Friday, February 27, 2009

Those Sensitive Canadians Boys...


A sign on the streets of Toronto.

Trixie tells you what to do this weekend...

I know what you're thinking...

"Trixie, I'm so bored in Hudson, a little gay-ish town in upstate New York."

(gay-ish because of the architecture....)

"Trixie, I've met everyone there is to meet on Manhunt, and Craigstlist is just one disappointment after another. No pic, no response. What is there to do this weekend? And Trixie, WHEN, oh when, are you doing another party in town? You are the only person that brings happiness to my dreary, sad, lonely days."

I know.

Well, there's a TON of things to do in town this weekend!!!

First of all, Saturday, you can meet Scott Murphy who may just be our next congressperson!

He'll be at the 360 Meeting space....at 360 Warren...from 9 to 10 am!

Pop in and say Hi!

THEN....in the evening, go to the buffet at Doubles II...it's$15.

Last Sat of Month
BUFFET NIGHT
this Saturday, Feb 28th, 7 PM

DOUBLES II http://doubles2.com/

29 Church Street
Catskill, NY 12414
518 697-8833
If you have not already, please, pul-eeze, RSVP to Chip12414@Yahoo.com so we can plan the food. This is important...so please do your part

OMG - and did you see this?

***************************************************
Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, KS, are planning a trip Albany, NY on Friday, March 6. Please plan to attend information sessions and Non-Violent Civil Disobedience Training.

"The lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and allied communities are coming together to show that the message of hate that the Westboro Baptist Church (godhatesfags.com) spreads is not acceptable in the Capital Region.

We encourage all people outraged by this upcoming "visit" to
work together for a peaceful and coordinated response that highlights our
values being a welcoming and inclusive community. Fred Phelps thrives on
media attention generated by the counter-protesters, and we do not want to
help Phelps further his efforts in our area. The Capital District Gay &
Lesbian Community Council (CDGLCC)
hopes that the goal of all response
efforts will be to protect and respect the students, faculty and
administration of Albany High School and the University at Albany, the
targets of this attack. We look forward to the planning meeting and also to hosting nonviolent response training's and sign makings events here at the Center, so that we
can work together as a united community against hate."

Nonviolent civil disobedience training and sign making:
Sunday March 1, 2009 6-8pm and Monday March 2, 2009 6-8pm (RSVP's appreciated, space is limited)
CDGLCC, 332 Hudson Ave Albany, NY 12210

For more information, please contact Program Director Q Diamond, Capital District Gay & Lesbian Community Council at: 518/462.6138 or
qdiamond@cdglcc.org
***************************************************************

Ok, I went to GodHatesFags.com, and looked at their Picket Schedule.

They're going to picket Albany? Why?

Have you been out in Albany, and seen the gay scene there? Maybe there's some middle-aged government-worker couple that stopped having sex three years ago at Happy Hour, but that's about it.

If anything, picket for the LACK of gays in Albany.

(PS - thank GOD for the Professionals Night! Gays with jobs - my favorite kind!)

And I LOVE the phrase they use, "Fag-Enablers"!!

How can I get my own "fag-enabler"?

("Um, Trix, I don't think you need any enabling, you're doing just fine on your own!" says the peanut gallery.)

After Albany, they're going to Plattsburgh.

Plattsburgh!!

Haven't they heard of P-town? I mean, c'mon! If you're going to do an anti-gay protest, why Plattsburgh?

They protested in Oklahoma, too!

They protested Oklahoma's TOLERANCE on gays!!!

Good Lord.

Next Party - Sat. May 23rd

Trixie's Whorehouse - The White Party.

It's Memorial Day, you can wear white.

Love ya,

Trix

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Trixie and Obama go to Canada

My assistant, Clarisse.


The phone rang. It was the Washington Post.

"Hello, is the Hudson office of Trixie Starr, Investigative Reporter?"

"Why yes it is. Wait one moment, I'll get Ms. Starr on the line..."

Clang, clang, clang...

"Hello. This is Trixie Starr. Whaddaya want, fella?"

"Thank God! Trixie, we need your help! Obama is going to Canada and we don't have anyone to cover the story. Can you do it?"

"Where the hell's he going?"

"Ottawa."

