Saturday, September 29, 2007

Male Strippers/Go Go Boys/Porn Stars Wanted!

photo from

Any guys out there looking to do some stripper work? Be a porn star? is hiring! Seriously.

We're looking for local talent to take it all off and perform on camera. We're looking to start a new section of the website.

We pay cash.

If you're interested, send a photo and contact info to:

18+ ONLY! duh.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Keep it Clean, folks

Hi --

OK, I got nothing today.

What can I talk about other than the same usual topics?

--Does anyone ever get laid in Hudson?
--Charles Nelson Reilly
--Linda Mussman

See, I'm bored as well. Go to the Pocketbook Factory event on Saturday evening, Trixie's going. You see what happens when I'm bored?

And then you MUST go to Stray Bar Saturday night, because DJ Lisa/Redlight is spinning. We LOVE her!! Jessica and Peggy at Stray, they're all so sweet. Love them all. The music will be great! Think about it, boys....

How about a tribute to Alice Ghostley as Aunt Esmerelda?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

They found the body by the BLANK

Brett Somers passed recently, it seems as if we were just mourning Charles Nelson Reilly.

Someone check on Marcia Wallace and make sure she's OK.

By the way, YES, the rumors are true.

I'm finally having sex in Hudson.....

And then last weekend, they found his body by the gym.

Well, if you say you're going to call, then call.....and then I'll let you live.

Plus, he was a Linda Mussman less vote. I do what I can.

We're not going to STOP having sex just because he's dead....a dead body is actually better than most of what you'll find in Hudson.

At least he doesn't talk too much.

Is everyone going to Artswalk this weekend?

You must attend the Pocketbook Factory event on Saturday. It is THE event in town.

The Artists’ Reception. An opening day celebration. Meet the artists from the shows and enjoy refreshments from 5:30pm to 8:00pm at the Pocketbook Factory, Washington & Prospect Streets at 6th Street. Free admission.

And there's an Eat for Art event on Friday night.

Which costs $125/person. It's in the Cannonball Factory.

It's really the most expensive meal you're going to have in Hudson, North of Warren Street.....and outside of Mexican Radio.

In memorandum of Ms. Somers, let's watch the following clip.

Monday, September 24, 2007

On a different topic......

Orson Welles....Dawn Wells...whatever....

Ok, so here's my favorite Red Dot story for this week:

Someone came over to me this weekend, and said....

"Trixie, as one gal to another, I just wanted to tell in that red dress, you looked rather 'Chunky'!"


This is a rough town, folks...

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Advertise with!

Hello Hudson! Now you can advertise with! Get excited.

This is how it works, you have TWO options, TOP or BOTTOM.

TOP Option:
For the entire month, we will post YOUR banner at the TOP of the blog with a link back to your site, right under the title, This costs $100/month.

BOTTOM Option:
We will post your banner at the bottom of an individual blog post for just $15/day with a link back to your site. You can choose the days.

Versatile? Do both!

Or, for $100, we'll do a post about your store, night, sex life....whatever you want.

We're just whores here at - Keeping the history of prostitution alive.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Surrender Linda!!

Linda Mussman just announced it this afternoon.

You can read the article by clicking the link above.

Linda did not concede the Democratic candidacy. She's running on her own line, the Bottom Line (whatever...), making it a three-way race between herself, Mike O'Hara and Scalera.

Which is exactly what "Republican" Scalera wants - to split the Democratic party.

Thanks alot, Linda.

Linda could have easily won the race for Alderperson of the 4th Ward, and been on the Common Council. But, what? Common Council's not enough?

As a newcomer, I just see this now as an ego trip. sympathy.

We have our work cut out for us now, folks.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Debate Night

Hi folks,

I know that the primary vote already happened, but I'm still recapping this past weekend!

Here's a photo from last Friday, debate night, at Hudson's Elementary School.

If you went, what did you think of the Hudson debates?

If you want my commentary, I have to admit that Mike O'Hara was steady and even throughout the evening. Linda started off well, but didn't end well. If you want passion, then Linda is your gal. She has done amazing work in this town, and it's not to be undervalued.

You know what, for now, let's forget about the issues. We can leave that to my friends at the Register-Star. Instead, let's talk about imagery.

