you say to this one?)


HIM (angry): You are NOT ENGAGED in this conversation! Why are you NOT engaged?

ME: hehehe....titter....sorry...
(OK, YOU just spent the past 10 minutes of my life complaining about the Hasidim in Brooklyn, and you're annoyed because I'm not engaged in your conversation? Go rent "The Hebrew Hammer", then talk to me. Shabat Shalom, Motherfucker!!)

HIM: Are you bored? You know, this is HUDSON. This is NOT MANHATTAN. This is as good as it gets....

ME: hehehe...titter...sorry..
(Well, I'm in HUDSON, and I'm FABULOUS, thus, Hudson is FABULOUS).


You know what, on second thought, maybe I'll just stay home with the dog this weekend....

This is Elke Sommer, if you didn't know....if I'm sitting at the bar at the Red Dot, this is the expression I will have on my face. Totally.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Silly picture


People just send me stuff...this is for your amusement...

Hope to see you at the RED DOT!

I'm taking LOTS of photos in town this weekend...

Come by, say hi, and if you have anything interesting/fun/entertaining/sexy for me to post, let me know!

YAY! SNOW!

Rapid HIV Test Info

Hey Guys - this is good to know!



We had our first testing session on Monday February 12 and will have another Monday March 12 at 160 FairviewAve (Above the Chinese restaurant) from 2pm - 5:30pm.

Free Rapid HIV testing with Gonorrhea and Chlamydia screening.

Also, we will have an HIV + men's discussion group at the same location that night for HIV infected and affected gay men from 6pm - 7:30pm.

We would appreciate you adding this post to your blog. Thanks again.

mmcnair@aidscouncil.org

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

More Gay Hudson Butt!


THANK GOD someone listened to me and sent me a photo of their butt!

We LOVE this ass, so smooth, so....SPANKABLE!

With an ass like that, do you think he's a bottom?

I don't know....is the Pope Catholic?

Is the Pope a bottom?

Like Margaret Cho says, the Pope should not be criticizing gays...."in his gown and hat....surrounded by all those MENS...and some of the FINEST ANTIQUES in the WORLD!"

Yes, we in Hudson understand the value of antiques....

Hudson Dinner Parties


They warned me before I came to Hudson....

They said "It's mostly couples, there's no real gay bar, most people go to dinner parties"

Dinner Parties?

Like, sit-down dinner parties? ...ugh...

Listen, I don't mind going to dinner parties, but don't expect me to be all 'sugar and cream' just because I'm all gussied up.

Hey, if I can't talk about RIM JOBS at the dinner table, then don't invite me!

Really.

Here's an example....

GUEST: "This rump roast is just delightful! It's so well marinated..."

ME: "Let me tell you about a RUMP ROAST I was eating last night....25, Latino, HOT. I like them spicy...ASS for DAYS! Meaty, succulent, juicy! His name was JOSE and he was marinated in my spit!"

Hey, if you can't deal, don't invite me.

Here's a photo of Jose:


Mustache Ride



There's only ONE mustache in Hudson worth noting....you KNOW who he is....(no it's NOT Tom Selleck, silly...)

I think of that mustache CONSTANTLY...

I want to feel it, gently tickling my perineum (um, if you don't know what a perineum is, remind me NOT to have sex with you).

I want his mustache on me, the course bristles back and forth, making me ask for more.

The bristles, like a scrub brush, cleaning me.

Cleaning me, like the dirty little whore that I am!

Cleanse me....like a scrub brush!

CHRISTINA!! I'M NOT MAD AT YOU, I'M MAD AT THE DIRT!



On THAT note, I have to go jerk off now, bye...

Hudson Glory Hole


Someone told me that there was a GLORY HOLE in Hudson....

So, of course, I'm thinking the bathroom at the gas station.

No, this photo submission is the "Glory Hole", the deepest part of the Hudson RIVER near West Point.

Babydoll, if I was near a base of young military cadets, I'm sure that my glory hole would run deep as well.

'nuff said.

Gay Boy Butts of Hudson

WAY TOO much time is spent in Hudson talking about Victorian architecture, redecorating, mortgage interest rates, blah, blah, blah...I'm so bored already I can't even finish this sentence.

Let's talk about the best boy butts in this lovely town.

Spreadable, edible, smackable, fuckable.

HELLO!!! Is anyone even getting laid in Hudson?

I'm bringing sexy to this town! Really, it's for my own benefit. I need to get laid. I better have someone licking my balls this weekend!

GODDAMMIT! WTF do I have to do to get laid in this town, run up and down Warren Street naked?!?

Hmmm....there's an idea....

Let's talk about ASS PHOTO SUBMISSION:

LOVE THIS ONE - notice the fab Knotty Woodpecker belt. That's some home town pride - right there, on his ass.



AND, of course, this ass is FAB.....Other than the treats at NOLA's, I don't think there's a perkier, or tastier, set of buns!




BABYDOLL, submit your ass, HERE: Rich@BigGayApple.com

Just send me a photo....please....we already know that your naked ass and dick shots are up on Manhunt, like THIS website is any different?

So, send me an ass shot! DO IT!

You know you want to.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Keep Hudson Valley Foie Gras OUT of Hudson!


Readers,

I want this blog to be happy, but unfortunately, not this time....

There's a new place in town having an event today and one of the main sponsors is HUDSON VALLEY FOIE GRAS.

Next to VEAL, foie gras is one of the CRUELEST forms of animal abuse.

In the photo above, you will see an 18 inch metal funnel stuffed down a goose's neck so that they can be force fed 3-4 times/day. Their livers get diseased, expand, and then YOU EAT IT!!

Here's some more information regarding foie gras.

And if the photos weren't enough, here's the video.

Folks, you don't have to be a vegan or a vegetarian, but just say no to veal and foie gras, those two are the worst.

Please help keep Hudson Valley Foie Gras out of Hudson.

Thank you.