Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I thought....killing yourself right before the holidays....such a drama queen!
Couldn't you have waited until AFTER the holidays? I mean, really....
Then, I though, how sad....
Yes, he lost a fortune, but it's the holiday season, couldn't he have found ONE other reason for living other than money?
I keep saying it, no one listens...
Who needs money when you're getting blow jobs?
Or, whatever the female equivalent is...Lick Jobs?
Glass half full, ya know?
Six billion people in the world.....half of them live on less than two dollars a day!
They live on less money than the cost of a venti soy latte at Starbucks.
(Every now and then I like to joke about putting a Starbucks at Washington Hose...just to piss people off....it manages to annoy both sides of the argument.)
I'm sure that you can find other things in your life that bring you happiness other than money.
Even here in little old Hudson, there's so much! There's tons of snow and ice, and that's TOTALLY FREE!
Look hard, look deep, and please don't kill yourself right before the holidays.
It's just depressing.
Plus, it's already been done.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
On Tuesday nights, Jason's has FREE Indian food! Yes, free food. It's good, free Indian food. Which, there is no place that serves Indian food in this town. This is it.
Get over there and get some dinner!
Don't say I never told you.
(don't worry, it's not McDonald's).
Monday, December 22, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Did you see that they are looking for a new Common Council President?
The Common Council has twenty days to pick someone or else ....bum, bum, bum.....the Mayor gets to decide!
Last week, they called me and said,
"Excuse me, is this the Miss Trixie Starr residence?"
"Why yes, this is the Ms. Trixie Starr residence. How may I help you?"
"Well, Ms. Starr, the Common Council is looking for a new president, and we were just wondering...."
"NO! I'm sorry, I can't do it! Not another social engagement, PLEASE! Can't this town just run itself, anyway? Please, stop calling me! I'm busy!"
"Um..no...um...I wanted to say that we are looking for a new president, so, we have a special meeting planned on Monday, and that we won't be able to attend your Tupperware Party."
Everyone is pessimistic about the economy, but I got a call this afternoon from my Tupperware manager (true story), and she said,
"Trixie, we've noticed that you haven't had any sales lately..."
"Well, I don't know, I think it's just a bad market, and a bad economy and people aren't buying airtight plastic food storage containers as much as they should."
(In reality, I've just been lazy, and if it wasn't wintertime, it's quicker and easier to give hand jobs to married men....hey, it's cash, off-the-books. You want air-tight? I'll give you air-tight...but, that'll cost you extra!)
"Well, actually, Tupperware sales are still up. As a matter of fact, there was a great sale on cookware recently, we've been trying to promote it. I think you'll still sell well."
Ya gotta love the Tupperware lady! Even in a recession, she is still sunshine, daisies, and positive energy!!
I talked to my electrician today. Guess what? He's been busy lately! Seems that there's a lot of electrical work that needs to be done in this neck of the woods. There's a stable job!
Trixie's advice on how to survive this financial crisis?
Be willing to change and bend, and like me, do the jobs that the other gals don't want to do.....
Should I consider Common Council President?
hmmm.....well, they already got a few people interested.....plus, I give enough hand jobs as it is!
Monday, December 15, 2008
It seems that my very sophisticated "Mrs. Roper" poll determined this week that DRAG QUEENS are people's favorite part of Winter Walk!?!
"Drag Queens" won over "Kennedy Fried Chicken".
Well....if that's the case, then maybe drag queens should just take over Winter Walk!
The first thing I would change is the name.
Good-bye Winter WALK.
Let there be go-go dancing in the streets!
You don't even want me to THINK of the possibilities! We'd have to come up with a good wintery theme!
I'm sure the idea will meet with some resistance, though....
Just forget it.
The Mrs. Roper poll numbers can't be right. I'm sure it's just a silly mix-up anyway.
Friday, December 12, 2008
THIS IS NOT ME! I swear!
I mean, I like Skittles, but...not THAT much....
hi boyes i love to give blowjobs with some skittles in my mouth it really gets me into it that way you wont forget me..... . plus i love to be fucked really hard... i can also crossdress if your into that...
I don't even have to make this up....
Maybe Skittles because they don't melt?
