Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Mayoral Election - Are You Registered?

First of all, get registered to vote in Hudson.

All you weekenders - DO IT! If you need a form, TELL ME!!! Email me, I will drop one off at your house this weekend - I'm serious.

Email me. I will drop off a form. Totally. It's worth it.

There's a little less than 7,000 people in Hudson, with around 2,800 registered voters.

The last election was won by about 25 votes (so I'm told by the unsubstantiated factchecker).

An alderperson race is won by a vote or two. It's so close. Your vote IS a big deal.

When is the town going to address our issues?

1) The lack of a gay bar.
2) Too many strollers on Warren Street.
3) That vinyl fence on Union.

UGH! I cannot figure out what's worse...

Anyway, get your ass registered.

If I see you, it's going to be my first prepared!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Lesbians in Hudson

Aaron, the frequent commenter told me this weekend....

"PLUEEZ. That site is SO six months ago! I've already moved on to!"

Of course, if lesbians build a site, it's a .org - everything they do is not-for-profit!

yeah, yeah, yeah....I guess I never do talk about the lesbians of Hudson, do I?

Well...ok, TRUE story here, folks.

One day, I'm walking towards Warren Street, in my capri pants, and these two middle aged, Christopher St. queens come up to me, point towards State Street and say,

"Is this the GAY part of town?"

I made them repeat it twice, because I couldn't really believe they were asking me that question.

I said, "State Street? No. State Street is the LESBIAN part of town. You want Allen Street, around 2nd or 3rd. That's much gayer."

Is there even a gay part of Hudson?

If we had a lot map of Hudson, and painted pink the gay-owned properties, where would the pinkest part be? Where's the center of the rosebud?

There are a few gay sentinel posts on the outskirts of town - around Glenwood Bloulevard and Worth Streets. Their purpose is to warn the Hudson gay populace of the marauding barbarian hordes that attack from Greenport.

The sentinels play the battle cry warning (Cher's "Gypsys, Tramps, and Thieves"). When you hear that, we all run, screaming and flailing, into the Armory - we'll be surrounded by antiques - safe. Then the trained lesbian warriors will protect us.

When I was interviewed for the New York Times about Hudson last year - and this part is TRUE - they asked me about the town and it's gay population.

I said, "Well, like any town, that's going through a gay transformation, we send the lesbians into the bad neighborhoods first. They do the structural work; the foundations, support beams, sewers....THEN the gay men move in to do the interiors and exteriors, that's how it works....."

I don't know why they didn't use that part of the interview....

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Craigslist Ad du Jour

Ya gotta love it....

Craigslist ads are raw. Raw sexuality. Raw emotion. Raw horniess. It is America. It's where we are, sexually, as a culture; gay, straight, whatever. The 'whatever' is the amazing part. Straight guys who want a dildo up their ass. Gals willing to strap it on. It's trannies, "massages", money, commerce, drugs, sex.

....the wife is away, play with me and my boyfriend, only available until 10, looking for now.....

CL is full of people looking to fulfill their desires. Now!

In life, in general, most people are actually afraid to say what they want. They are afraid to offend, even their lifelong partners. I mean, what is life other than an exploration into ourselves? Isn't a partner the person to help you explore your sexual side also?

On Craigslist, you say exactly what you want.

It's a Kinsey study.

It's good reality porn and sociology at the same time.

And for the record, I am not devaluing it. I think Craigslist is fabulous! I am saying, "this is where we're at. It is what it is." No value judgements. Most people, just because it has to do with sex, drugs, and/or rock and roll will devalue it, either consciously or not.

Once you strip away the onion layers of our personalities, pretensions, the facades of who we think we should be (the "What do you DO?" question at dinner parties.), Craigslist is actually who we really are and what we really want, at least sexually. Maybe not all of us, but many, it is a cross section....

[Aside: Whenever someone asks me, "What do I DO?", I make them further explain. Why should the assumption be 'what do I do to earn money?'. Maybe it's - What do I do to be happy? What do I do in bed? What do I do to annoy people? Many people define themselves by their profession, I don't. By the way, the answer to that last question, what do I do to annoy people? This blog!]

Anyway, back to CL.

So, here's a fav I just found.