"Ottawa? Fuck that! I'm not going to no fucking Ottawa! The gay scene in Ottawa sucks! Listen, this is what I'll do....he goes to Ottawa, I'll go to Toronto. I'll just read the local rags and make shit up. That's what I end up doing anyway."

"Trixie, that's a GREAT idea! I love it!"

"All expenses paid, right?"

"You got it, Trix. Oh, and if you want a little massage, well, you know what I mean, we'll throw that in, too!"

"I know, I know, put it under Miscellaneous Entertainment."

"Just get a receipt, Trix, that's all we ask!"

"No problem, kiddo. I'll have the story to you by Friday morning."

Anyway,

I was going to write some shit, then I read Tim Powers at the Globe and Mail, and he was better than I could have ever been!

"Are we so insecure as Canadians that we demand this saturation coverage of the American President's visit to Ottawa? Is it central to our identity that to feel good about ourselves we need Obama's first foreign trip as President to be here?"

Bunch of insecure Canadians, huh?

We like that.

We don't want any neighbor to the north feeling all proud and mighty. We don't want a neighbor like China, right?

Let's keep Canada insecure. Keep them guessing! Remind them who's boss.

Canada: The Greenport of the North.

Oscar Party

When you're sitting at the Red Dot bar, nursing your drink, looking around, do you ever play games with yourself, like....

There's a gun to my head, and I'm being forced to have sex with six people at the Red Dot, who would it be?

For some, can you find six people who have NOT had sex with you?

Yet.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Monday, February 16, 2009

Trixie Delight



We're coming, babydoll...

Easton Mountain Valentine's Day



Just a few for now....more parties on the way, at Easton, and in Hudson...
Thanks to GIO for the pics.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Things to do this weekend, other than my party:


Why you would want to go to an event other than my party, I have no idea, but here goes:

Event: FREE workshop performance of THE MARIA PROJECT February 13 at 8:00pm
What: Performance
Host: Stageworks/Hudson
Start Time: Friday, February 13 at 8:00pm
End Time: Friday, February 13 at 9:00pm
Where: Stageworks/Hudson

Description:

"I was told a family secret when I was seven years old...with the memory of that moment forever imprinted in my mind, it was time to find out if this secret was myth or truth. "

THE MARIA PROJECT is a groundbreaking solo show that explores a family’s compelling need to search for their roots.

Written and performed by Marcella Goheen, THE MARIA PROJECT tells the journey of a Spanish American granddaughter and her mother as they search for the truth behind a family mystery.

"A powerful and authoritative performer." LA Times

Intertwining theater, film and music, THE MARIA PROJECT features percussionist, Daniel Moreno, and documentary style footage edited by, Academy Award nominated filmmaker, Thavisouk Phrasavath, and original music composed by Grammy Award winning, Benny Rietveld. Originally performed at Brooklyn Academy of Music, THE MARIA PROJECT is in further development at Stageworks.

A free workshop performance of THE MARIA PROJECT will be presented at Stageworks/Hudson on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 8 pm. Space is limited. For more information or to make a reservation please call 518.822.9667 or email boxoffice@stageworkshudson.org

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Who let this video out?

Where are my Dunkin' Donuts Coupons ?!? Bitch!

Dunkin Donuts

Bitch, I saw you!

You were in my mailbox yesterday, stealing my Dunkin' Donuts coupons, weren't you?

I don't care if there's a recession.

I don't care if you lost your job.

THOSE ARE MY FUCKING COUPONS!!

Hand them over, bitch!

I want my free coffee on Wednesdays and my free flatbread egg white sandwich!

That's right!

You or your skinny-ass boyfriend better NOT come North of Warren if you know what's good for you, because I will beat the shit out of you and your mother-fucking-South-of-Warren asses!

Here, North of Warren, people just turn and look the other way while I'm pounding your ass!

No one fucks with anyone's Dunkin' Donuts coupons, here.

Shit.

Don't make me take my weave out.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Trixie's Valentine's Day Weekend at Easton Mountain


Hi --

My next party on Valentine's Day will be held at Easton Mountain.

You can visit their website, http://www.eastonmountain.com/programs/trixie_vd09.html.

They are now taking reservations.

DJ GIO!!! will be the DJ, and we'll have three go go boys!!

Overnight stay starts at $69, and it includes breakfast, a bed, and the party!