At one point, talking about the youth of town, Mike told the story of how he keeps a little makeshift bike repair shop on Warren St. The neighborhood kids can come by, put air in their tires, tighten a screw, or hammer a nail...whatever you do to bicycles, like I know.

(When he teaches these neighborhood kids to fix a leaky roof, have them come over to my house! I can't get a contractor to show up!)

The small town bike repair guy. It's a nice, pleasant image. Sweet.

Now, I forget the question...but Linda told the story of how she got kicked in the head by a horse on a farm, and saw stars.

Not a pleasant image, no matter how you think about it.

I'm no Candy Crowley, (in some of these photos, I'm no Twiggy either....) but if I was going to offer my political advice, I would say....ya know what, leave out the "kicked-in- the-head-by- a-horse" story...

Happy Happy Up Up, right?

And for the record....I wasn't the only one in the room wearing a wig....

Make Someone Happy!

Do you remember the blizzard of 1956? Of course you don’t, you yunguns don’t recall the blizzard of 2006… and you just buy me drinks to listen to the old broad ramble on.

Trixie it’s me Agnes.

I met Betty Comden during the blizzard of ’56 when a whole trainload of passengers barged into the Half Moon ‘cause the New York Central 286 was stuck in a drift. At first I thought she might be a new girl in town and I don’t like me no competition, but she turned out to be two fisted drinker with a laugh anna great sensa humor an she was always ready for a song, some of which she apparently wrote herself. We got along fine. She was on the train to Proctors in Schenectady for a try-out that night and never made it. Somehow she remembered me later, and every now and then Broadway show tickets would show up in my mailbox... and last week, tickets showed up for her memorial... I hadn’t known she passed, we’re losing all the old-timers, kinda sad.

So this morning after we both voted, I threw Tippy in my purse along with a mint chocolate coffee shake, and grabbed the train at the Front Street Station; Bucky the conductor lets me ride for free… well almost, he kinda asks for a favor just past Poughkeepsie, see. Arrived in the wonderful town with just enough time to run up to the Majestic. They didn’t want to let a smelly old lady with a cat into the theater even with a ticket, so I went to the stage door and told them I was Elaine Stritch.

Trixie, do you remember a great big Broadway musical comedy star named Dolores Gray? I didn’t think you would, you can barely remember as far back as Grey Gardens, the show that guy at the Red Dot is always running off about. Well Trixie, you could learn a thing or two about a feather boa from Dolores, that bitch knew how to sing to the rafters and work a room. Alas, she's not still here either.

So the memorial program they hand us for "Great Women Salute a Great Woman: Betty Comden" names some newcomer named “Lypsinka” who’ve I’ve never heard of, a real tall girl, must be some kinda Vegas showgirl or something. She comes out and sings one of Betty's songs, “Thanks a Lot But No Thanks.” And she NAILED it – she nails Dolores Gray – every sound, every gesture, every inflection, every hip swivel – if I closed my eyes I would think Dolores was on the stage the voice was so good, so ladylike yet strong… whatta entertainer this Lypsinker is…she stopped the whole goddamned memorial show... she was as good as those lady impersonator fairies they used to have at the Hudson River Theater! Click on this link and close your eyes… it brought me back to fifty years ago, catching a flick at the Community Theater on Diamond and Seventh…


And the end we all stood up in the audience and sang this song together, and since you probably don’t know it Trixie I’m gonna post the lyrics here cause its a real nice song. It was a sad afternoon, but real bootiful too; I miss my old friends.

Make someone happy,
Make just one someone happy.
Make just one heart the heart you sing to.
One smile that cheers you,
One face that lights when it nears you.
One gal you're everything to.

Fame, if you win it,
Comes and goes in a minute.
Where's the real stuff in life to cling to?
Love is the answer,
Someone to love is the answer.
Once you've found her,
Build your world around her.
Make someone happy.
Make just one someone happy
And you will be happy too.

Monday, September 17, 2007

It's really up to us....

We met the Mayoral candidate last night, Mike O'Hara. And THANK YOU to my co-sponsors Vince and Victor!!! Thanks to Vince for letting us use the fabulous Tin Ballroom and thanks to Victor for putting it all together!