You're the all-American dad, walking around campus with your family in tow, taking your spoiled brat to college orientation. But I saw you checking me out a few times right in front of your family. Polo shirt, shorts, sandals, nice tan. Yeah, you. I know you are a douche bag and you want one of your kid's friends to breed your ass.

25, 5'8, 165, DDF here you be too.

"breed your ass". That's sweet, isn't it? Feel the love.

And "douche bag". Very 80's Long Island.

"Don't be a douche bag! Meet me at 'Spencer Gifts' later! Eck"

Love it.

And for our heterosexual readers....I mean,'s something for you. Ya gotta love it, folks.


Yes, you heard me right. Unlike all these other gods-gift-to-women posting here, I'm not gonna tell you how friggin' awesome I look.

Cuz I don't. In fact, I'm kind of a troll.

I'm all of five foot five inches, (Man, I hate f--kin' parades)

And that head of hair you girl love? I got it. I comb the few stringy stands I've got left over my mostly bald head. Nice!

And although I shower twice a day, and use some fancy-ass cologne some part-time hooker turned cosmetics tester sold me on the first floor of Bloomie, I gotta admit, I don't smell so good either.

Overall impression? Think Danny De Vito in a very, very expensive suit.

So physically not so impressive.. And come to think of it, my personality's not so hot either. I'm kinda loud, kinda want what I want. (Waiters like me tho, cuz I tip big)

So that's me. All in all, not a pretty picture.

You on the other hand? You are are friggin' gorgeous!

Your hair is like spun silk, your skin is flawless. You manage the incredible trick of being incredibly busty while having the tiniest, nipped in waist. You've got legs that go on for days. You're witty and smart and a brilliant conversationalist. . .well that last sentence is optional,
Can't say I care much about that.

And despite the fact that you're the beauty and I'm the beast, you will go to bed with me. And you will do pretty much whatever I want.


Well, for starters, I've got a great job (investment banking, what a surprise) and make a lot of money.

I also have a nearby apartment I'm not using. And a bunch of cash and a couple of credit cards
I'm not using either.

And I'd be happy to give you the apartment and cash and credit cards I'm not using.

By now, you've probably figured this generous offer isn't simply so you can have the privilege of living in my place, spending my money and watching my credit card balances grow. No, I would expect that in exchange for these privileges you will gladly, willingly and enthusiastically fulfill my deepest desires, especially of a sexual nature.

Let's call it an arrangement.

In order to qualify for this arrangement, I'll need to see several clear photos of you, both face and body.And please don't give me any excuses about the craigs list size limit. If you don't have the brains to figure out how to reduce the size of your photo, you're disqualified. If I'm interested, I'll get back to you, if I'm not, I won't.

Okay, I think I said it all. See you soon

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Hudson, where do you hide the "body"?

The date that won't shut up.

The trick that steals your ipod.

The guy you met and started making out with in a bar, and then, out of the blue, he says "Please don't tell my boyfriend..."

You want to kill them.

Some funny mushrooms....oops, they're poisonous? I didn't know! heehee

A boating "accident".

Or, the simple standby, a 'shiv in the shower'.

We've all been there. But, the problem is, what do you do with the body?

Forensic science these days is SO good.

This week on, Trixie explores our morbid curiosity.

Where can you hide a dead body in Hudson? Maybe the question should be, where can you NOT put a dead body in this town?

Prop it up on a stool at one of the local bars, it could stay there for days...

Well, I have a few ideas...

This is not Hudson....but it could totally be Hudson....
Note the graffiti "Dead Body Inside - HELP!"

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


Polling has closed! All wards are counted, and the winner for the GAYEST thing in Hudson is...


....and the fact that there's a Country Squire station wagon in the driveway.

It's so gay. It's actually now the GAYEST thing in Hudson (besides this blog, of course).

Trixie at contacted "Marlo", the proprietor of the Country Squire, to tell her that she won....

Marlo's response:

"Thank you for including me!

There are just too many homo things about the Country Squire station wagon, really...

