Friday, November 28, 2008
Make sure you go tomorrow night! Did you make a reservation? It should be a BLAST!
Don't miss it.
Aren't these boys in the video adorable? In tight nurses outfits singing "Cool Jerk"? Ya gotta love it.
See you tomorrow night. Stop me and make me take your photo for Inside/Out!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Ok, Proposition 8 in California totally sucks.
I don't know what's going to happen now, but people are pissed, and it's going to take more time and resources organizing to change it.
Let's not forget Proposition 2 in California this election, which stops the confinement of farm animals -- and that one passed!
For that guy I met in Florida, from San Fran, who was a total pig bottom; for him, the California votes were kind of a wash.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Whatever comes up, whatever annoys me, makes me laugh, whatever. Open, flowing, you get it.
Well, put me in a room full of people, and watch out, because, I don't hold back much. I'm just blah, blah, blah...talking, talking, talking....telling people what to do.
That's what I'm good at. That's kinda why these parties work, because I just tell people what to do.
And if they don't do it, they get hit with my purse!
Ask Gio (Frank).
His arms are black and blue after every party. I beat him up - all out of love, of course.
He's used to it.
True story...I was at a gay single's retreat last month, and I start saying shit. Sometimes, I get on a roll, and I can't remember half the time what it is I said.
Today, I get this email (true story, names changed.....)
Since our Singles Weekend, Hank and I talk about you and your sage advice: anyone can get a date, just lower your standards. And so we have begun dating! A long distance relationship isn't ideal, but we're going to see how it works out. He's been here twice and I'll go to his home in a couple of weeks. I'm expecting him back here on New Year's weekend.
I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving, especially knowing that we enjoyed spending that weekend with you, we listened to you, and unless something has changed for you in the relationship arena over the last few weeks, someone is out there who'll be very lucky when he meets you.
I guess that kinda sums it all up, huh folks?
You just never know.
Just keep on going, doing your thing, try to be positive about it all, and put it out there....
Then, maybe, you might actually change and enhance someone's life.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
You stroll up and down Warren street from 6-8, freeze your ass off, and buy lots of stuff that you really don't need.
Let's keep this economy moving, folks!
Then, at 8pm, go get yourself something to eat.
Finish around 9:30, because that's when the doors open at Jason's for my party.
Bring a wig!
Hedda Lettuce is performing. Singing, dancing, satire, who knows? Really, it's going to be a fun night, a great evening out, and ONLY $25!! ($20 if you get the Reduced Admin card at the Five and Diamond).
It's cheap. Like me.
Now you don't have to schlep up to Awlbany or down to Manhattan to see a show. I bring talent to you! Right here, in little ol' Hudsonian Hudson. There's a party afterwards with DJ GIO!! and cheap decorations. You can get rip-roaring drunk - tip the bartender - and then stumble home, maybe with a little orally-fixated elf!
I'll give you a show and a party for $25. The blow job? You're on your own.
.......at least that's what my lawyers tell me to write.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Hudson Opera House or Trixie's Whorehouse.
They purposefully plan events the same nights as my party, just to annoy me.
Now, they're planning a Chili Benefit at $75/plate. I'm assuming it's decent chili and not the stuff from a can that I make.
At least this time, you're lucky. On Winter Walk night, you can go to the chili dinner at 8pm and then get out in time for the Trixie Whorehouse Hedda Lettuce Show at 10pm. Chili seating is limited to the first 60 people. I'll take in as many people the fire code allows, as long as they pay the cover.
Although, I don't know if I really want 60 people at Jason's who've just had a chili dinner.
I'll bring the air fresheners, just in case....
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Tomorrow, there's this book discussion group at the Opera House. "The Spirit of the Place" is a novel written in "Columbia", a "quirky Hudson River town".
A friend of mine read it, she said, "the town is known for having its cast of characters throughout the years."
hmmm....I wonder which town it's talking about.....and "quirky"?? Cast of characters? hmmm.
All I know is that I can't go. Why? Oh, have I mentioned that I'm in Fort Lauderdale this weekend? It's chilly today, it's barely 65 degrees, it was about 75 degrees yesterday, and I'm blogging pool side at a gay clothing-optional resort, with a cup of Starbucks. Doesn't get that much better.
um, Southwest $99 one-way out of Albany....what's stopping you?
At the current moment...true story...there's this cute guy sitting across the pool talking to his boyfriend, he's wearing a towel and nothing underneath. How do I know this? Because he's sitting with his knees up and there's a little man sac action dangling from underneath his towel.
It's amazing how even a slight glimpse of unobtainable scrotum can keep me entertained and amused.
Maybe there needs to be more scrotum action in Hudson? (is the plural scrotii? scrotae? e pluribus scrotum - 'Scrotum for Many'?)
I know what you're thinking....be careful what you ask for, Trixie....
Here's a story for ya....
So, last night, I'm giving this blow job, right? Now, I wasn't giving him the first class or business class service....but I was giving the "pay-an-extra-$39-and-get-more-legroom" service.