But wouldn't you choke?
Anyone want to try? I got 50 cents and a dream!
How about Mike and Ike's? Or Mentos? They're vegan. This way, it'll be a cruelty-free blow job!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
These are some of the photos from the weekend before last, the Tom Swope and Carrie Haddad Gallery openings.
I figured it was a local artist who is opposed to the Taconic rat farms.
Monday, December 8, 2008
I first posted this on December 8th. I walked into Gillibrand's office this morning, and they confirmed her stance on gay civil unions, not gay marriage (and they re-iterated how EVERYONE should have civil unions, and leave marriage for religion).
January 23, 2009
Ok, another true story...
I logged onto Facebook today and it seems that one of my facebook friends wants Carolyn Maloney to fill Hillary Clinton's Senate seat.
Then, someone commented, what about Kirsten Gillibrand?
The response was, "NO! Gillibrand doesn't support gay and lesbian marriage equality! Maloney does."
Trixie Starr did some investigative reporting today (I'm not going to let my sister Brenda get all the glory!). The sign on Gillibrand's office door on Warren Street says "Open, please come in," so, I did.
Look at that! We have easy access to local government - democracies are amazing!!
Within two minutes, I received Gillibrand's position on gay and lesbian marriage. (It would have been faster if the printer wasn't finicky...)
Here's an excerpt:
"I believe we should have a Federal law that protects all civil unions across America to ensure that gay couples have the right to visit a loved one in the hospital and be eligible for other entitled rights and benefits of committed partners.
The discussion of using the term marriage is more complicated because for many Americans it is a religious right defined as a covenant between a man, a woman and God. Since the Federal government should have no role in dictating religious affairs, I believe from a Federal and civil perspective, "civil union" should be used as the government's definition for all such relationships, including marriage."
The letter then goes on to show her support of anti-discrimination and hate crimes legislation. It's all good.
Carolyn Maloney, on the other hand, supports full marriage equality, and you can read about it here. Just click the link.
Since Prop 8 in California, this is a bigger issue, and we have to make sure that our representatives are on the right side.
Now....for the record, I actually agree more with Gillibrand.
I believe that the government should ONLY recognize civil unions - FOR EVERYONE! Straight, gay, and whatever. Let religion cover marriage and let the government cover civil unions.
But...we don't live in France. And it's going to be a colder day (even colder than today) in hell before heterosexuals agree to relinquish the term "marriage" and go with with "civil unions".
It's a nice idea IN THEORY, but it's never going to happen.
My opinion is that Gillibrand's stance placates the people who don't want to hear the term "gay marriage", and it kinda placates gay people by saying everyone should be civil unioned. It's nice, but...
At this time, we need a more powerful voice, especially after California.
Plus, the term, "gay marriage" - just say it. Big deal.
Gay Marriage. Gay Marriage. Gay Marriage.
Canada, Massachusetts, Connecticut, they have gay marriages, and their societies haven't fallen apart.
I visited my family on Thanksgiving, in Hartford.
My five-year-old niece was playing the game of 'Life' with her friends. My brother turns to me, and with a shrug and a smile says, "Um, it looks like your niece in this game wants to get 'married' to a girl."
I looked at him and said, "Well, it's Connecticut, she can!"
And that's REALLY what it's all about.
My niece will know a world where gay people can get married and we have an African-American president.
Straight gals aren't stupid.
As a matter of fact, us gay guys could learn a thing or two from them.
For instance, I learned last week about the "Three Minimum Requirements", for husband-material men.
House. Job. Car.
Notice, "nine-inch dick" is not in the list. Nor do you find "washboard abs"....just...
House. Job. Car.
There's wisdom in the simplicity. The values and priorities are on stability, security, and long-term peace of mind.
In return, gay men can, and have, taught straight women a thing or two --- like how to give a good blow job. (Rule #1 - NO TEETH! Rule #2 - You can't give them often enough. Rule #3 - NO TEETH! )
Wednesday, in Albany, you'll find the LBGT Professional Happy Hour.
Gay men with JOBS!!! (And careers?) Woo-hoo! I'm there, sign me up!
