Thursday, January 31, 2008

Herman 2008

I received an email from Judge Brian J. Herman. He's running for Hudson City Court, and he is reaching out to the gay community in Hudson.

I said, "I don't know any gay people in Hudson, sorry..."

Are there any? I have no idea. Ask the Register-Star, maybe they know of a few.

Anyway, he seems like a nice guy, right? Why not?

I have no idea who that woman is in the photo.

Check out his website, www.Herman2008.com

I like it!

Is there a relation to Jerry Herman? You'll have to ask.

Who Knew?

Who knew?

This is what happens when you leave Tippy the Cat (from the Muddy Cup) at the computer....

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

'Valentine's' Day Party in Hudson!

Do you NOT know about this party?

Trixie's Whorehouse - the first party will be on February 15th.

DJ Gio and I are setting it up. GoGo dancers (male and female), great music, porn give-aways.

It's going to be THE thing to do in the town that night (which, granted, may not be saying much, but still....)

The idea is to

Bring the Whores Back to Hudson!

Prostitution is the history of this town. Call a spade a spade.

Hudson was once rollicking. People had fun. People got laid.

People made money.

Hello! Just keep the sailor boys happy!

There used to be more semen in this town!
(I know how I spelled it!)

Anyway, people are asking,

"But I'm heterosexual....will I feel welcomed?"

Honey, please....Just pay the $5 at the door, and we'll welcome you, OK?


It's going to be a Valentine's Day party.



Agnes will be there, too.






Monday, January 28, 2008

"Life on the river blends old and new in hip little Hudson"


Well, the Boston Globe article on our fair "Friendly City" must have forgotten to mention this blog.
Click there for the article.
Yeah, whatever.

PS - How many of the business owners mentioned in this article do you think voted for the current mayor? That's just a rhetorical question.

These are not mine


The following was sent to me from Edith, our gal with a camera phone, from the streets of Hudson:

So last sunday, Truxie and Edith were walking by the park and found a pair of red lace DKNY panties hanging out on the street. good thing that this is hudson, or i might have thought it was weird.

side note: Trixie you need to talk about the thank you/you're welcome waitress at the diner. she is so nice and happy and friendly. she really puts you in a good mood. granted trixie could not eat anything because the lipton tea is made with chicken stock, but she deserves a spot in gay hudson.


Trixie on veganism in Hudson:
I consider the sweet potato pancakes at the diner to be vegan-ish. The Columbia Street diner does serve vegeburgers....

The best restaurant for vegans in Hudson is Babba Louie's. DA|BA will kill just about any living thing and put it on a plate for you. Look at their menu! Elk. Who eats a fucking elk? That's just pretentious. They still serve foie gras, which (with veal) is probably the most torturous of any food.

Next you'll find Moose and Squirrel on the menu!

Give me until spring, if the foie gras is still there, I'm calling PETA. If most sane, rational people saw how the animals were treated, they wouldn't eat meat. I even heard Rachel Ray (in her infinite wisdom) on TV this weekend say, when catching lobster in the water, "That's why I buy my food in the grocery store, otherwise, I'd be a vegetarian."

We're done with Ms. Ray, right?

Eat more dick, ass, and pussy! Just leave the animals alone!

And I don't want to hear,

"But the foie gras was raised here in the Hudson Valley, we have to support it."


BULLSHIT!!

How about this,

"These lampshades were made from the skin of dead children, but they were made here in the Hudson Valley, we have to support it."

Is this what the Hudson Valley economy has come to?

Rats.


Sunday, January 27, 2008

Butt Piracy

I charge by the pound.

Miss Trixie Starr of the city of Hudson represented the 12534 on the Butt Pirate's ship, the SS Libertine.

It feels so good to be back in the cold. My nipples are perkier.

It was a publicity tour for Miss Trixie's Whorehouse. The new gay-ish, vegan-ish, porn-ish, weekly-ish, party starting Friday night February 15th at Jason's Upstairs. I'll give you more details once I unpack and do laundry.