I'm a trooper, but he was your stereotypical WASP; stoic, unemotional, blah. I was getting bored and started thinking about that National Grid payment sitting on the counter at home.
That's the problem....you get one thing or the other. With the "Roller Coaster Boys", the sex is great! It's like going to the circus; loud and raucous, there's acrobatics and juggling involved, lots of props and a side show act....like a midget or a fat lady...
But, then you get the drama, too, the ups and downs, because they're only happy when there's conflict. And they call you up drunk at 3am, crying, because they never resolved the death of their canary when they were five....ugh...so tiring....I'm exhausted just writing about it.
Then there's the slow and stable boys, who don't like conflict. They make good husbands, but then you find yourself thinking about your mortgage interest rate while you have his dick in your mouth.
Thank God I got a fixed rate....that's what I was thinking....six percent.
It's either good sex & high drama or bad/no sex and no drama. So little in between... If you're getting bad/no sex AND high drama, then YOU got issues. Get yourself out of there, or just kill yourself.
Where was I?
Oh yes, I was giving him the "$39-extra-leg-room" blow job, and there was just no appreciation for my tireless - and UNPAID - efforts. We were in a holding pattern, and I was going to miss another flight.
At one point, I stopped, looked up, gave him my "Eve Arden from the Mother's-in-Law" expression, and, well, I think he got the hint.
Boring sex is better than no sex...I guess....maybe not.
I'm just too old for it....and I have other things to do, like promote Hedda Lettuce on December 6th! Wigged-Out Winter Walk! It's gonna be FABULOUS!
But, what was this blog post REALLY supposed to be about?
The Opera House discussion group!
oops. I get sidetracked.
Here's the info, below.
(Hey, Opera House, there's no such thing as bad publicity....as long as they spell your name right!)
Book Discussion Group
The Spirit of the Place
Author Appearance, Samuel Shem
Sunday, November 23, 1:30 p.m.
The Hudson Opera House presents writer Samuel Shem as a guest author at the Book Discussion Group for adults on Sunday, November 23 from 1:30 to 3:00 p.m. at HOH. The Spirit of the Place, a novel of love and death, of mothers and sons, of doctors and patients, and a quirky small Hudson River town. Filled with the ineffable Shem-humor. Samuel Shem (pen-name of Stephen Bergman, M.D., Ph.D.) is a novelist, playwright, and for three decades a doctor on the Harvard Medical School faculty. The discussion is facilitated by Lisa Dolan and is free and open to the public.
The Spirit of the Place tells the story of an expatriate doctor called home to Columbia, New York, in the early 1980s to face his own history and that of the place. It is a novel of love and death, mothers and sons, ghosts and bullies, doctors and patients, illness and healing.
The Spirit of the Place is Shem at his finest-compassionate, capacious, funny, full of big ideas and memorable personalities. It offers an authentic, unvarnished portrait of the medical profession and underscores the crucial link between the health of individuals and the health of communities.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I don't care. I'm at a gay bed and breakfast in Lawdadale....its 70-something degrees. Naked guys by the pool, Barbra Streisand playing in the background. Doesn't get any gayer than this! (well, I could be getting a blow job while blogging in drag, that would be gayer....I'll work on it.)
You could be in Lawdadale, too, if you wanted. $250-ish roundtrip from Newburgh. Share the room with a friend, under $100/night. Totally doable.
What, you can't afford it?
I used to have sympathy for people....but Hudson hardened me....even more.
Maybe if you stopped complaining about your life and blaming your "misfortune" on others or your past, or whatever, and took responsibility for the present, and stopped spending your money on booze or pills or all the other unnecessary shit and objets de whatever, you'll have some extra money and you could be in Lauderdale, too.
And, I don't want to hear all this liberal-fucking-bullshit about the poor and downtrodden. (Especially when it comes from "trust-fund baby liberals" who feel guilty about living off of Mommy or Daddy's money.)
Life is short. What are you waiting for?
An engraved Jet Blue invitation?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sorry I haven't blogged much lately....I'm working in the Windy City this week, traveling with another Hudson blogger.
Trixie's a working gal. I can't wait for one of the dozens of wealthy, single, emotionally and sexually available gay Hudson bachelors to come knocking on my back door and pay the bills.
Anyway, there's a party at Rocks in Awlbany tonight. It looks like there's a new website in Albany.....GayAlbanyOnLine.com
I briefly looked at GayAlbanyOnLine.com. A nice site, trying to help unite and educate the gay community in a small town in upstate New York....what a great idea!!
(GayAlbany.com was already taken.....I looked....a year ago....it was part of my imperialistic plan to slowly dominate the Hudson Valley region. Oh well. Curses! Foiled again!)
But, I'm sure that GayAlbanyOnline.com will prove to be a useful site with witty commentary, political observations, double entendres, and google images.
If not, you always have me, your devoted public servant.
BTW, did I mention Hedda Lettuce on Dec 6th? Winter Walk night?
I give and I give - and ask for nothing.