LGBT Professionals Happy Hour!****************************************************************
Join us next Wednesday for networking, drink specials, and a chance to win the
bound script of the upcoming highly-acclaimed "Milk" film starring Sean Penn!
Wed Dec. 10 at 6pm at Midtown Tap and Tea!
Invite your friends, forward this event, and we look forward to seeing you!
At least he'll have a job; one of the three minimum requirements.
He still might end up as a raging alcoholic and drug addict who'll beat you in the middle of the night, have sex with your best friend, and steal your money, but, he'll have a job.
Be careful what you put in the minimum requirements.....
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Oh. Do you know that Hedda Lettuce is coming on Saturday?
Maybe if you never leave the house or visit this website, you might still be clueless. Who knows.
It's been a busy week for me. Contrary to common knowledge, I don't earn a living dressing in drag and giving blow jobs to "straight" married men.
....well, not in the wintertime.
Trixie Starr Enterprises, LLC keeps me busy during the week, building systems that make sure major financial corporations keep their accounts in balance. You know, typical drag queen work.
(and yes, there's more work lately....)
I have photos from this past weekend....give me tomorrow, I'll post them.
Well, I wrote this little piece on the flight earlier this week. Luckily, there's wifi service in this pizza place at a Holiday Inn in Chicago, Now, I can share it with you.
I wouldn't want you to miss it.....
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
It's a Saturday night a while ago and I'm sitting at Rocks, a gay bar in Albany, drinking my Corona and lime, sitting by myself, hoping that maybe I'd get a blow job. “Work and try to get laid”, that kinda sums up most of my existence lately...
The guy slitting next to me turns and starts talking.
"You missed it."
"Oh", I said, "what did I miss?"
"The go go boys. You missed it."
"Oh, that's ok," I said, "They're still floating around."
"This place is always kinda dead."
(Another person I met at a bar once yelled at me because I wasn’t ENGAGED or showed interest in his conversation….yeah, well, maybe if you weren’t so fucking boring, I’d be interested…)
"Today is my Friday."
"hmmm.." I nod.
"I don't work on Sunday or Monday, so today is Friday night."
I thought to myself, I was so glad that he explained that, because I wouldn’t have figured that one out on my own.
"This is the only thing to do in town. There's nothing else."
"Well," I said, "you could always start your own party!" I smiled.
He looked at me like I had three heads. That's not what he wanted to hear. My little life-lesson/pearl of wisdom rolled under the bar.
"Yeah, I work in security. Which is the most thankless, under-appreciated job!"
"Oh." I said.
Now, I wasn't about to go into it. I'm not this guy's therapist; I'm not even his friend.
And, like, what the fuck? Doesn't he have a hair dresser or bartender to talk to? Plus, if he's trying to get me into bed, it's not happening. Complaining about your job when you meet someone at a bar is not sexy, little Miss Mary Sunshine. Just buy me a few drinks, tell me I look thin and pretty, and you know what? if you’re lucky, I might just sit on your face to make you - and me - happy. Plus, it'll shut you up and put that tongue to better use.
For a moment though, I had a pang of sympathy. I work with the security guys at Jason's, and they're great. Their job is not easy, I wouldn't do it. Whenever I work with the security guys, though, in a wig and sunglasses, short skirt, tulle askew, my ass half-hanging out, they still give me respect. Ya gotta love 'em.
For instance, true story, there was one Whorehouse party, several months ago, and I was just walking along, in the bar, and this one woman walks by, and snatches my wig off.
I yell at her, “What the fuck? This is MY party, you don’t do this shit”. She throws it at me, then yells back and gets in my face while her girlfriends have to “hold her back”….it was like third grade.
I was not having it.
I would have kicked that fat mullet-haircut bitch right in her Walmart-sweatpants camel toe, but years of yoga practice told me, “Trixie, just get security.”
She was escorted out. Enough.
The security guys were great and they dealt with her, and there was no bitch fight on the dance floor.
I have enough scuff marks on my boots as is, and I don’t need to ruin my good pleather.
Anyway, back at Rocks, in Albany, I’m listening to this guy, because he’s doing all the talking, and I’m thinking, maybe he’s right, maybe working security is not easy and it’s under-appreciated.
So, I sit and listen.
