Friday, August 29, 2008
I was at pm, the wine bar, and a friend walked up to me and asked,
"Are you going to the Taste of Mexico for Jerry Herman next week?"
I said, "What? No....it's not JERRY Herman, it's BRIAN Herman!"
If Jerry Herman was running for Hudson City judge, now, THERE'S a candidate I'd endorse!!
This town need more Broadway showtunes --- really.
If Jerry was running for judge, would Carol Channing throw benefits at the Red Dot and Mexican Radio?
Would Ethel Merman rally the troops at the old Fireman's home.
If you were caught loitering or didn't pay your parking tickets, would you be "sentenced" to community service at the next Stageworks musical?
For when my little pink wiggles
Some young maiden gets the giggles
Then I make my knuckles active
"My" he says "She's so attractive."
Then I move my index digit
And they both begin to fidget
Then I clench my palm
The preacher reads a psalm
When I put my hand in there!
Andrew, watch out.
Plus, Trixie has cash. Cash always helps, you know, "re-define" things...
Imagine me dating someone from the Register-Star? I would become Hudson's Mata Hare.
I'd have to dress like Meryl Streep in "French Lieutenant's Woman", as I walk down Warren Street with Andrew by my side - a cloak shielding my identity.
Also, in this hot dog eating contest, in his own age category, a ten-year-old won by eating three hot dogs in three minutes.
Three pages later, in the Register-Star, what do you think the editorial is about?
"Everyone must help reduce child obesity"
I'm not kidding.
After the front page article was about adults and children eating as many hot dogs as possible, the editorial is on child obesity.
The last line of the editorial is "We must not only encourage healthy eating habits, but lead by example."
What? Andrew? WTF?
Did the Register-Star write that editorial to offset the hot dog eating article or was it just the right hand not knowing what the left hand was doing?
Or, was it a joke?
I thought it was funny.
Anyway, Andrew Amelinckx, I am publicly inviting you to attend the next Trixie's Whorehouse party and the Bing Bamboo Room Burlesque show - as my date.
I might drag you back to the finish line before sundown. (Haha)
But, I'm gonna tell you something right now, Mr. Andrew - if we get married, I'm keeping my last name!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I have been scouting the country looking for a new outfit for next week's party....
There's a burlesque show with Bing Bamboo Room (which yes, is a DIFFERENT show than Charmed and Dangerous - they're not the same group...very different...) followed by the Girls Gone Wild Party with DJ's Lisa and Abel. I don't even know what to expect.
What do you wear? Who knows?
Plus, I've been selling Tupperware to anyone who will listen to my thoughts on Food Storage.
My lettuce is crisp.
Is yours wilted?
You need Tupperware.
Other than Lisa and myself (and maybe my friend, Edith Head), is ANYONE BRINGING TULLE TO HUDSON?
THIS TOWN NEEDS TULLE! AND LOTS OF IT! GIRLY, FRILLY, TULLE!!!
I look out my window, and there's signs of depression/recession in this stupid-ass economy.
Where's the fun? Where's the hope?
You might be looking to the democrats for hope.
Fine. I'll let you live there for now.
But, remember, next year, what Trixie is telling you now.
Hope is with you, today, and everyday. It's in the back of your closet. Just go in and pull out that tulle dress that you haven't worn in forever.
Slap on some lipstick, and instantly, everything gets better.
The rest will follow.
But first, start with some tulle.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Bing Bamboo Room Burlesque
Saturday, Sept. 6th!
$15 (show and party)
Pasties, G-strings, Contortionist, Side Show Entertainers! The WORKS!
This is real Vaudeville entertainment!
THRILLS AND CHILLS!
Followed by our GIRLS GONE WILD PARTY at 10:30 with DJ's LISA and ABEL
$10 Party (Reduced Admin cards available only at LICK)
Jason's Upstairs Bar
521 Warren Street
Hudson, NY 12534
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Is there a VIP lounge?
Can you get on the guestlist?
LICK is where it's at. Just remember, the next Trixie's Whorehouse is:
Who knew that so many people would attend my debutante Tupperware soirée!!