My impression is that O'Hara's a nice guy, a corporate manager, someone who can actually get things done.

When asked about gay marriage in New York State - in my opinion, there's really not THAT much he can do about it, the Mayor of New Paltz already tried - but O'Hara did mention that it would be nice if Hudson became a gay and lesbian marriage town, like Provincetown, if gay marriage got some recognition in the state of New York.

I'll take that.

That's an EXCELLENT business for Hudson! Perfect, if you ask me. Let's be the gay marriage town of New York State! Love it! That's a real business idea - it's not, "let's give a company tax credit to build some lame-o factory that's going to be obsolete in three years" idea.

Or, "let's put up a 'We want your business in Hudson' sign on 9G". A sign ain't gonna cut it, folks.

Unfortunately, the last two are some other ideas I've heard....ugh...we need to think BIGGER!!

That's really the problem, folks -- too much of a small town, focused on small town gossip, "he said/she said" bullshit, and egos out of control.

(And that's ME complaining about egos out of control....hello.)

And another big problem in Hudson is no accounting books!!!

Like, there's no books. No accountability, no books and records. We're lucky to have physical ledger books in Hudson, from what I understand. Forget Excel spreadsheets.

(And I know that this is "true" because I confirmed with my cab driver this morning. I get my "real" Hudson info from my cab drivers. They've lived in the town for years, they know everything. How much does a one bedroom rent? They know. The cab driver knew there's no accountability in Hudson.)

There's other problems, like, the only maps of the Hudson sewer system are all hard copy and they're all in one place. God forbid there's a fire!

It's like Hudson's records are as old and falling apart as some of its houses!

For us corporate gals, all of this is ridiculous! We understand the purpose of mulitple copies, hard and soft, and back up servers.

(...and for those of you who REALLY know Trixie, you'll know that I'm a bored, glorified Wall Street technology accounting consultant. I laugh at companies that still do their reconciliations on Excel spreadsheets! Excel - hah! What a joke!)

Anyway, what's the purpose of this post?

A couple of weeks ago, while I was walking my dog, I dropped off some voter registration forms to a gay couple I met at the Red Dot.

This morning I got an email:

"Hi – nice meeting you a few weekends back at the Red Dot. Thank you for the ballots and note. We are now both registered to vote in Hudson. I think your post today was 100% right-on. We don’t need Gov’t grants. And Gov’t Grants certainly won’t help make Hudson the most fabulous destination possible! Sorry we are missing the Tin Room event, but alas, our jobs keep us in NYC. We want to get involved. Please let us know what we can do to help."

And that's why I do this.

The wigs are hot. I can't do makeup. My white stockings were falling all through the debate, rolling down over my "plus-size" thighs.

But, I love Hudson, so, it's worth it.

Things aren't going to change until, good, every day people get involved.

We have the talent, we just have to organize it.

Honestly, I don't know what's the first thing to do.....or where to start....

But, I can reconcile a checking account - and I know Excel.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Who has the Biggest Snake in Hudson?

Why are people always asking me this question? I mean, I've been on a few snake hunts in my time, but it's always been about the thrill of the hunt for me, not the size of the darn trouser hog... A.

"Columbia County Sheriff’s Office units responded to a call on Friday night, of a large boa constrictor that was found stuck in a fence. Department of Environmental Conservation Police Officer Jeff Cox secured the snake. It is uncertain who the owner of the eight foot snake is at this time."

Monday, September 10, 2007

"I'll have to see what happens..."