I've been "spreading" the word.....and maybe a few sphincter muscles.


Picking up boys was easy!


I asked one guy to take a photo for my dear, sweet friend and fellow blogger, Rose Marie. This is what he took.




"Wait", he stopped me on the deck, "aren't you Miss Trixie Starr of Hudson; party promoter, political commentator, and dominatrix?"

"Why, yes, that's me."

"Then you must know ____________."

"Yes. Doesn't he own that big _______ house, down by the __________?"

"Yes! That's him!"

It's a small fucking world, folks.

I'll have the tossed Greek salad, please.


So many couples....not enough time....

Yeah, if you're so happily married, then why is your boyfriend sucking my dick?

Oh. You're BOTH bottoms? And that works....how?


He doesn't know it, but he's my new boyfriend.


I'm constantly hitting boys with my purse. Someone has to teach them RESPECT!


There was so much to eat, it's really hard for a gurl to keep her figure.


They were all up my skirt.




Really, not that much different than a night at the Red Dot.
(I love the one on the left...)

Fuck Me on the Piano Bar

Kids today. What will they think of next?

I can see his future in a piano bar.

Just put a dollar in the tip jar, smile sweetly, and walk away....

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Friendly City Dammit!


Oh, little town of ye olde gay friendly Hudson!

I bet you didn't know Hudson was called "The Friendly City" - I'll bet you thought "The Friendly City" was something Agnes had tattooed on her caboose.

Oh well. It's Hudson's official motto.

Agnes, honey, it's me, Rose Marie. Clean your act up, Hudson doesn't go for booze and dope! Everyone in town is talking about you, so why don't you keep your garish tales of your smokey late nights and your newbie New York City friends and their unleashed pets to yourself. We need uplifting inspirational stories of the glorious history of our friendly city to inspire our inmates and youth, not demoralizing tales of petty crime in alleyways. Why must you focus on the tawdry oral history of the hopefully long-forgotten lawless era, rife with prostitution, political corruption, gambling, alcoholic refreshment on Sundays, and Maybelline shoplifting sprees at CVS???

Is it any wonder that the Proprietors built the Hudson lunatic asylum at 4th and Columbia so enormous? The Library couldn't fill it with books if they tried, but trust me, they could fill it with residents of the Second and Fifth Wards in an afternoon.

The Grounds of our Lovely Prison


When old Tom Dewey was governor, things worked in New York. Not like this Eliot Spitzer downstate chump who wants to take our beloved prison away from us. It was a great place to send the inmates and our husbands. Now what will they do? And WHAT will it become? Some sort of fetish sex boutique hotel for lust-driven New Yorkers? Heaven forbid! Not while we have a Republican administration in Columbia County!

It used to be common to leave your Sedan DeVille or Riviera or LTD doubleparked all day on Warren Street as long as you had a "Hudson Police Supporter" sticker in your window - there'd be no problem. Today it's a $15 fine for just frowning at that woman in the parking uniform with the overprocessed hair. You know, I just saw a box of "Hudson Police Supporter" decals at the Watnot Shoppe closeout sale for two dollars and the smell brought back all sort of memories of times past but then that young lady from Newberry's or Woolworth's or whatever beat me to the Tanners with her $2.

Warren Street When Parking Wasn't The Enormous Problem It Is Today

My Hudson was a town where yellow gingham fabric was for frilled kitchen curtains, not for covering the Louisiana Purchase who lives on State Street between Third and Fourth. We taught our scrubbed obedient children to stay south of Warren and not associate with anyone with painted toenails or hairy forearms regardless of their sex. And if they did fraternize, well, then, they'd better not tell me about it.

I overheard from Tiffany Lampmann who's working the register over at Big Lots that the State of New York is giving the Hudson Opera House $1,000,000. That's a whole lot of smackeroos that otherwise would have gone to an antismack campaign in New York City. That calls for a party. At last now they can upgrade their programming.