  • Hide-away headlamps with chrome LTD applique's on the cover panels (Can you say DRAMA!)
  • Erect stand-up hood ornament (enough said)
  • Fender mounted carriage lamps (Straights would just call 'em turn signals)
  • Simulated wood paneling (because gays hate real paneling so much fake stuff is acceptable)
  • Saddle "pleather" interior (slide across it bare-assed with a HOME DEPOT trick...HOT!)
  • It's just plain big and long (size queens line-up here)
  • A tailgate that swings both ways (like the Home Depot trick)
  • Rooftop cargo rack (because where gays go..cargo follows)
  • Trailer hitch ( I don't know why but it just registers as sexy..ask a leather guy)
I'm going to fill 'er up with $65 of Premium and head for the open road..and all roads seem to lead to the Home Depot parking lot.

ta ta.

P.S. In the 1974 TV-Movie "Death Sentence" , Cloris Leachman is a juror on a murder trial and slowly begins to suspect the defendant is innocent..and her own husband is the killer. One of the clues....undocumented mileage on her COUNTRY SQUIRE Station Wagon..the exact distance from her house to the victims! (In one scene Cloris takes out the curb trying to turn the thing into her driveway..great '70's camp)


What are you doing this weekend, Gay Hudson?

Hello Hudson boys,

OK, get out your schedule. What are you doing this weekend?

First of all, there's the Mike for Mayor Party at the Basilica, 100 S Front Street from 3-6 this Saturday, the 25th. You can meet the candidate, there's food/drinks, music. Is anyone going?

Ok, let me re-phrase that...

Is anyone GAY going?

(I know, that comment is much to the chagrin of my hetero readers...or readER....well, the site is called GayHudson...)

I'm trying to get people to go and talk to candidate Mike, and have him address OUR issues!


The lack of single gay men.
Alcoholism/drug addiction
Fat tourists in horizontal stripes. They should be banned!

What are some of our other issues? Please comment!

And then there's this boat cruise on Saturday night.

I've heard that Troy boys are easy. They're even more desperate than Albany boys.

(I really have no idea why people still live in these towns.....someone tried explaining it to me, I still don't get it.)

So, I'm thinking about it. I'm still such a Manhattanite, I still don't have a driver's license, so I need to bum a ride, if anyone's going.

Gas, grass, or ass...

yeah, we'll talk...

I don't know.....they're just ideas. I can only kayak for so many hours.

And working on my house? ...ugh...boring.

Email me. Make it happen...

my email address was not forwarding....sorry...please email again

What kind of WHORE are you?

Are you a South of Warren WHORE, like, Catherine Deneuve in "Belle du Jour"?

Classy, sophisticated, refined? Angst-ridden?

Or, are you a North or Warren WHORE, like Jane Fonda in "Klute"? Smart, sassy, fashionable? Angt-ridden?

Monday, August 20, 2007

Part Time Hudson ASS-essor position open

Oh, it's not good that I'm bored....and on the website.

What would your duties be?

This ass? Too flat.

That ass? Too salty.

This ass? mmmm...just right!


People ask me if I like Hudson. I tell them I LOVE Hudson!!!
And I'm not even being sarcastic.....for once.

Across the street from my place in Manhattan, I can buy, 24 hours/day, six different flavors/types of soy milk (vanilla, plain, unsweetened, chocolate, enhanced, and soy 'creamer'), yet you can't find one container of skim milk in Hudson.

Or 2% milk, or a working fax machine/copier, or a plunger.

Forget a gay bar. Forget sex. Just give up on all that. Let it go.

But, what you CAN find in Hudson - are the bald eagles on the river. My friend snapped the photo above of a bald eagle in flight this weekend, while we were on the river, in Miss Trixie's kayaks. It was AMAZING!!

You know it's a eagle when you see it. Their wing span is enormous. You see their white tail and head. They're majestic. The eagles glide in the air.

(Just like the song, "Soar like an eagle....". Go figure.)

And for a brief moment, when you see an eagle, or when you're just out on the water, and it's calm and peaceful, you realize that life is great.

This is it, folks -- this is as good as life gets!! Anything more is just extra.

(Yes, you could have a million dollars, and/or a blow job on the water while you see the eagles, but ya know, let's not get greedy....)

Call it what you will, but here's to this little town of Hudson!
It has to be a special place...the eagles made a nest here.

Sunset over the Hudson River, from the water, Sunday, August 19, 2007.
Photos courtesy of my friend,
"Ms. South of Warren Belle du Jour".