The Tupperware food mill was a big hit! We danced to salsa all night long!
(Well, I didn't make it, I don't cook...)
Order your food mill on-line! Click HERE.
Tupperware is NOT only about food storage, but also food PREPARATION.
It's not your mother's Tupperware. And this wasn't your mother's Tupperware party...
Unless your mother is a drag queen. Possible.
Thanks to Mario and Kevin at p.m. who were EXCELLENT hosts! They received a wonderful Tupperware liquid mixer for their time and efforts. And they will receive more fabulous products just for hosting! Hurry up and get your orders in! Email me.
I'm here to help this little town of Hudson, buy some much needed plastic....
If you want me in YOUR home, place of business, or even house of worship, for a fabulous Tupperware party, just email me, Trixie@GayHudson.com
I'll pack up the plastic, and I'm off.
I'm here to SAVE you money. Don't throw your food away, just lock in freshness!
Because, FRESHNESS, that's my middle name!
Tonight, at 6:45, for those who are interested, at City Hall, there's the public hearing regarding the new adult entertainment zone in Hudson.
Just go. Common Council meetings are fun. The hearing is only 15 minutes long....short and sweet.
Friday, August 15, 2008
I am just tickled pink to be your new Tupperware Lady!! I plan on dedicating my life to food storage.
The first 20 people who attend the Tupperware party on Monday night, Aug 18th, 7pm, at pm, the Wine Bar, 119 Warren will receive this fabulous citrus peeler!
Well, make that 19 people. This one is mine.
You might say, Trixie, what is a "citrus peeler"?
Well, it's an ingenious piece of organic polymer compounds carefully designed and molded to attend to your orange or lemon peeling needs.
You may ask, "but Trixie, there aren't that many oranges in upstate New York."
True. I use my citrus peeler for protection.
Get too close, and I'll cut you.
Hope to see you Monday night!
Lots of love,
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Dear Ms. Trixie Starr,
I was amazed to read in your humble blog that you were having a Tupperware Party. Thank goodness!
I have not been able to find any good, durable plastics in this town of mahogany furniture, marble table tops, and granite kitchen counters.
I am so happy that I can count on you, Trixie Starr, to bring good plastic back to Hudson!
I can see why a woman of your age, without a man to support her, would turn to Tupperware for income. I mean, you're not as young and pretty as you once were, and the competition on Warren Street at night is tough.
Thank God for America! The land that gives you, Ms. Trixie Starr, an old - let's just say - "lady-of-the-evening", opportunity and a stable income.
Trixie, my real question is this, without a man in your life, how do you do it?
Since I've been married to my high school sweetheart, I have no concept of the amount of loneliness and destitution you must endure on a daily basis.
Why, you must be Tupperware "kiwi" green with envy when you see these stable, supportive, nurturing, and healthy relationships in Hudson walking down the street, holding hands.
Is there a Tupperware product that can help keep your pillow dry from the tears as you cry yourself to sleep every night?
I only wish you the best, Trixie.
I'll be at your Tupperware party, and I'll have my credit card number ready.
Your dearest, supportive friend,
Thank you SO much for your warm wishes....and concern.
It'd be wonderful to see you at my Tupperware party, and yes, please bring your credit card.
I know your husband won't be able to make it, since he has to work late every night at the office. Those Albany government workers and politicians, they're known for the hours they put in...
Karina, I found this clip from Judge Judy which reminded me of the good times we had.
I hope to see you at pm, the wine bar, 119 Warren Street on Monday night, August 18th, at 7pm.
And remember, bring your credit card.
Oh wait, nevermind Karina....I have your husband's card number on file.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Trixie Starr is the Hudson Valley's newest Tupperware Consultant!
Come and join me at my FIRST Tupperware Party next week, at (p.m.), the wine bar, 119 Warren Street.
Free Tupperware give-aways! Host your own Tupperware party and you'll receive fabulous gifts!
"Trixie's Tupperware Party - When you care enough to bring out the GOOD plastic!"