Once, enlightning uplifting entertainment was found in Hudson, and the Opera House was our thriving cultural center. Madam Gazzaniga, Aunt Dinah’s Quilting Party, lyceum lectures, traveling troupes, boxing matches, minstrel shows, musicale performances, Swiss bell ringers, Irish comedy, German yodelers - and even private affairs such as debutante cotillions and poultry shows.

It’s hard to believe that this historic building was vacant for thirty years, and once faced demolition by dynamite - or worse! City Hall moved out of the Opera House in 1962, moving up Warren Street to where the National Bank of Dairies and Apple Farms once was located. Peebles then took over, holding their annual coat, hat and glove sale there until 1967. Then the Hudson Department of Cats held their annual coat drive there for the next two years, and well, then the Hudson Order of the Opossum Lodge moved in, and it was all downhill from there. The smell! You can ask Agnes and Fredericka about that.

Today, if you look at the Opera House programming brochure, all you see is odd items like "Traditional Dances of the Indian Subcontinent or Thereabouts", "Afro Fission Dance and Drum", "Nonobjective Art by Local Malcontents", "Learn How To Speak Just Enough English To Get a Green Card", and some really suspicious things they call "Duo Concerti" and "Yoga".

Is it any wonder that the movie theaters left Hudson and moved out to Fairview? Who would let their children be exposed to this?


Groups of Hudson Residents Enjoying a Pleasant Afternoon on the Lovely Promenade

I wish you kids knew Hudson when I did. It was a little piece of heaven, a riverside brigadoon for people like us, a secret town ruined now every weekend with rich city people and their antiquities. The cost of living in Hudson used to be affordable because there was no education and there were never any jobs or hope. Now with the new city people buying everything, the real estate prices and cost of living have gone through the stratosphere and you can't live here on government assistance anymore, as if bad enough can only get much worse as ever always heading down the lilac path.



A Birdbrain View of Hudson


Today, Hudson has turned into a playground for snobby rich New Yorkers. It's now a tourist spot for those slumming shabby chic hobnobbing gadabout flibberdigibbets, instead of that cozy sleepy town that no one cared about at all. If you could have lived there then you would have seen a much different place, it was a better place back then when there were no outsiders, if you ask me. The things that made it a nice place, like neighbors peering over your shoulder, friendly cops who looked the other way if they knew you, priests who took long walks in the park with your children, liquor stores that delivered to your house and floated credit accounts, the natural beauty of our unique local Hudson cement... heaven... it's all gone away, kind of like what has happened in Florida and Jersey. I'm sad at what has happened to my home town.


Local Jobs Heading to China


But things change against my will, unfortunately, and well, they tell me that life goes on.

At least Hudson has a Wal-Mart. And that's all I'm going to say about it, if you ask me.

Have a nice day!


Hudson's Beloved Patron Saint, St. Whinefred

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Last Night I Think I Had A Dream

Miss Trixie is entertaining sailors or pirates or butt pirates (for an extra $20!) on the USS Libertine of the Seas so I grabbed all the drink tickets this week and threw Tippy in my purse last night and hit the town.

Tippy is no help with a camera. Useless cat. This is the only picture I found on my phone this morning. Maybe Edith got some too she was running around a lot I gotta ask her.



I hadnt been down to Second and Warren since they closed Dons Candy Shop oh in 2001 or 2002 but it looks the same inside. It was a place where the kids hung out late. Where they used to pack the fudge is where the fudgepackers all gathered last night.



Vico is Italian for something. I don't know what. I know that "Fiat" means fix it again Tony. So maybe "Vico" means Vinny is cooking orzo or counting olives or cruising Olana or Calabrese originally or something equally foreign.

Yeah another really cold Monday night in Hudson. Who else was there last night? Edith. Truxie. Elmo. Charlotte and Miriam, the nuts who run the elder care facility on Allen Street. Velma the one who runs the speakeasy across from Kennedy. Carrie White and Tommy Ross the ones with the paint by numbers gallery. The Five and Dime chick. Big Momma. Hedda. Hillary Clinton. Eleanor Roosevelt. The Chubb Group of Insurance Companies. I dont remember!

