Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Bar-Hopping in Hudson on Halloween

Dear Ms. Trixie Starr,

Please help me. I want to go to a party on Halloween. Where should I go?

By the way, I love your blog. You are my connection to the real world, a beacon of hope, and the light of my life.


Love,
Your Adoring Fan
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Dear Loser,

First of all, there's always a party under my skirt. You'll find more MAN and more WOMAN than you can handle!

On a separate note, don't ask me where to go. I don't know. Read the fliers posted on the Red Chopstick window. That's where I get all my information.

Most evenings, the best live entertainment is a Common Council meeting. You should go there.

Believe it or not, you can go bar-hopping in Hudson on Halloween. There will be more than one party.

pm is doing "Witch/Bitch", a Halloween Party, the Red Dot is having a party - see the flyer above with DJ GIO!!, AND Jason's Upstairs Bar is doing a Helloween party with Melissa Auf Der Maur from Smashing Pumpkins (appropriate for Halloween)
Is that enough for you?

That's why I'm doing my party next weekend...Saturday, November 8th.

There's just TOO MUCH EXCITEMENT in Hudson this weekend!

I can't believe I'm writing that...


Hopefully, you'll be recovered from this Halloween weekend, and you'll want to go out again, to Trixie's Whorehouse, next weekend. Although for some of you, I know, going out twice in one month might be too much!

You might miss an episode of "Redecorate Your Home Like a Gay Couple" or whatever shit that's on TV now.

This Saturday, November 1st, buy your ticket to the Stageworks gala. There's a series of short one-minute plays and a dinner.

Yeah, $125/ticket. The plays and food better be good for $125. I mean, I got tickets to Xanadu on Broadway, half-price, and, that was the best fucking play ever made! They were singing AND roller skating, at the same time. C'mon, you want more? Xanadu is the best fucking play ever written!

I have no idea what to expect on Saturday. I think that's the way to approach this....

StageWorks/Hudson

*Fall Gala 2008!*

*PARTY WITH US...
**...and "be the event!"*

*Saturday, November 1st, 2008.*

Gala attendees submit a one minute play and Stageworks produces it
with professional actors at the benefit! Fine food and spirits and a
spectacular live auction round out the evening.

*Act I- Reception...**Setting: The Gallery at Stageworks/Hudson, 5:30 pm*

*Act II- Stageworks' spectacular live and silent auctions...**Setting: Max
and Lillian Katzman Theater, 6:30pm*

*Act III- Dinner is served...**Setting: The Gallery at Stageworks/Hudson,
7:00pm*

*Act IV- The Third Annual Stageworks One Minute Play Festival...**Setting: Max and Lillian Katzman Theater, 8:00pm*

*(One minute plays written by you, our gala guests, produced & performed by
Stageworks.)*

*Dr. Mark Fruiterman, Auctioneer / **(McDaris & Findysz), Silent Auction
Curator*

Tickets to the 2008 Fall Gala are $125 each.
To purchase tickets to the gala or for more information contact us:*
*By Phone: (518) 828-7843*
*By Email: contact@stageworkshudson.org*


The best fucking play ever written - Xanadu.

-Trixie

The "Jessica Fletchers" Perform at Bard for Obama


IF I was going to start a band, I would call it the "Jessica Fletchers".

It would be six gay men, all dressed like Angela Lansbury singing folksy rock songs and Broadway show tunes....and solving mysteries along the way!




Every time the band came into town, there would be a murder, a dead body in a basement.
"And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling Jessica Fletchers!"

But, I can't do everything.

And, there already IS a band called the "Mother Fletchers", and they're doing a performance at Bard for Obama, which is nice. (They don't solve mysteries. Although, one mystery is why do they call themselves the "Mother Fletchers"?)

I'm thinking that on Election Night, if Obama wins, it will be a great time to get laid. If he wins, people will be happy; drunk and idealistic about the future.

Then there's those McCain people, you KNOW that no one there is gettting laid election night! Especially if he loses!

Although Cindy McCain will probably put out on election night. She'll throw him one, a "pity fuck".

Why Cindy? You're beautiful, you have money, why are you with that loser? Yeah, McCain was hot when he was a prisoner of war....but now, he's a big jerk.


I would've kept him as my Prisoner of Love! I have handcuffs.

How much you want to make a bet that Cindy's on top? She's the one really in control. You know it. John takes orders from her.

(I dated a couple of military guys - they LOVE taking orders. You would think that military guys are all butch and top-like. Wrong. Big Bottoms. "I give orders all day, I just want to let go at night." Fine. I'll tell you what to do, you do it, that works for me...done. When you get a guy like that gals, just go with it. Ride the wave.)

