Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
I said, "Hedda, I'm there!"
Naked tattoo-ed man on the invite? Please. Done.
Do you think that the Register-Star will be there to cover it?
(Every now and then, there's a Help Wanted ad in the Register-Star, looking for a Reporter....and I think to myself....Trixie, you can do it! I would do the entire job in drag, of course. Big steno pad. Back seat of the police car, following the cops into a crack den in my thigh-high white vinyl gogo boots, stepping over a dead body, flowing flower-print dress, head band, sunglasses. Hey, the job comes with health benefits. Why not?)
Where was I?
Oh yes, May 3rd....put it on your calendar!
Someone asked me the other day, "Trixie, do you perform?"
My response was quickly, "NO."
No. I write a blog. I don't sing, I don't lip sync. No.
I keep track of my expenses, and my life, on an excel spreadsheet. I'm most comfortable in front of a computer, or a pair of flats.
People want drag queens to be performers, not accountants. Drag Queen Accounting and Tax Preparation just never took off.
If senior group wants me to call BINGO numbers...yeah, that I can do, in a very deep voice, very LAWNG-ISLAND, very Trixie...
"I gotcha an 'N' Sixty - FAW-AH."
There's no reason for me to perform since there's some very good talent, right here in Hudson. I found this video on youtube. I have no idea who it is....someone told me they live in Hudson.
Friday, April 25, 2008
From a Marx Brothers routine:
"Taxes? Why I have an uncle who lives in Taxes."
"What? TEXAS, not TAXES, like cents, dollars...."
"That's where he lives, DOLLARS, TAXES!!"
The Hudson City School Superintendent, Fern Aefsky, resigned. Here's an excerpt from her resignation letter on the front page of the Register-Star this morning:
"During the past few months, there has been a focus on the wrong things, facilitated by a few people, which has disrupted the educational progress and been a waste of taxpayer dollars."
Good Lord. "A waste of taxpayer dollars".....
How many dollars do we have to waste?
Great. That's what you want to read in the morning, especially if you're a tax-paying citizen with no children in the school district.
It's just too painful to hear.
And you wonder WHY I put on a wig, sunglasses, and a Bo Peep outfit.
It's the only way I know how to deal!
....just wait, Trixie's going to start attending some meetings soon....
Last night was Dining Out for Life at four Hudson restaurants. 25% of the proceeds will be donated to local AIDS service organizations.
Four out of the following five restaurants participated. Guess which ones?
Kennedy Fried Chicken
I already ate dinner, but as soon as I found out, I ordered food and dessert and ate again (which is not difficult for this plus-size gal.)
Here's a disturbing statistic that was on the donation envelope:
"Half of all new HIV diagnoses in the United States are among people under the age of 25."
Anecdotally, I can confirm that.
About half of my gay male friends, or friends-of-friends, who are now sero-converting are in their early twenties, as young as 20 - 21.
And about half of the people I know who are now sero-converting, there's usually a drug-related story.
Trixie's Whorehouse is going to start having condoms available....but I can't put the condoms on all the guys myself!
Well, I could offer assistance, but there would be a small HANDLING CHARGE!
Which brings us to this week's poll, "How SAFE is Hudson?"
How often do you, ALL of you, straight and gay, practice safe(r) sex?
That means, use condoms - not just birth control pills - but condoms, for oral, anal, and vaginal sex?
Are the lesbians off the hook on this one?
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I was going to write this blog entry and promote a gay men's naked party in Albany this weekend, but the event was canceled.
I had the Ru Paul quote ready, "You're born naked, then the rest is drag..."
...yadda, yadda, yadda...
I was going to talk about gender roles and society and how gender stereotypes of who you're SUPPOSED to be just limit expression, careers, and opportunities for BOTH men and women.
Now, I'm like, forget it. Who the fuck really cares anyway, Trixie.
If you're a guy and you want to wear a dress, then just do it.
Same thing for gals. Wear whatever you want to wear (well, no fur...). Who really gives a fuck?
Just pay the cover at the door. Thank you.
Now, I got nothing to write about, except Hillary....will she make it? I don't know.
And someone sent me this Albany poll, if you want to take it. Tell them, "What's the Best?" in Albany.
(Like, the "Best Place to Buy a Wedding Dress"? Everyone knows, you have to go to Brooklyn for that.)
I went on a retreat to Easton Mountain this past weekend.
It's a gay-in-the-mountains-work-on-your-issues kinda place.
We learned that people are responsible for their own happiness. Got that?
Don't come up to me on Warren Street and ask, "Why am I not happy, Trixie?"
I don't know.
If you're miserable, it's your own fucking fault! That's why.
That's what I learned. What a great weekend!!
One night a month, I try to put together a party where people can be happy....the rest of the month, you're on your own.
So, on THAT note, let me promote NEXT MONTH'S party!
The next Trixie's Whorehouse Party is Friday, May 9th. We have the Charmed and Dangerous burlesque show at 9pm, then a Trixie's Whorehouse dance party following.
It's going to be fabulous. I have another outfit.
This is the deal, you could sit at home and be miserable, OR, you can get the fuck out of the house and have a good time once in a while.