It was good to see Big Momma. She was all dolled up, new hat, new wig, and a young buck by her side. She had her claws in him. Apparently the bitch aint been out much publicly lately because shes getting her Gee Eydie. I guess that means shes taking singing lessons from Eydie Gorme. But word from the slammer was that she sang like a canary all along while she was out of commission. Hudson aint no classy Catskills resort with a showroom. I dont know what she got in mind with voice lessons. Try singing at the Half Moon and they throw your Budweiser empties at ya. Try singing at Savoia and unless youre Eartha Kitt they boo you outta there.

Am I the only one who remembers that Eartha Kitt was blacklisted from performing in the US for making antiwar statements in front of Lady Bird Johnson at the White House? That girl was brave and had the courage of her convictions. Those arent the same kind of convictions Big Momma has. Where are these convicted people today? Monday was Martin Luther King day and Big Momma was obsessed with Eydie Gorme. Something is wrong in that. Tippy tells me Eartha Kitt said that one of the main reasons why our young people are protesting is because our involvement in Vietnam is not honorable. We have no business being there and they want to know why we are there. Eartha said that not Eydie. Vietnam Iraq whatever.

People mostly discussed two things at Vico. Either getting laid. Or dinner parties. Or getting laid at dinner parties. Or rugs on sale at Stair Gallery. Or getting laid at dinner parties on rugs on sale at Stair Galleries. Or why I had a cat in my purse.

The restrooms at Vico are spacious and unisex and have green ceilings.

That Justin offers a stiff one behind the bar. I know these things because I didnt have to get my flask outta my purse once last night. He put out a plate of cold cuts and bread so I made a sandwich. And stuck it in my purse for later. This morning it had pawprints all over it. Oh good Edith just sent me all her pictures. I dont recollect any of this.










That last picture I dont know. I didnt know that you could take pictures with a rotary phone also.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Hedda Hudson gives us the SCOOP!

Orgy in Greenport

Thank GOD we FINALLY found a gossip columnist!

True - a few months ago, I'm sitting at the bar of the Red Dot and some dude says to me, "So, you're the gossip queen of Hudson?"

I answered, "What the fuck do you want?"

I'm the gossip queen? Please. I don't know any good gossip, that's why I make this shit up. If I knew anything, I'd tell you.

BUT - Hedda Hudson KNOWS gossip!

If you don't have anything nice to say, talk to her.....

And if that dude wants to talk to me again, next time, buy me a beer!

Show a gal a little respect, dammit!

-Trixie


Darling.....I look great in black and white...

Well today was ALL about real estate....house, rentals and Joey Stefano!

The gossip I gathered, while sipping my café au lait at the counter and using my Chanel compact to discreetly see who was talking, was that a cute designer couple had rented the space next to Red Dot. Hudson restaurateurs can stop worrying about the competition of another dining establishment, and start saying “that’s just what Hudson needs, another FUCKING gay couple!”

The space next to Earthfoods was sold to landlord /property owner “Mr. B”. I expect a full gut job....similar to one of his other properties where 21c. currently resides @ 533 Warren. Let's hope he can garner a fashionable tenate...we could really use a "Fredericks of Hollywood" as my clear acrylic stilettos are getting a little worn.....

The fashionable antiques dealer returned from his château in the South of France this week...to the news he is a bonefide artist....he sold one of his delicious “porn collage” pieces titled “into the woods”.....there are some other pieces left (upstairs gallery) so you can go see the boys you’ve masturbated to on screens, art etc.....and if you want to step it up a notch buy a piece of John Findys pieces that feature “original” photographs of Joey Stefano mounted on limited edition plates .........honey they’ll make want eat everything on the plate!

So I gotta run there is a cosmo screaming my name......or it is the russian boy...I mean vodka.....(as we all know Amanda laWhore has the Russian for hire boys all to herself...leaving none for us).....

Hedda