Hot Tub. Sauna. Gay guys. Great music. GoGo Boys. Overnight Stay. Food. Tupperware.

Think of the possibilities!

What is Easton Mountain? Well, it used to be a nudist camp and ski resort before some gay guys bought it. It's on 165 beautiful acres and it serves as a gay retreat. There are workshops on intimacy, yoga, couples, sex. The weekends when I'm there, it's going to be big party weekends. More parties are planned for March and April. Bring your own booze. There will be mixers for drinks.

For so many gay men, I find, a common issue is being able to CONNECT; connect love and emotions to sex, connect with other guys and develop friendships. Easton gives gay men a safe space and atmosphere to explore themselves and develop these connections - as opposed to feeling detached; detached from sex, from reality, and from other people.

I'm really happy that I'm doing parties up there, and I'm dragging that gavone, Gio, along with me for the ride. :)

More parties in Hudson in the spring, when it gets warm.

--Trix

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Hudson's Dogs

Me and my dog.


The DogsofHudson.com promotional campaign is everywhere!

You would think that DogsofHudson.com would be the new gay Hudson hook-up site, but it's not. Well, not yet. (They should remember to renew their domain name every year or else Trixie Starr might pick it up!)

They have a flier at the gym.

Me at the gym


The flier said that dogs in Hudson can't order crepes from Le Gamin.

Well, you haven't met MY dog, have you? She calls in her order to Le Gamin, and they deliver it on a tray.

My dog and I have a deal -- whenever we go out to eat together, she gets the meat, I get the rest. For instance, if we visit Kennedy's Fried Chicken, she gets the boneless chicken breast, $1.75. I get the sweet potato pie, $1.50. It works.

Yes, some of us Hudsonians have PETS, and we like it that way - less tuition, less therapy!

And less school tax.

Hello.

One of the suggestions for your dog on the new DogsofHudson.com flier is:
  • drop some kibble into an empty plastic soda bottle and leave the top off. He'll get to toss the bottle around to make the food come out.
I think it's a great idea!

Why do we, as a society, think this is an acceptable form of exercise for our dog, but, God forbid, I suggest a similar tactic for your obese child!

Put their food into a plastic ball or something and roll it down the alleyway. Make them run for it! They'll burn a few hundred calories right before dinner, more if it's freezing cold outside.

Do you want THIS for your child?

Like everything in life, you'll only appreciate it if you have to work for it.

For instance, with some people, sex comes easily. Now, I keep a nice, hot, uncut Latino boy in a cage in my basement.

I got him at Walmart, or maybe it was Big Lots.
Family Dollar? Aldi?
I forget.

Why sell only goods manufactured by people from third world countries, why not sell the people themselves?

He was marked down.

Nowadays, more people are keeping their sex partners hostage, it's a trend.

Oh, babydoll, what happened?
This should be a lesson to all you pretty queens!
You're pretty now, and boys let you get away with shit, but see what can happen...


Where was I?

Oh yes....the uncut Latino boy in a cage in the basement...that's right...

Every now and then I let him out, and make him run around the house. I chase him down before I have sex with him. It burns calories.

If you ever see a drag queen chasing a naked Latino boy down the streets of Hudson, that's probably me. He got out. Although, it could be someone else.

You see it so often now in Hudson, no one says anything, or even bothers to look.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

GayHudson.com Logo, the new Symbol of Hudson?

The new symbol for Hudson?

People ask me all the time,

"Trixie, how do you do it? You know all the news in town, plus, you're so glamorous, how do you ever keep up with it all?"

I politely smile and say, "Babydoll, it's easy, I get my Hudson news from three places, the Register-Star, the bar at the Red Dot, and the fliers on the window of Red Chopstick. All three I consider equally reputable sources of information. As for the glamor, you're on your own, kiddo."

Take it from me, if you hear it at the bar at the Red Dot, you know it must be true.

For instance, last night.....

Someone told me that it was in Hudson that the word, "cocktail" was first used in print.

Considering that this town was known for whaling - and now "cocktail" (although I don't know anyone who's getting enough COCK or TAIL in Hudson!) -- it would appear that the GayHudson.com logo - a whale holding a cocktail - would be the most appropriate new symbol for the town!

Either that, or a prostitute holding a cocktail.



Either one works for me.

Sexy Senior Screw Up


To say it happened in Valatie....