Life is a cabaret!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Dear Hudsonites ---
The Hudson Opera House is sponsoring a talk with local artists tonight. You should go. Sorry, for the last minute notice. No one tells me anything in this town.
My question would be "WHY WASN'T I INVITED TO TALK??"
I am constantly arguing, why can't "ART" can't be something that's popular, entertaining, or even FREE, like "Get Smart" reruns?
Maybe now I know why they didn't invite me.
...plus, I have plans anyway.
Say "Hi" to Gio for me!
You are invited to join us on Thursday April 17th from 7-9pm for an opportunity to meet the Spring 2008 NYFA MARK artists and hear them speak about their work.
Hudson MARK Artists' Talks
April 17th from 7-9pm
Hudson Opera House
327 Warren Street
Hudson, NY 12534
For directions please visit:
Hudson Area Participating Artists:
Mimi Czajka Graminski
M. Scott Schaffernoth
The talks are free and open to the public.
MARK is the New York Foundation for the Arts professional practice program for visual artists throughout New York State. In the spring of 2008, 66 artists from six different regions are participating in MARK, a six month program that focuses on providing feedback, support and strategies for expanding each artists' visibility. Partnering organizations in the program include the Columbia County Council on the Arts as well as other arts organizations throughout New York State. For more information visit nyfa.org/mark.
Questions: Contact Christa Blatchford,
Program Officer, NYFA Learning
at 212 366 6900 x 338
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Yes, yes, and YES...
Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it.
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all
Just spread peace and love.....and your legs. Like Big Momma said, "Be nice to the gentlemen, Trixie, and they'll be nice to you."
Being me is not easy; the parties, the social obligations, the MEN!
Just being able to maintain my own level of beauty is a full-time job. (Sometimes I miss a wax appointment or two -- it's hard for us Italian gurls)
My dear, good friend, Edith Head called me up yesterday and said,
"Trixie, I need you to help promote these plays in Schenectady."
I said, "What's a 'schenectady'?"
"It's a city in upstate New York," said Edith, defiantly.
"What?" I said, "Someone named a CITY 'Schenectady'? Why? 'Ho-Ho-Kus' was already taken?"
"Fine, Edith. I will."
Go to Proctors.org. Edith wrote the paragraphs below, but you can pretend you read it the next time you see her...I just cut and paste.
...and don't think that just because it's call PROCTORS that you're going to get a lubed, digit rectal exam afterwards! If you want that, then come and see me after the show.
Love you SO MUCH! Kisses!
This is from Edith:
A handful of Hudsonites are taking over at Proctors, well not exactly but Hudson is moving north to Schenectady. (yes Trixie there is a Schenectady, it is not a “fantasy” place I hide out when I don’t want to go to the whorehouse).
For the past year I have been working as the Managing Director for the New Plays Festival at one of Proctors new venues: 440 Upstairs at Proctors in Schenectady, NY. We are halfway thru the festival and YOU should check it out.
General Desdemona, by Egan Reich Winter of 1846, Corpus Christi, Texas, The Mexican – American War. A time before Americans "invaded" other countries, and where military personal stage Shakespeare productions and fight for the role of Desdemona in Othello. Enter a young Ulysses S. Grant, he would play many parts in his lifetime, this one would be in drag. (And yes this did happen)
Battles of the Band, by Kevin Dobies. Rob Cantwell, front man for local rock band Ace Bandage, is desperate to break into the big time. But first he will meet his dream girl, lose his job and play the local battle of the bands. It's either the beginning of his triumphant rock opera or his personal swan song.
110 Flights, by Nahal NavidarA study of human relations set within the wake of 9/11. The tragic event opens wounds and an emotional dialogue between a husband and his wife, one of whom is a NYC cop and the other an Iranian-American grad student.
These plays are playing in repertory style until April 27th.
April 15 - 110, 7:30
April 16 - 110, 7:30
April 17 - GD, 1:30
April 17 - Band, 7:30
April 18 - 110, 7:30
April 19 - 110, 1:30
April 19 - Band, 7:30
April 20 - GD, 1:30
April 22 - Band, 7:30
April 23 - 110, 7:30
April 24 - 110, 1:30
April 24 - GD, 7:30
April 25 - 110, 7:30
April 26 - GD, 1:30
April 26 - Band, 7:30
April 27 - 110, 1:30
TKTS are only $26 Each! (for that you can get a burrito at Mexican Radio or watch a play with a dead Mexican)
Now, I can't even keep up.
If you're going to give me something called "Paper Products", OF COURSE, I'm going to use a toilet paper roll or something...duh.
(I have to promote Proctor's again, and I've already used a proctologist joke in the past, but(t), I'm sure that I can come up with another "finger-up-the-butt" line. I got a million of 'em! You think it's easy writing this blog?)
Exhibition starting Saturday, April 19th
Terenchin Fine Art in Catskill
462 Main Street
Group show includes work by Hudson artists Thomas Malic and Abel (as in Disco Abel).
You really have to go, because Disco Abel is such a nice guy.