Saturday, August 18, 2007

My Favorite Hudson Manhole.....

You probably think that Agnes is the cat's meow.....

Well, sometimes, she's great, and supplies with the latest in Hudson news, politics, and history.

But, sometimes she's just an annoying old, dried-up whore. How she survives on the cigarettes and scratch off lottery tickets we give her as salary is anyone's guess.

Oh yeah...there's the dvd distribution income from the "Grandma's a Whore!" series. I forgot.

Download a clip or two here. It's either Agnes or one of her mahjong partners.

I think that they "shot" one video on the island between Hudson and Athens.

The guys are actually really hot.

Agnes gets it on

Agnes gets more

Here she is with the Latino gardeners

She's such an old whore.

Agnes is ALWAYS complaining!! "Why aren't there more photos of Hudson?!"

I usually say, "Shut the fuck up, bitch." Then, I slap her.

This time, she was more annoying. So, I pulled out a photo of my favorite Hudson manhole....cover, that is.


Friday, August 17, 2007

Porn Review:

Click HERE to watch the video

by John Russell

It warms the cockles of my little heart to see straight boys getting all anally erotic. It seems like, out of nowhere, the early 21st century has spawned a breed of heterosexual male that just loves getting his ass licked, fingered, and even fucked – by chicks of course! Whatever is responsible for this trend (shifting gender roles, increased acceptance of homosexuality, the Queer Eye guys?), it’s even impacting porn. is a straight site. Really! It may sound like a gay porn site, but there is no guy-on-guy action here. These dudes are straight and the people fucking them all have breasts, vaginas, and big, thick strap-ons. But don’t worry, gyno-phobes: the focus is definitely on the guys.

Watch the video clip HERE

Specifically, their asses. The camera lingers almost exclusively on their taut little tushies, their pink, puckered holes. The site is so preoccupied with the ass, it almost ignores the guys’ cocks. A few clips feature blowjobs and handjobs, but for the most part it’s all rear entry. And forget about seeing much pussy. In many of the site’s videos the ladies don’t even take off their tops, while the gentlemen are obliged to completely disrobe.

And gentlemen they are, subjecting themselves to the whims of their dominant female partners. In fact, there is a lot of unacknowledged domination and submission on The guys end up on their knees, sometimes crawling, naked and vulnerable, while the women are cast as authority figures.

It’s all about the humiliation, with guys getting spanked by their girlfriends, disciplined by teachers, and strip-searched by sexy cops. But, as any gay boy will tell you, getting butt-fucked doesn’t have to be a humiliating, submissive act, even for a straight boy. Scattered in with the DS-tinged videos are some in which the guys are much more enthusiastic bottoms. A few are set in a massage parlor, where a busty masseuse uses vibrators and anal beads to loosen up her stressed out clients.

Several of the videos on come from Italy. It’s amazing how much better the acting seems when you have no idea what the porn actors are saying. In one clip, a guy walks in on two girls hanging out in a bedroom, and one of them ends up fucking him. I’m still a little foggy on the setup, but this is one of my favorite videos on the site, with a super cute Euro-trash boy moaning as he takes it from behind.

Watch the video clip HERE

Each video is divided into four easily downloadable clips, and includes a still photo gallery. There’s even a preview gallery of thumbnail pics from future updates and a calendar showing each month’s scheduled updates.

Mark your calendar, invite over that straight friend who’s been asking you all those questions about anal sex, and see what happens…

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Agnes tells you where to go...

With all of the talk of "North of Warren" (NoWa or NOW) and "South of Warren" (SoWa or SOW), we asked "Agnes", our living-on-the-streets reporter and old Hudson whore, what ARE all the neighborhoods in Hudson?
Here's her response:
Enough with yer "SoWa" "NoWa" talk! It brings up these memories you see. My therapist at CoArc... or is it Savoia... says I need to expunge these things.

You see there was this one Diamond Street madam, Miss Speedy we called her, who wanted us to do four incalls or three outcalls an hour! Can you imagine? Thank Saint Christopher that Hudson is a small town and we could just hop on our bike and get around do our business and get home. Anyways, we had to devise a kinda verbal shorthand around Hudson to keep us girls moving.