The Palins will be having sex on election night. Why not? I bet they have sex every night. They're Republicans, they probably don't really use birth control (yeah, like WITHDRAWAL works...) That's why they have seventeen children...

You KNOW what he uses that goatee for, right? A gal likes a little tickle!

What was I talking about? I forget...

Sarah Palin, Angela Lansbury, pussy-licking....

Oh, yeah, the Mother Fletchers!

Go see them at Bard and GO GET LAID FOR (A) CHANGE!

Come get fired up at Bard College on the eve of the Election!
Monday November 3rd

6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.

Free admission Bertelsmann Campus Center at Bard College appearing live at 7:00 sharp

Mother Fletcher

HOMERerotic at Findustry



Ok, I stole the term, "HOMERerotic", from someone who walked in.

In case you haven't seen enough gay porn in your life, (and gay porn with Norman Rockwell paintings) then go to Findustry on upper Warren Street. Seven hundred block. You'll find it.

I don't understand this artsy-fartsy stuff. Can someone please explain it to me? You know what, don't even bother.

The only guy I want to see a photo of is Mr. Ben Franklin, on a crisp $100 bill!! I'll even accept five photos of Andrew Jackson! That's porn to me!

"Just leave it on the night stand. Thanks, pal! See ya next week!"

This art stuff, I have no use for it.

(Sorry for the cell-phone photos...better than nothing, I guess.)

Love ya,

Trix


Who are these people?


Please, stop complaining. Wait until they DON'T want to fuck you.
Then complain.
Hubris. It can happen to you.

Monday, October 20, 2008

FREE Compact Flourescent Light Bulbs@ Herrington's this weekend!

Why should we stop at the Hudson lampposts? Duct Tape Child Care!

This Saturday and Sunday, at the Herrington's Grand Opening, 1 Graham Avenue, in Hudson, every person will receive a FREE compact fluorescent light bulb.

Go get one.

AND, there's hot dogs and cider to help benefit some college fund. Someone tell that reporter, Andrew "whats-his-name" from the Register-Star and maybe we can see him swallow a dozen hot dogs in five minutes....

I will personally donate three dollars on Saturday for every hot dog you eat within five minutes. Bet? (But, I want it on video.)

Get yourself a new light bulb, because this town needs new lights!

Have you ever walked down Warren Street and noticed all the lampposts duct-taped together?

Ok, who's idea was that? With all the duct tape?

I won't even let my dog pee on those lampposts, they're so tacky.

(haha...get it...tacky!)

Don't blame gay men for this one.

No card-carrying male homosexual who would EVER EVER allow lampposts to be duct-taped together!

(Lesbians? I don't know.....I'm not going to touch that one today....)

In some cases, on some lampposts, it's the WRONG color duct tape!

Clutch my pearls!!

At least use black duct tape! WTF is wrong with you!?!

We have to have SOME standards, people.

Thankfully, Herrington's has a SALE on duct tape this weekend - $2.49/roll -- 2' by 60 yards. National Grid should buy a few rolls for the lampposts that don't have duct tape - yet.

The bigger issue is that the Common Council is now debating replacing the lampposts in town. The town might actually OWN the lampposts as opposed to renting from National Grid.

True.

Thank Ms. Haddad for doing the research!

I don't know which posts or light fixtures will be chosen, but I agree that we could do with fewer posts, and we could stagger the posts on the street.

Time will tell what the Common Council decides, but there could be some major energy and cost savings in the future if we make the right decisions now. Go to the Common Council meetings, if you're interested.

Meanwhile....get some more duct tape.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Now it's the ANT'S turn! BUY! BUY! BUY!


You know who the grasshoppers are. They're the ones who've fucked up this economy!

They're the ones who've said:

"Oh, dahling, yes, I'm planning on remodeling everything!"

Even though it's fine, and doesn't need remodeling.

They've been borrowing against their equity. Now their house value has gone down and they're "upside down" in the market. They owe more than their house is worth.

No one should have given them any money...


More grasshopper talk:

"Oh, dahling, do you like this Blah-blah-blah designer underwear? Oh, that's right, you wouldn't POSSIBLY know...honey, Banana Republic is NOT designer. Ha. Ha. Ha. You kill me with your limited fashion knowledge!"

I'm such a sexy grasshopper, I can't even LOOK at myself!

We sat in silence as the grasshoppers said:

"Aren't you going to the FUSHIA party? No? Why, I'm meeting ALL my drug dealer friends there! You should go. REALLY. It'll be good for you. Why don't you stop by my Federalist-Victorian house with matching Queen Anne surround-sound-o-vision TV? Honey, see how the good half lives!"

