Tuesday, March 31, 2009

VOTE!


Don't forget to vote today - it's a special election for Congress!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Carnal Carnies





I fondly remember the first time I saw the Bindlestiffs. I was at the Hudson elementary school.

When I saw the sword-swallower, even though I was in an elementary school gymnasium, carnal thoughts ran through my head.

Wouldn't it be nice to date a guy with THAT talent?

..sigh...

Anyway, this Sunday night, you can see it yourself.

Leave the kids at home. It's a night out for adults.

Bring a date, your partner, whatever. Who knows, maybe the show will put you in the mood and you'll have sex afterward?

Sex on a Sunday night? A school night?

Go crazy.



March 29, 2009
Jason's Upstairs Bar
521 Warren Street, Hudson, NY
Showtime: 8 pm. Admission: $15 ($5 discount for clowns in make-up)
Tickets/Info: 518-828-8787 http://www.jasonsupstairsbar.com
[This performance is recommended for adults]


These shows promises a legendary lineup of circus feats, sideshow marvels, and world-class entertainers featuring
* Ringmistress Philomena
* Kinko the Clown
* The Contortions of Ekaterina Sknarina
* The Eccentric Comedy of Ambrose Martos
* The Exquisite Juggling of Sean Blue
* The Amazing Sword Swallowing of Mr. Pennygaff
* and Francisco Monroy, the Musical Maestro

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Applebee's


I know what you're thinking...

"Trixie, what the fuck? You haven't updated your fucking blog in weeks, gurl. What happened? Are you dead?"

Gentle readers, thank you for your concern.

I've been working. A gal's gotta make a living....somehow....

The new wait staff at Applebee's on Fairview


I'm coming home to Hudson, for two reasons; to try out the new Applebee's on Fairview and to vote in the Congressional election on March 31st.

I can't decide which is more important.

........................................

Ok, I've been sitting with this blog post for around a half-hour now.

I don't know where to go.

The opening of Applebee's is so much material and nothing at the same time.

I searched youtube and there's dozens, if not hundreds, of clips about Applebee's. There was one, "Rapefest at Applebee's".

(I'm not making this up.)



But, don't get too excited, you've seen one Applebee's rapefest, you've seen them all....

Dull. Overcooked.

Plus, it's not a REAL rapefest....just a bunch of teenage boys PRETENDING to rape each other.

How droll!

We can all just sit back and laugh at them. Oh, look at them, a bunch of teenage boys playing "Rape" at Applebee's! Those crazy, wacky kids!

I guess they're practicing for prison or something.

Plus, what is a rape-FEST? Is it like a music festival, except, there's rape? Can I buy a t-shirt?

(Granted, it is totally inappropriate and politically incorrect to see a rapefest video at Applebee's. Rape is degrading enough, but to be raped in an Applebee's bathroom? Does the degradation not end?)

Where are you going with all this, Trix?


Rapefest? Applebees? Ann Jillian?

Is there any connection? No, not really...

I don't know.

Don't forget to vote on Tuesday! It's a special Congressional election. That's all I got, folks.

-Trix

...sometimes you get a good blog post, sometimes, you don't....


Say Goodnight, Trixie.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Whisper Sweet Banking Regulations in my Ear

Trixie, when are you coming back from Canada?
Well, folks...what are my options?

I know what you're thinking....

Trixie, when are you back?

Soon.

It's hard to leave a place where I'm getting laid and getting paid in what is now considered the world's best financial system.

"But, Trixie", you say, "who cares about money and sex? There are art shows and free wine and good friends, and..."

yeah, yeah, yeah...

Fine. I'm coming back just in time for this weekend's festivities!

guess I have to leave Canada....party's over...



Abel's Recession Rainbows - Sat. March 14th - 6-9 - Abel's Studio -
Near the St. Charles Hotel


Other Nature - Carrie Haddad Photographs
318 Warren
Sat - March 14th 6-8 pm


Jason's b-day party
521 Warren St.
10pm - close

"Trixie, make sure you post this weekend's events! There's so much happening!"