We made up our metaphorical hieroglyphics to use when we were on the run -- you know, like when we got "emergency" calls and had to scoot quick. Most of the ones we used wouldn't make any sense to you because Hudson has changed so much... so much is gone... Diamond Street, the General Worth Hotel, the Chick Shack, the Tainted Lady, the Crystal Room, M&T Beanery... and the old customers have all moved to Florida or the Oak Park Cemetery.

With my friends the SluAbTan (the Sluts Above Tanzi's) we sat down and composed some new ones you can use. For free -- you don't have to buy me a drink or anything. It reminds me of the old days here to talk like this. Can I bum a cigarette? Menthol's OK.

SpoRo = Spook Rock
WeHo = West of the Hospital
NoPro = North of the Promenade
WeWilPla = West of Willard Place
RosCo = Corner of Rossman
CoRoSec = Corner of Rope and Second
UpFiHo = Upstairs at the Fire House
LoWaDeCo = Lower Warren Dealer's Corner
CoDuDo = Corner by Dunkin Donuts
WeFro = West of Front Street
NoStoRog = No Stock Rogerson's
NoWarIn = North of the Warren Inn
WeStaStroBlo = West State Street Stroller Block
MeDeAl = Meat Department at Aldi
TaSiFoSi =Table Six Food Sing
StaDiWi = Staying at the Inn at Hudson
StaDreRo = Stageworks Dressing Room
AcLeGa = Across from Le Gamin
AlEgReMa = Allen Street Egyptian Revival Mansion
ShaBli = Shadow of Bliss Towers
ArVi = Around Vico
WayNoChe = Way North Chelsea
StaGaMeRo = Stair Galleries Men's Room
NoLiTa = North of the Library Tar
TeeEssEll = Kaufmans Bakery
BeGo = Behind Goodwill
AbFaStock = Above Face Stockholm
ToMuCu = Top of the Muddy Cup
DiBaDo = Diner Back Door
InCaMe = Inn at Ca' Mea
AcFroArm = Across from the Armory
LooCreeSwiPo = Loomis Creek Swimming Pool
WaPaLo = WalMart Parking Lot
ReDoBa = Red Dot Bathroom
AmHi = Amtrak Heights
MiPriUnCri = Miss Priss' Union Street Crib
SoWaLaOx = South of Warren Ladies Auxiliary Underground Hideout
HoHo = Heart of Hudson, Fourth and Warren

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

My First Year in Hudson, Before and After

One year in Hudson...before and after...

Anyone who has seen my little North-of-Warren house knows that the house is now in WORSE condition than when I bought it a year ago.

One person came in and said, "Oh, so THIS is after one full year, huh?"

I figure, it's been standing for 200 years, it ain't going anywhere anytime soon....

"Miss Trixie's Whorehouse, Beauty Salon, and Kayak Rental" doesn't run itself, you know...I got shit to do...

Business is booming! I'm thinking of opening up a franchise in Catskill, catering to the needs of THAT community. In Catskill, it'll be "Miss Trixie's Kayak Rental and Methadone Clinic."

...and you think you're bored in HUDSON!

Who says I'm not out there servicing the community? I'm all about outreach.

And this week, the counter went over 10,000!!!

Someone spank the fact checker!

Thank you,'s been fabulous!! More to come!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

What's the GAYEST thing in Hudson?

This is true...
I was talking to a friend on Warren Street this weekend, and I said,
"Well, if this town really wanted to get its act together, all the realtors would take out a full page ad in 'HX' and then there would be an article on Hudson. A quaint Victorian town just two hours outside of Chelsea? HELLO! It's over! We all make money!"
He agreed, but added,
"Miss Trixie, other than your fabulous blog, there's nothing really specifically GAY about Hudson."
There is no "gay" bar. I'm not really sure about a "gay" night anywhere, anymore? A "gay" restaurant? A tea room?
I tell people that Hudson is "gay-ish".
So, in this week's poll, I ask, what is the "GAYEST" thing/place in Hudson?
I left this blog out of it.
Oh little town of Hudson, if we were going to run an ad in 'HX', what would we promote today?