They did it all on credit. They're over-extended.

Now, the grasshopper's gig is up.

Meanwhile, the ants are the working girls of life.

We may not be fabulous.....or pretty....


We have long been IGNORED by the grasshoppers...

But, the working ants - and in some cases - AUNTS -


...have squirreled away our money, knowing that we could never rely on any MAN to take care of us! (Especially those flaky artsy-fartsy types!)

We didn't over-spend. We were happy with what we had. We were frugal.

Sometimes, we took on a second job, in the evenings, just for some extra cash...


And the grasshoppers have, once again, fucked up everything; over-spending, over-indulging, trying to impress who-the-fuck knows?

But ants have CASH.

And now is the ant's turn!

BUY!

BUY stocks! BUY bonds! BUY foreclosed houses! There are TONS of deals everywhere!

It's the ant's turn to save this economy!

We can do it!

Drag King Show in Catskill Sunday Night!

Lesbians in Catskill?

Of course.

I think Catskill is a more lesbian town, with all that outdoorsy stuff, Home Depot and Lowes.....Hudson's more gay male; antiques, fancy restaurants, all these fucking artists.....and now there's piano bar in Hudson - well, at 'pm', there's a piano in the bar now.....

It's just a matter of time before you'll find a group of gay men singing "Clang, Clang, Clang, Goes the Trolley!" at the piano.


I'll save that for my retirement.

Although the GAYEST thing in Hudson is the fact that the Country Squire B&B has a Country Squire station wagon in the driveway. Thanks for that, Marlo.

That's the gayest thing in Hudson....I had a poll once and it won.

(...and of course, when I say GAY, I mean it in a GOOD way....)

Hudson has an ice cream parlor called "Lick", which is kinda gay.....although the name would qualify as lesbian, too.

Why do straight people even live here? I have no idea.....

:)

Trix

Bring me back to the Clinton Blow Job Era.....


Did you watch the debates last night?

pm bar on Warren Street now has a GREAT flat screen TV. They are going to play the elections on November 4th, watch them there. It's a nice place to hang out.

I was there last night watching the debate.

McCain's a jerk. Just a big jerk.

That's my political analysis. What else needs to be said?

There are some McCain/Palin posters around town.

Who are those people? I mean, really? Why McCain? The past eight years of Republicans have taught you what? Nothing?

Take me back to the Clinton democratic years. I would LOVE that the biggest issue the country could come up with was "Did the president get a blow job?"

Remember, they thought about impeaching him over that.....a blow job.

Now, the DOW is down (big time), we're in a war, health care costs are out of control, jobs are leaving, and people want to vote Republican?


Bring me back to the Clinton Blow Job Era.

The economy was up, people were working. Remember, there were "Sign-On Bonuses"? You would get a bonus just for TAKING the job.... (I actually got one of those in '97....wonderful....I did see a $200 sign-on bonus at the McDonald's in Catskill last week...so, I guess they're still around.)




You MUST MUST MUST go to the Blue Tsunami event on Saturday. Help support the democrats.

It's at the Basilica and that's a great space.

There are going to be several bands, including Hudson's Mother Fletcher! YAY!

And Moby! (who's not gay, but he is vegan, which counts for something. He's a sensitive straight guy, we like that.)

Get all the Blue Tsunami details here:

BlueTsunami.com

Just buy the ticket. (I know you, you spend enough money on all sorts of stupid shit you don't need, spend your money on something worthwhile.)

Blue Tsunami is the place to go this weekend, people are coming in from all over. Which means, DIFFERENT FACES. So, you might actually get some action in this town!

I can't GUARANTEE that you'll get a blow job at the event, but you know, it'll be Democrats, so at least you'll have a chance.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

ANNE RUBIN Benefit Tonight at the Dot 6-9


Anne Rubin

Candidate for the

103rd Assembly District

Benefit at the Red Dot

Tuesday

October 14th 6-9pm

Anne is running against Marc Molinaro.

For more information on Anne, click HERE.

From the Hudson City Democratic committee:

Anne is pro-choice, and openly supports marriage equality. She fully understands the necessity a of smart green, local economy. She believes in smart growth, protecting our open spaces and our rural character while concentrating development in smaller areas with strong oversight by the local community. Creating support for local businesses and farms will benefit all families in the district, because they won’t have to travel so far to get what they need.