And he complains to me some more about whatever. But, after a few minutes, I get up and leave. His "pick-up lines" weren't working.
This morning, I'm at the security check in at the airport, taking my laptops out and putting them in plastic bins (yes, I have two, shut up) and ya know what? The guy behind the scanner says 'Hi'. It was him.
This was the security job. He scans luggage. This was the stressful, under-appreciated security job!
Hey, Negative Nancy, shut the fuck up!
You sit on a stool and stare at a screen to determine if my dildos and soy milk are in plastic zip lock bags, and then have the nerve to complain to ME about me?
I’m glad now I didn’t put out because he doesn’t even DESERVE to eat my 'pussy'! (which, in case you were wondering, tastes like sweet nectar from the Gods – or so I’ve been told!)
Yeah, it's an under-appreciated job, because, DUH, the average person really cannot understand the amount of "stress" you have by sitting and looking at a monitor all day long! What, you're stressed because you're missing "Oprah"?
It's a government job with benefits.....and probably a pension!!! Who gets a pension anymore?
Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe people yell at him all the time. Maybe I should have yelled at him.
Anyway....where was I? What was my point? I don’t know.
I'm having a party on Saturday.
Just go and have fun. And stop fucking complaining. Life is a party!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Make sure you go tomorrow night! Did you make a reservation? It should be a BLAST!
Don't miss it.
Aren't these boys in the video adorable? In tight nurses outfits singing "Cool Jerk"? Ya gotta love it.
See you tomorrow night. Stop me and make me take your photo for Inside/Out!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Ok, Proposition 8 in California totally sucks.
I don't know what's going to happen now, but people are pissed, and it's going to take more time and resources organizing to change it.
Let's not forget Proposition 2 in California this election, which stops the confinement of farm animals -- and that one passed!
For that guy I met in Florida, from San Fran, who was a total pig bottom; for him, the California votes were kind of a wash.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Whatever comes up, whatever annoys me, makes me laugh, whatever. Open, flowing, you get it.
Well, put me in a room full of people, and watch out, because, I don't hold back much. I'm just blah, blah, blah...talking, talking, talking....telling people what to do.
That's what I'm good at. That's kinda why these parties work, because I just tell people what to do.
And if they don't do it, they get hit with my purse!
Ask Gio (Frank).
His arms are black and blue after every party. I beat him up - all out of love, of course.
He's used to it.
True story...I was at a gay single's retreat last month, and I start saying shit. Sometimes, I get on a roll, and I can't remember half the time what it is I said.
Today, I get this email (true story, names changed.....)
Since our Singles Weekend, Hank and I talk about you and your sage advice: anyone can get a date, just lower your standards. And so we have begun dating! A long distance relationship isn't ideal, but we're going to see how it works out. He's been here twice and I'll go to his home in a couple of weeks. I'm expecting him back here on New Year's weekend.
I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving, especially knowing that we enjoyed spending that weekend with you, we listened to you, and unless something has changed for you in the relationship arena over the last few weeks, someone is out there who'll be very lucky when he meets you.
I guess that kinda sums it all up, huh folks?
You just never know.
Just keep on going, doing your thing, try to be positive about it all, and put it out there....
Then, maybe, you might actually change and enhance someone's life.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
You stroll up and down Warren street from 6-8, freeze your ass off, and buy lots of stuff that you really don't need.
Let's keep this economy moving, folks!
Then, at 8pm, go get yourself something to eat.
Finish around 9:30, because that's when the doors open at Jason's for my party.
Bring a wig!
Hedda Lettuce is performing. Singing, dancing, satire, who knows? Really, it's going to be a fun night, a great evening out, and ONLY $25!! ($20 if you get the Reduced Admin card at the Five and Diamond).
It's cheap. Like me.
Now you don't have to schlep up to Awlbany or down to Manhattan to see a show. I bring talent to you! Right here, in little ol' Hudsonian Hudson. There's a party afterwards with DJ GIO!! and cheap decorations. You can get rip-roaring drunk - tip the bartender - and then stumble home, maybe with a little orally-fixated elf!
I'll give you a show and a party for $25. The blow job? You're on your own.