"Trixie Starr", Hudson's Investigative Reporter

Don't complain later if you don't get involved now. That's my new slogan.
This past weekend, I handed out five voter registration forms to "weekenders" who are still registered in Manhattan/Jersey City.
Fill out those forms and mail them! Your vote counts! The Mayoral election in Hudson is won/lost by about 25 votes. Weekenders need to get registered in Hudson! Especially the gay weekenders!
C'mon girls - get it together!! We can do it!
(Yes, you can only vote in one place, but in Hudson your vote really counts!)
Sunday afternoon, I went to the "Linda Mussman for Mayor" question and answer session.
Linda is very knowledgeable about the issues.
When asked about St. Laurence Cement and the waterfront, she said that she has "Nothing to gain. St. Laurence has nothing to do with me or TSL, or anything I own or do."
Yeah, I know St. Laurence Cement owns the land on the waterfront, but....
Does the town of East Hampton have a cement plant on the beach?
No. Cement is the past.
Tourism and a service industry economy is the future.
This is the issue, folks. After attending the Mike O'Hara and the Linda Mussman question and answer sessions, I have yet to hear the candidates give a clear vision of the future of Hudson. Yes, they do address the current problems; the police force, the Butterworth house, the lack of single gay men (well, ok, maybe not the last issue..)
But I do not hear a vision for the future.
And if I don't hear it (and I'm going to these sessions) then I know that no one else is hearing it.
Hudson lacks some basic services and ways for tourists to spend money:
1. Decent, dependable, inexpensive, (dog-friendly), train service to and from the city. There's a fast train I hear about, but I don't know where that's at, at what stage? Someone please tell me.
2. Services by the waterfront. The boats stop, but where can they spend money? The Half Moon? They buy coffee at the train station.
3. Stores: There's no food store (although there's a plan for a food co-op, and I'm still digging up that data...hey, I never said I was a good investigative reporter...). The hardware store is closed on Sundays, and does not keep things in stock. We have to go to Greenport for shopping.
4. Hotel space.
Someone at the Linda Mussman meeting stated that there's a meeting space in Hudson, but they have to put the people up in Rhinebeck because there's not enough rooms available in Hudson.
The Pocketbook Factory is closed.
The Button Factory is closed.
(The Sound Factory is closed, and they had such a great dance space...)
All of these factories are closing, and they are not coming back, folks. They are in China now.
The future of Hudson is tourism and a service-based economy of Mom and Pop, (or Pop and Pop and Mom and Mom) retailers. NOT WALMART!
Do we need government grants to get business to come here? We already have an economic "Empire Zone." What has it done?
(If it helps, I'd make my ass an "Empire Zone" and see if it improves my sex life...)
Hudson has beauty. When tourists come, we need good, quality, services for them.
On a different issue, when I asked Linda,
"Let's say, you lose the Democratic primary, will you step down and support the Democratic candidate?"
Her response was, "I'll have to see what happens..."
Remember, she's running on her own party line, the Bottom Line Party as well....(Oh, I could make a 'bottom' joke here, but it's too easy...)
And that sums it up.
We'll have to see what happens.
Meanwhile, get involved, go to the meetings, register to vote.
It's your town, too!!

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Hudson, it's "Martha Mitchell Calling"

As I left the Stagework's performance of "Martha Mitchell Calling" Friday night, my friend turned to me and said, "There's a little Martha Mitchell in you Trixie, isn't there?"

I said, "There's a little Martha Mitchell in all of us. The goal is to let it out."

I'm an easy date. I agreed to see the play without knowing one thing about it. I have never been to a Stageworks performance, and in the beginning of the evening, as we walked towards the theatre, I asked my friend, "What are we seeing again?"

"'Martha Mitchell Calling'", he said.

"Oh, who was Martha Mitchell?"

I heard the name, but I really had no idea. Thanks, high school "Social Studies" teachers...

Now I know who she is. She's a role model.

Who wouldn't love a funny, boisterous Washington wife in a pink negligee calling the press whenever she found out that "Trickie Dickie" Nixon was up to no good? Nixon admitted that if it weren't for Martha Mitchell, there would be no Watergate.

The performance was great. Throughout the show, my main thought was, "My God, that wig must be hot..."

I'm not a theatre critic, so I'll stop at my wig comment....just go see the show, why not? What else are you doing in Hudson on a Friday or Saturday night? Really? Support some local theatre and just go.

Here's the web address:

Thanks goes to Martha Mitchell for getting involved; for not sitting at home and keeping her mouth shut. She spoke out against the Vietnam war and Nixon -- and she was a Republican.

A loud gal and her pink princess phone can change the world.

Actress Annette Miller as Martha Mitchell

Friday, September 7, 2007

Mussman for Mayor

If you're in town and want to talk to one of the Mayoral candidates (no, Mayor McCheese is not running for office....well, not this year...), then go to a meet and greet with Linda Mussman on:

Sunday, September 9th
3:30 - 5:30pm
Mussman for Mayor / Bottom Line Headquarters
238 Warren Street
(Richard Sena Gallery)

The flyer says:

"Ask Questions and Get Answers!"