....other than pay the fucking cover at the door.
Monday, November 10, 2008
"So, Trix, do you update a calendar every month with a little star, like Good Party, Bad Party, after you count up all the money at the door?"
I was like.....um, no...
"Well, I tally up all the receipts, input everything into an excel spreadsheet - each party is a different tab - compare projected versus actual costs and income, and then make future party decisions based upon historical results and analysis."
Here's the secret "formula"
Good_Party = SUM('gogo dancers' + 'good music' + 'cheesy decorations' + 'hard work'+ 'promotion' + 'alcohol' + ('drag queen' - 'general aggravation from all above'))
OK, so my one (yeah right, only one, Trixie...) complaint is I'm tired of listening to people complaining!
"This isn't good enough, that's not good enough."
"The newbies of today aren't as good as the newbies of five-seven years ago."
I give credit to anyone who tries anything new. If you try and fail, it's still better than never even trying. Stop the whining, stop the complaining, get your ass out of the house, and have a good time.
Ya know what? Life is short. The past is over, the future - there's no guarantees. All we have is today.
So, don't take yourself so seriously, put on a funny hat, call up a couple of friends and go out and have some fun. Because that's what it's all about.
(.....and pay the cover at the door. Thanks! Love ya, Trix)
Friday, November 7, 2008
NYU, pre-law. Good for her, she'll have a job.
You should try the kugel, it's T.D.F! ....to die for!
Another delightful lesbian couple.
-Frank, just stand in front. I'm taking these apples and pumpkins.
-Marie, we HAVE apples at home. What are you going to do with a pumpkin with a butterfly on it?
-Shut up, Frank! I spent a lot of money here, I'm taking the centerpiece. Just stand there. Don't move.
More lesbians. I think on her side, it's all lesbians.
They're from Canada, or somewhere near there.
Frank and I, we're usually the only goyim at these things. We're used to it.
-MARIE!! Do you have to tell them everything?! All my business?
-What, Frank? I was just saying...
Look how beautiful.
Frank and I had such a nice time, we met some very nice people.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
A faithful reader sent me this link.
The chances of you seeing this are slim to none.
The chances of you being into guys, probably smaller. But I'm going to try anyway...
We were both on the 2:20 train back from NYC, you got off in Hudson.
You: salt and pepper spiked hair, gray tshirt and jeans, and super hot.
Me: Suit and tie, using laptop most of the ride. You may think I'm a bit young, and in that case, I understand, but I generally go for men that are older than me. You seemed like a real MAN. We caught eyes a few times towards the end of the ride.
When you were standing at the door to depart, I went to the bathroom to see if I could catch another glance. You got into a silver corolla with another guy, possibly your man, in which I would never be a homewrecker.
But in the event you were interested, hit me up and let me know what college and sport shirt you were wearing.
From Lambda Legal, how you can help:
"Donations are always helpful, especially in the current economic crisis (we just got an announcement today that Lambda will be laying people off). You can put links to our donation sites on your page...the LA Gay and Lesbian Center is also about to unveil a webpage to donate to the legal team. But in the days ahead, I imagine we'll all have plenty of opportunities to pitch in. Just keep people mobilized, dignified and vocal."
Here is the link to donate to Lambda Legal:
There are also several other organizations fighting to repeal this amendment. Here are several links for those of you would like to get more involved. Sign up for at the Equality California Action Center site to get direct news from the campaign and direct access to your legislators. This site will also allow to reply to any of their emails to add your name to a letter to a particular representative.
Here is the link:
Here is a link of events sponsored by the Official No on Prop 8 campaign:
Here is the link to the LA Gay and Lesbian Center which will have a donation page set up soon:
And for those of you who haven't signed the petition yet here is the link for that:
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
It's amazing. I really can't believe it happened. Did it? Maybe I'm living in some parallel universe right now. I'll wake up and the Republicans will be back in power.
I think it's interesting how Obama got into office on the idea of CHANGE.
Try running on "CHANGE" in Hudson!
Generally speaking, I get the impression that Hudsonites don't exactly love "change"; change on a local level and change on a personal level.
"Don't rock the boat, Trixie!"
"It won't work. Someone did it before years ago and it didn't work, why try again?"
"Just keep the same old street lights we got now!"
Do people REALLY want "CHANGE"? Or, are they afraid of it? Is it outside their comfort zone?
Locally, is Hudson willing to move from a manufacturing economy to a tourism/service industry economy?
Change is not easy.
On a personal level, have you grown or changed over the years? Did you quit the bad job? Did you get out of the bad relationship? Or, are you just stuck in the same old patterns?
Are you today the BEST PERSON that you can be?
A Buddhist monk comes down from the mountain after years of solitude and runs to the nearest (tofu) hot dog vendor. He buys two hot dogs with all the fixings.
He hands the vendor a twenty. The vendor pockets it.
After a few seconds, the monk says, "Hey, don't I get change back?"
The vendor looks at the Buddhist monk and says, "Change comes from within."
(sorry if you've heard that one before...ba dum bah!)