.......at least that's what my lawyers tell me to write.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Hudson Opera House or Trixie's Whorehouse.
They purposefully plan events the same nights as my party, just to annoy me.
Now, they're planning a Chili Benefit at $75/plate. I'm assuming it's decent chili and not the stuff from a can that I make.
At least this time, you're lucky. On Winter Walk night, you can go to the chili dinner at 8pm and then get out in time for the Trixie Whorehouse Hedda Lettuce Show at 10pm. Chili seating is limited to the first 60 people. I'll take in as many people the fire code allows, as long as they pay the cover.
Although, I don't know if I really want 60 people at Jason's who've just had a chili dinner.
I'll bring the air fresheners, just in case....
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Tomorrow, there's this book discussion group at the Opera House. "The Spirit of the Place" is a novel written in "Columbia", a "quirky Hudson River town".
A friend of mine read it, she said, "the town is known for having its cast of characters throughout the years."
hmmm....I wonder which town it's talking about.....and "quirky"?? Cast of characters? hmmm.
All I know is that I can't go. Why? Oh, have I mentioned that I'm in Fort Lauderdale this weekend? It's chilly today, it's barely 65 degrees, it was about 75 degrees yesterday, and I'm blogging pool side at a gay clothing-optional resort, with a cup of Starbucks. Doesn't get that much better.
um, Southwest $99 one-way out of Albany....what's stopping you?
At the current moment...true story...there's this cute guy sitting across the pool talking to his boyfriend, he's wearing a towel and nothing underneath. How do I know this? Because he's sitting with his knees up and there's a little man sac action dangling from underneath his towel.
It's amazing how even a slight glimpse of unobtainable scrotum can keep me entertained and amused.
Maybe there needs to be more scrotum action in Hudson? (is the plural scrotii? scrotae? e pluribus scrotum - 'Scrotum for Many'?)
I know what you're thinking....be careful what you ask for, Trixie....
Here's a story for ya....
So, last night, I'm giving this blow job, right? Now, I wasn't giving him the first class or business class service....but I was giving the "pay-an-extra-$39-and-get-more-legroom" service.
I'm a trooper, but he was your stereotypical WASP; stoic, unemotional, blah. I was getting bored and started thinking about that National Grid payment sitting on the counter at home.
That's the problem....you get one thing or the other. With the "Roller Coaster Boys", the sex is great! It's like going to the circus; loud and raucous, there's acrobatics and juggling involved, lots of props and a side show act....like a midget or a fat lady...
But, then you get the drama, too, the ups and downs, because they're only happy when there's conflict. And they call you up drunk at 3am, crying, because they never resolved the death of their canary when they were five....ugh...so tiring....I'm exhausted just writing about it.
Then there's the slow and stable boys, who don't like conflict. They make good husbands, but then you find yourself thinking about your mortgage interest rate while you have his dick in your mouth.
Thank God I got a fixed rate....that's what I was thinking....six percent.
It's either good sex & high drama or bad/no sex and no drama. So little in between... If you're getting bad/no sex AND high drama, then YOU got issues. Get yourself out of there, or just kill yourself.
Where was I?
Oh yes, I was giving him the "$39-extra-leg-room" blow job, and there was just no appreciation for my tireless - and UNPAID - efforts. We were in a holding pattern, and I was going to miss another flight.
At one point, I stopped, looked up, gave him my "Eve Arden from the Mother's-in-Law" expression, and, well, I think he got the hint.
Boring sex is better than no sex...I guess....maybe not.
I'm just too old for it....and I have other things to do, like promote Hedda Lettuce on December 6th! Wigged-Out Winter Walk! It's gonna be FABULOUS!
But, what was this blog post REALLY supposed to be about?
The Opera House discussion group!
oops. I get sidetracked.
Here's the info, below.
(Hey, Opera House, there's no such thing as bad publicity....as long as they spell your name right!)
Book Discussion Group
The Spirit of the Place
Author Appearance, Samuel Shem
Sunday, November 23, 1:30 p.m.