There you go, folks.

Don't complain unless you get involved.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Fashion Week!

Trixie it's me your reporter-on-the-streets Aggie again, I Taconiced into the city for some action with Tippy and we're at the Muddy Cup in Staten Island now with Shaun White and Lance Bass and three non-identical triplet models from Hungary drinking chocolate margaritas -- we met them backstage at this menswear show yesterday.

Donatella's not as much fun anymore now that she's clean. She almost tripped over me leaving Bungalow last night - and nothing fell out of her pockets.

Anyways, getting back to my reporting, this is apparently what the Hudson librarians will be wearing next Spring.

I call these looks "Patience" and "Fortitude".

PS: I wanna know what Demi Moore's secret is... she's twice the whore I am, and three times older... how she look this good?

PPS: Trixie I thought you'd like this picture from yesterday's Betsey Johnson show...

PPPS: I hope this look is part of Hudson's waterfront redevelopment proposal... Oh and I heard the latest draft of the city’s waterfront plan is now in the hands of the Common Council. The draft is online as of yesterday at

PPPPS: How about this for the Red Dot wait staff?

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Only in Hudson, Kids, Only in Hudson

Wow this is cool Trixie - my first real blog posting! It's me Agnes. Tippy's helping me out here with the computer stuff at the Muddy Cup...

So I met this wacky chick named Cindy once in Claverack at a roadhouse near the Merchant Ivory palazzo. She was hip, she bought me a few drinks and let me bum a KOOL.

I was just reading some paper this morning outta the trash can and there she was in the New York Post! Talking about that fag senator just like you've been Trixie! And now I'm online talking about her!

Cindy in the NYPOST!

"I HAVE nothing for this ruined ex- politico ex-senator ex-nice family man Larry Craig. Never met him. Never heard of him before. I don't care a fig about him. I don't care about Idaho either. I don't even know where that is, other than you get to Chicago and make a left. Aside from a baked potato topped with sour cream, who-the-hell ever makes mention of Idaho? So, I have no horse in this race. It's just that in my limited, not-very-smart view, his guilt is primarily hypocrisy.

The rest of the crime, if in fact Craig is gay, is of our making. The tawdry solicitation leaves us partly to blame. Draping homosexuality in shame is what forces the weak to hide and lie and rail against it publicly in order to cover themselves privately. A guess would be he spoke and voted and campaigned against it in fear for himself. To draw a curtain around his own being. Those Enron guys probably didn't start out bilking billions. They started small. A little here, a bit more there. It's always the first step. Suddenly you're in it up to your eyeballs. Same with this shivering little scared mess of a man. Terrified of his own self, he early on made one statement. Then maybe had to back it up. Then he maybe enlarged it. All in mortal dread that his innermost voice might make itself heard.

Possibly someday, if all of us, each with our own demons, could wash away the stain of whatever tints our sexuality, this pathetic soul would never have picked a bathroom for a bedroom."

She uses too many highfalutin words here but still ain't that a gasser? Small world Cindy and me huh two old broads in a pod.

Your Reporter Agnes

PS: my BBQ friends Two in Greenport just sent me this!

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Toe-Tapping in Hudson

Who knew it could be this easy to get rid of Republican Senators?

I'll enter the vice squad just to snag a few more Republicans -- and you thought that all of those hours spent in bathroom stalls were wasted! Not at all! Now, you can put them on your resume as EXPERIENCE!
Anyway, did you know that here in Hudson, we have our own toe-tapping code?

Why yes....

When the Amtrak is three hours late, coming down from Albany, all you have to do is wait in the stall at the Amtrak station.

Here's the "Hudson Code", in case you didn't know. Just tell 'em Trixie sent ya.

Three TOE taps - "I'll suck YOU off behind the building, across from the station."
Three HEEL taps - "You'll suck ME off behind the building, across from the station."
One TOE tap, five HEEL taps - "There's a Stair Gallery auction on the 15th."
Four more HEEL taps - "It's Continental furniture."

Hudson, New York - where furniture is more important than sex.