Anne Rubin will strongly support a circuit breaker law, which will limit the percentage of income that anyone will be expected to pay for property taxes. But beyond that, she will push for a complete change from property taxes to income taxes. Property taxes are regressive and outdated. Income taxes are the fairest system that we have for funding our schools & governments, with each person paying according to their actual means.

She will make a great Assembly Member.

The requested donation is just $25 and includes a great Red Dot Buffet.

***************************************************************

Monday, October 13, 2008

Curler Buddy


Ok, when you thought you've seen it all.....

This is an actual craigslist posting. I did not make this up, I'm not this creative....

******************************************
Nice looking 50's guy looking for younger male who likes to have his hair set or set another guy's hair...love the curler experience; rollers, perms, pincurls etc. are all fun with the right guy!

Serious post--and serious replies only---I know there are others out there with this fetish--let's have some fun together; hot sex with another guy while both are set is hot! I can host--and willing to do so for the right guys!

********************************************

When I first saw CURLER BUDDY, I thought this:


I thought, "Oh, it must be an upstate New York thing...some lost Canadian or something...."

But no, he's looking for someone who really like CURLERS...as in hair curlers.

More power to you, babydoll. At least you know what you want, and you're not afraid to ask for it! Hey, there's a a lid for every pot.

Would you have sex in hair curlers?

Maybe the ladies (as in real, biological women) could chime in on this one.

Have you ever had sex with your hair in curlers? Was it on purpose? Was there a heightened sense of eroticism?

Should I run out to CVS now?

Do you have to start with the soft ones, and then build up to the hard curlers, the ones that require bobby pins? Or, is that too hard core?

Friday, October 10, 2008

Lee Musselman Exhibit Tomorrow

I doubt if this work will be on exhibit,
it's just what came up on google images.



Go see Lee Musselman's exhibit tomorrow, October 11th from 6 to 8, at Bruner's gallery, 621 Warren.

You don't have to tell Lee all the stuff I said about starving artists, in my last post, below.

I don't think Lee reads my blog, or something. Who knows? There's something Luddite about him. I might be able to get in under the radar with the post.

Don't tell him.

I don't want to OFFEND anyone....

Me?

Never.

This is me.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

ARTS WALK WEEKEND

Everyone's a fucking artist in this town.

Have you ever dated an artist?

IT SUCKS!!

They can't pay ONE FUCKING BILL on time, they have pretentious, stuck-up friends, and you have to listen to them tell you why paint splattered on a piece of canvas is worth $10,000 (when I could have done the same thing....for less...duh).

The sex is good, that's why you date them. Or, I should say, fuck them. Then, leave their starving asses.

Girls, listen to Trixie.....find yourself a good, Jewish accountant and marry him!

"Trixie, why Jewish?", you ask.

Bubbeleh, you go to his family's for Rosh Hashanah and Passover, and your family's for Christmas and Easter. Done.

You only fight over Thanksgiving.

Find someone who understands a ROTH IRA, someone who can take you to Lauderdale in the wintertime.

And the sex? Well, just TELL your accountant what to do. If he's a good accountant, then he's read plenty of tax codes, and he knows how to follow instructions.

Have sex with an artist....just don't get involved.

They're all fucked in the head. At some point, you'll be there at the theater, waiting for his lame ass to show up, it's 8:05, and he calls you, to say....

"Sorry, Babe, I can't make it. I was inspired and I had to CREATE!"

Yeah, whatever.

"I'm an artist."
is his excuse....for everything!

You'll feel bad because "he's so intelligent", or, "if only he'll get his break!"

Don't believe the hype.

Meanwhile, you're working double shifts at the Hoe Bowl in Catskill to buy him his fucking watercolors! And he's taking you out to RED CHOPSTICK on your anniversary, because it's the only thing he can afford.

It gets tired quick.

If you want, go to ARTS WALK this weekend....I don't know what's going on, pick up a blue flyer and read it.

Walk around town, buy art from local artists.

Just don't date them.

And, go to Wunderbar on Sunday night, 5-8pm, there's a benefit for Our Brother's Keeper, it's an AIDS Charity Organization. Here's the information. Just go.

More Musty....why not?

First and Warren


From Wasilla, Alaska to Hudson, New York.

Next Whorehouse Party - Sat, Nov. 8th - Country/Western Theme



Save the date - the next Trixie's Whorehouse Party is on Saturday, November 8th!

Ho' Down- Country Western Theme - $50 Prize for Best Costume.

With DJ GIO!!! (yes, he's back...mostly to annoy me...)

Bring out your Daisy Dukes!

More Photos from Trixie's Whorehouse - UNIFORM NIGHT!

Who the hell are all these people? Who invited them?

- Trix