Did you read? The senior center could be in breach of their grant!

Since I am never one to take something at face value, I called up this guy I fucked once in Valatie to get the REAL story! You know me, I always like to get to the BOTTOM of things!


My source tells me that those sexy seniors in Valatie intended to use the grant money to make Grannie Porn!

(Warning! This clip may be considered offensive to some!
It's those straight people, they're such kinky fucks.)



GILF = Grannies I'd Like to Fuck.

My source tells me that the New York State grant was actually intended to make Gay Latino
porn, but after the grannies got control of the camera....well, they started to party like it was 1899!

Friday, February 6, 2009

The media is dead. Long live the media.

All fat ass. All the time.

The Independent is dead.

The twice-weekly publication closed up shop this past week, which now leaves us with the Register-Star....and yours truly, Ms. Trixie Starr....as local news sources.

:)

In the Register-Star today, the editorial column states

"We have ethical standards that will not allow us to print unsubstantiated information -- like a blog does."

What? Please....I have standards.

For instance, you will never find a nude full frontal shot on GayHudson.com. Never -- but, butt shots are fair play.

...as are fat people.

And fat butts, well.....that goes without saying!

Maybe that's what the Independent needed, more butt photos! Or, at least some escort ads in the back pages. Then, they wouldn't have gone out of business.

Although, how many "escorts" are there in Columbia County? Three?

Maybe just a couple of old whores left over from the good old days of Hudson!

No teeth make for better blow jobs!

The Register-Star editorial goes on to say,

"Help us do better. Tell us what you want and need from us."

Oh, where do I start?

First of all, the web version should have everything the print version has. If you're a subscriber, you should have access to the entire newspaper on-line. I would pay 50 cents a day to not have to deal with paper.

Secondly, it would be nice if the Register-Star disagreed with the mayor on an issue. I can't remember the last time the newspaper voiced an opposing opinion. Thanks for going with the status quo! What's the problem? Will the Register-Star lose the Price Chopper circular ads if it has a viewpoint that's too controversial? Get the balls out of your purse!

And lastly, they should hire me.

That's right. Why not?

...people would read....trust me....
You want me to cover the High School wrestling match?
It's an "away game"?
I'll do it!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

"You don't have all wealthy people."

Where will wealthy Hudsonites eat now?

Did you read the Register-Star today?

The Schroeder building may be on the market, the one on Greene Street.

The building is yet another upstate New York abandoned factory. This one, I think, used to manufacture toy pianos.


Someone, Mr. Rabadi, is interested in turning the building into a diverse food court, he is quoted in the Register-Star as saying, "They have little booths, Chinese on the right and Japanese on the left. Indian on the right, Greek and Middle Eastern on the left [and so on]," he said.

"We will try to create something different. You have to understand, we need something to accommodate people in Hudson. You don't have all wealthy people."


Oh, really? Hudson is NOT filled with wealthy people?

Funny, I was talking to my dear girlfriend and neighbor, Brooke Astor, the other day at the Hudson Grand Buffet over a plate filled with pork fried rice and crab legs (it's her favorite). We were saying the same thing.

Mr. Ribaldi, you're right. You don't have all wealthy people in Hudson.

Notice that in the food court, there's no plan for a fried chicken booth.

Hmmm...why do you think THAT is?

I think Kennedy's has cornered the market on fried chicken in this town.



....and you don't fuck around with fried chicken.

Back in the Saddle

Hey, it pays for the airfare to Florida.


After a much needed vacation, Trixie is back from Lawdadale (where else?) and is now watching the snow fall in upstate New York.

I know what you're thinking....

"Miss Trixie, how is it that you, in this recession, are still able to jet off to Florida for the week?"

It's easy, ladies....

You have to be willing to do the work that the other gals don't want to do.

And make sure you get paid in cash....in advance.

Anyway, I'm back in New York with some great tips on how you can save money this winter!

First of all, don't forget the FREE INDIAN FOOD at Jason's on Tuesday nights!!!

AND -- a little secret -- I shouldn't even tell you --- there will be less for me ---

Go to Cascades for $1 bag of six day-old bagels....I get a bag every week and put them in my freezer! Toast them, they're good as new!

:)

That's all of Trixie's Tips and Tricks for today!

See ya tonight at Jason's!