The Hudson Opera House presents writer Samuel Shem as a guest author at the Book Discussion Group for adults on Sunday, November 23 from 1:30 to 3:00 p.m. at HOH. The Spirit of the Place, a novel of love and death, of mothers and sons, of doctors and patients, and a quirky small Hudson River town. Filled with the ineffable Shem-humor. Samuel Shem (pen-name of Stephen Bergman, M.D., Ph.D.) is a novelist, playwright, and for three decades a doctor on the Harvard Medical School faculty. The discussion is facilitated by Lisa Dolan and is free and open to the public.
The Spirit of the Place tells the story of an expatriate doctor called home to Columbia, New York, in the early 1980s to face his own history and that of the place. It is a novel of love and death, mothers and sons, ghosts and bullies, doctors and patients, illness and healing.
The Spirit of the Place is Shem at his finest-compassionate, capacious, funny, full of big ideas and memorable personalities. It offers an authentic, unvarnished portrait of the medical profession and underscores the crucial link between the health of individuals and the health of communities.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I don't care. I'm at a gay bed and breakfast in Lawdadale....its 70-something degrees. Naked guys by the pool, Barbra Streisand playing in the background. Doesn't get any gayer than this! (well, I could be getting a blow job while blogging in drag, that would be gayer....I'll work on it.)
You could be in Lawdadale, too, if you wanted. $250-ish roundtrip from Newburgh. Share the room with a friend, under $100/night. Totally doable.
What, you can't afford it?
I used to have sympathy for people....but Hudson hardened me....even more.
Maybe if you stopped complaining about your life and blaming your "misfortune" on others or your past, or whatever, and took responsibility for the present, and stopped spending your money on booze or pills or all the other unnecessary shit and objets de whatever, you'll have some extra money and you could be in Lauderdale, too.
And, I don't want to hear all this liberal-fucking-bullshit about the poor and downtrodden. (Especially when it comes from "trust-fund baby liberals" who feel guilty about living off of Mommy or Daddy's money.)
Life is short. What are you waiting for?
An engraved Jet Blue invitation?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sorry I haven't blogged much lately....I'm working in the Windy City this week, traveling with another Hudson blogger.
Trixie's a working gal. I can't wait for one of the dozens of wealthy, single, emotionally and sexually available gay Hudson bachelors to come knocking on my back door and pay the bills.
Anyway, there's a party at Rocks in Awlbany tonight. It looks like there's a new website in Albany.....GayAlbanyOnLine.com
I briefly looked at GayAlbanyOnLine.com. A nice site, trying to help unite and educate the gay community in a small town in upstate New York....what a great idea!!
(GayAlbany.com was already taken.....I looked....a year ago....it was part of my imperialistic plan to slowly dominate the Hudson Valley region. Oh well. Curses! Foiled again!)
But, I'm sure that GayAlbanyOnline.com will prove to be a useful site with witty commentary, political observations, double entendres, and google images.
If not, you always have me, your devoted public servant.
BTW, did I mention Hedda Lettuce on Dec 6th? Winter Walk night?
I give and I give - and ask for nothing.
....other than pay the fucking cover at the door.
Monday, November 10, 2008
"So, Trix, do you update a calendar every month with a little star, like Good Party, Bad Party, after you count up all the money at the door?"
I was like.....um, no...
"Well, I tally up all the receipts, input everything into an excel spreadsheet - each party is a different tab - compare projected versus actual costs and income, and then make future party decisions based upon historical results and analysis."
Here's the secret "formula"
Good_Party = SUM('gogo dancers' + 'good music' + 'cheesy decorations' + 'hard work'+ 'promotion' + 'alcohol' + ('drag queen' - 'general aggravation from all above'))
OK, so my one (yeah right, only one, Trixie...) complaint is I'm tired of listening to people complaining!
"This isn't good enough, that's not good enough."
"The newbies of today aren't as good as the newbies of five-seven years ago."
I give credit to anyone who tries anything new. If you try and fail, it's still better than never even trying. Stop the whining, stop the complaining, get your ass out of the house, and have a good time.
Ya know what? Life is short. The past is over, the future - there's no guarantees. All we have is today.
So, don't take yourself so seriously, put on a funny hat, call up a couple of friends and go out and have some fun. Because that's what it's all about.
(.....and pay the cover at the door. Thanks! Love ya, Trix)