Ok, fine. Like what?

"Like Abel's opening or the Carrie Haddad new exhibit! Both are happening on Saturday! You can get totally smashed and then go to Jason's birthday party with DJ GIO!!!"

Well...when you put it that way....

Then, I guess I'll have to leave Remington's with hot naked gogo boys and lap dances and.....sigh...liberal Canadian laws...

Oh well, I'll be right there...

I think I still have at least a $40 CREDIT with this one, eh?

Socially liberal and fiscally conservative Canadians!
A country without sub-prime mortgages? How sexy is that?
FUCK ME NOW!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Hudson, the town where people have PETS!


Some people in Hudson have children. Some of us, have PETS.

Some have both, and some are crazy.

For those of us who have PETS, we are sometimes chided for spoiling our animals.

I always thought, 'What's the big deal? So, I spoil my dog, so what?'

Until the other day, when my dog, Veda, came up to me and said the following:



Now, I know how my dog REALLY feels about me, and sadly, about Hudson....

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Let a Merman Song be Your Umbrella!

A friend had a recent facebook status:

"Debbie has nothing to live for."

Luckily, all those years of working the suicide hotline, Trixie knows a cry for help when she hears one!

(They have since replaced the suicide hotline workers with an automated service. Just as well, it was a downer.)

I immediately responded with some sage advice.

"You need a good Merman tune! Everything's Coming up Roses! Put it on. Sing it now!"

It always works. Guaranteed.

Feeling glum? Economy got you down?

Get yourself a good Merman tune. Turn it up full blast! Don't worry about the neighbors. You have horsehair plaster walls, no one can hear it anyway!

Sing along!



I know what you're thinking...

Trixie, it won't help.

Just try!

Try putting out a little positive energy and stop taking yourself so damn seriously! Get out of your head for just a few minutes, and take a look around you!

Got no diamond, got no pearl,
Still I think I'm a lucky girl.
I've got the sun in the morning
And the moon at night.
Got no mansion, got no yacht,
Still I'm happy with what I got.
I've got the sun in the morning
And the moon at night.

Even the Merm didn't take herself too seriously..


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Fotomat


Thank God, someone reminded me, I left my prints from the Easton Mountain weekend at the Fotomat in Monticello!

Shit, maybe it's too late.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Planning "The White Party"

(l. to r.) Trixie, Erika, and Gio plan the next Trixie's Whorehouse party

The other day, Erika, Gio and I were sitting at Jason's, over some leftover cheesecake and Indian food, planning the next "Trixie's Whorehouse" party.

The theme is going to be "The White Party"; it's Memorial Day, you can wear white now. It'll be just like the "White Party" in South Beach. Exactly like that, actually.

During the heated discussion regarding streamers, Gio said, "I don't want people to think we're being racist by planning a 'White Party', you know, with Obama in office and all."

I stopped and looked at him.

"We're planning a PARTY, Rose, not a Klan rally! It's Memorial Day, it's summer, wear white. Big fucking deal. It has nothing to do with race relations! It's a party, not a political statement!"

"Just as long as no one's offended or left out..." said Rose/Gio.

"They wear white," I'm annoyed at this point, "if they don't want to wear white, they don't have to. They can throw a sheet over their head for all I care."

"Then it would look like a Klan rally," chimed in Blanche/Erika, who barely looked up from her phone, texting her date for the evening.

"I can't believe I'm having this discussion!" I said, "What are people going to think? There's a white supremest drag queen in upstate New York throwing parties?"

Afterwards, I googled, 'white supremest drag queen', and this is who came up...

..eventually...

Trixie's Whorehouse

The White Party

Saturday, May 23rd

Memorial Day

Jason's Upstairs Bar

Wear white, if you want to.

Like I care.