Agnes update: Agnes reminds us that 'HX' used to have the Hudson River Theater in the "Homo Must" column.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Hudson Hugs - BEWARE!!

This is TRUE!! I couldn't even make it up....

Agnes found this article on-line while watching herself in her latest grannie porn video:

HUDSON-A former Hudson clergyman has been charged with unlawfully fondling another member of the clergy.
Good LORD, Hudson!

And you thought this blog was racy!

I mean, hey...did I complain all those years when the priest hugged me and squeezed my pre-pubescent ass?


Speaking of lawsuits, "Miss Trixie's Whorehouse, Beauty Salon, and Kayak Rental" was in full swing this past weekend in Hudson.

Here at Miss Trixie's, we are always on the look-out for someone who needs a kayak, a hot oil treatment, or a blow job....or all three.

Since insurance on kayak rentals would make the business impractical, I've decided to use the barter system for "renting" out kayaks to friends.

Two new Trixie Adventurers came by Saturday, and took a watery jaunt around the island.

They bought Miss Trixie drinks and dinner on Saturday night. You can play with my "kayaks" anytime for some free drinks.

Hey, I've done more for less....

We went to Vico, which was my first time ever (yeah, I know, I say that a lot..). We sat in the back garden, and had a blissful view of Hudson's public housing complex.


The atmosphere was great, the food was fine, although it did take a long time to prepare....

Luckily, I always carry around some saltines in my purse, in case I get hungry!

That was my Hudson weekend....yeah....the water's fine. C'mon in....before it gets cold.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

I talk to Dead the school playground.

Why is the Hudson elementary school named after that guy who talks to dead people?

John Edward. I don't understand.

The best thing about John Edward's show is that HE's from Long Island, and so are the guests and audience members.

"It's my motha, she's dead......I can see her by the mawl, wawlking the dawg."

It's Amy Fisher/Joey Buttafuco Long Island.

This is on youtube. Why, I don't know.

It looks like the videographer is some teenage kid, like the one from 'American Beauty' who videotaped the plastic bag swiling in the wind. Why else would you videotape a shadow of the American flag in a school yard.

He tried to video tape outside the elementary school, and the principal didn't like it.


What was the point of this video?

Please...kiddie porn is SO three years ago. GILF porn is now. (Grannies I'd Like to Fuck).

(CLICK HERE FOR GILF PORN....hey, is that Agnes?)


(I just watched a scene from "Hey, Grandma is a Whore! Number 8" TRUE! There were at least EIGHT of them in the series! I LOVE that there's a statement that reads 'All models over 18'. Oh yeah, because we had some doubt...)

Anyway, where was I?

Amy Fisher, talking to dead people, grannie porn.....

Oh yes!

Here's that Hudson, New York elementary school video that Agnes found on

Friday, August 3, 2007

Miss Trixie's Kayak Adventure

OK - This is true....

I'm getting my second kayak this weekend, and starting NEXT weekend, August 11 -12, I'm going to start renting out the kayaks and walking folks down to the water, and putting them in.

It's going to be called,

"Miss Trixie's Kayak Adventure"

This is the deal:

There are two kayaks, like the one above. Each kayak holds one person and there's a water-proof storage compartment.

You each get a life jacket so you don't die, and a paddle, don't break them on your ass.

The water's really easy and calm. I tell people, they have to be a major spaz to tip over.

("spaz", I know, SO Long Island 1987....)

It'll cost $10/person ($10/kayak) per hour - three hour minimum.

So, two people out on the water for three hours will cost $60.


You come North of Warren, sign a release form, leave your driver's license, we walk down to the water, give you a five minute lesson, and you're off. Clock starts when you're in the water. It takes about fifteen minutes from my house to the water.

Appointments are whenever I feel like it. You'll have to check the website.

I'm going to set up a separate website and there will be a link from here - the infamous

This way, you bed and breakfast folks can give them a "SAFE" website address. They won't have to go to We don't want to scare the tourists into thinking that there's a WWI trench-warefare battle on Warren Street or that you can get a blow job in the park. decide if you want to tell them about the blow jobs. Maybe if they're cute....

That's the deal.

Cash, in advance. Miss Trixie wouldn't have it any other way....

(Miss Trixie's Kayak Adventure is currently under legal review....dates to be determined).