I'm sure that there's something you need at Home Depot or Lowes for the house, pick it up beforehand. This way you won't feel like you wasted the $1.00 for the Rip Van Winkle bridge toll.
(Yes, 50 cents if you have the EZ Pass package.....now, you know that I'm driving because I know way too much about EZ Pass packages.....sigh....)
I can't make it, but you should go. Just don't drink too much, because you know that the police are at the bridge toll booth on Fridays and Saturdays stopping everyone. And don't slap the police officers, even if they're cute!
And it's ABOUT TIME!
First, you need to go to this link, and watch the video that a right-wing group created warning the people of Eureka Springs, Arkansas of a "homosexual infestation".
(thanks to our good friend, S. , for the link.)
Eureka Springs should only be so lucky.
Most gay boys won't travel to Brooklyn or Herkimer county for a good hook up, what makes you think we're going to go to Eureka Springs, ARKANSAS?? Is there a circuit party there?
NO TOWN that has ever been "taken over" by homosexuals has ever seen a loss in property values. Hello.
San Francisco? New York? LA? Provincetown? Fire Island? Fort Lauderdale? No one can afford these places.
It's about money, folks.
Monday, April 14, 2008
I'm out walking my dog this morning, and the lovable and talented Dan Rupe stops me.
"I'm having a sale! SLASHING prices!"
This Saturday and Sunday, from 12-5pm, Dan is selling some of his older collection. People, places, things, portraits, and nudes.
Many are half off. Some of his paintings will be as low as $50.
510 Columbia Street
Saturday - Sunday, April 19-20
Noon - 5 pm
Or, you can set up a studio appointment.
Dan's work is amazing, and he's a sweetheart!
not soon, but I have to get at least one more party out of it!
"Break it down, Bo Peep!"
"Don't lie to me, Bo Peep. Tell the truth, you've never been with a big guy before, have you?"
"It looks like Trixie was getting some tonight!" My response was, "It's this skirt."
OK...every now and then, I ask myself, "Why the fuck am I doing this?"
(That question came up more than once this weekend, with a pink Bo Peep outfit on the kitchen chair --- it's amazing ANYONE dates me....)
There were several moments at the bar, and on the dance floor (like during the conga line), when it was obvious that people were having a good time.
It was a totally mixed crowd, in every way....and people were happy.
And for a moment, people in this town got along.
It reminded me, that must be why the fuck I'm doing this.
So, thanks Hudson. I hope you had a good time.
(Because, after costs, I barely made enough money to pay for the dress and the boots! Being a GURL is not cheap!)
The next party is Friday, May 9th.
It looks like we're going to have a cabaret/burlesque show at 9pm, and then the party starts at 10:30....more details to follow...
Thursday, April 10, 2008
In case you've been living under a rock, I thought that I'd remind you that tomorrow, Friday, the 11th, is the Trixie's Whorehouse party. And if you haven't signed up on our guestlist before 6 pm, today, then you don't get the Reduced Admission cover charge of $5.
You're SOL, Shit Out of Luck.
Also, it's Gio's birthday tomorrow, so pretend you like him (that's what I do - just don't tell him that, ok?)
Now, in Hudson and environs, there are plenty of pussy-boy bottoms who need to be told what to do. You could all use a good, strong, Italian woman in your lives to make your decisions for you!
That's why I'm here.
Anyway, I received an email this morning that there's going to be ANOTHER fabulous party this weekend, on SATURDAY night, at DA BA, hosted by the even more fabulous DJ Tony@Large.
.....now, you know how much I like DA BA.....
The question of the party is "What's IN that Lemonade?"
Event: The P.L. Party
""What's IN that lemonade?!""
What: Bar Night
Host: DABA & Tony@Large
When: Saturday, April 12 at 10:00pm
Where: DABA Restaurant & Bar
In the spirit of unity and togetherness, blah, blah, blah, I will attend. (Plus, what the fuck else am I doing?)
The DA BA menu offers "Vegetarian Options Available" for my palate, which "translates" into:
"For you vegetarians, we're not going to bother putting together a menu item, we'll just scrounge around in the kitchen and see if there are any leftovers or side dishes we can put together on a plate. How about pasta primavera? Or fish? Do you eat fish?"
Well, as long as the answer to the question, "What's IN that Lemonade?" is not FOIE GRAS -- fatty, diseased, goose liver -- then I'll be there.
.....with a few PETA pamphlets, of course.
Tony is just lucky that he didn't schedule his party on FRIDAY night, the same night as Trixie's Whorehouse.
If he did, I wouldn't have been so fucking nice!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
What if the rest of us had to go to a meeting and face someone who knew our fate for the next five years?
Yet another shameless plug.
OK...I will leave you with this....true story...
I walked my dog this morning to the Promenade Park and met another dog walker. It was a little chilly, but still a bright sunny day, and maybe it's going to turn into a nice warm spring day, like yesterday...
We were looking out over the water and he turned to me and said,
"I don't understand, I come to this park and there's hardly anyone here. This park is so beautiful, it's a gift."
"I know," I said.
"Well, at least we're here, enjoying it."