Thursday, April 30, 2009

Dining Out for Life

So, like....
I run this website called, right? For, like, two years now. So, you would think that someone would tell me that Dining Out for Life, a charity fund-raiser for the AIDS Council of Northeastern New York is happening today...
Yeah, but no.
I have to find out because I'm on someone's email list. Thanks.
Maybe it's because I usually write about blow jobs and wet Tshirt contests....and I make up stories about wars and fighting villagers in mid-Hudson Valley towns?
Restaurants will be donating at least 25% of their sales to help provide essential services to those living with HIV/AIDS and cutting-edge HIV prevention programs throughout the region.

Participating restaurants are:
* Baba Louie's Org. Sourdough Pizza, Hudson (Dinner)
* Ca'Mea Ristorante, Hudson (Lunch, Dinner & Cocktails)
* Mexican Radio, Hudson (Lunch, Dinner & Cocktails)
* Red Dot Restaurant & Bar, Hudson (Dinner)
* Vico Restaurant & Bar, Hudson (Dinner)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Where's the Best Place in Hudson to get a Blow Job?

"In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking..."

A hundred years ago in Hudson, the only place to get a good blow job was in a brothel on Diamond Street.

Now, you can get a blow job almost anywhere!

There are SO many places to get a blow job in Hudson, people come from miles around!

Let's review some of the BEST places, shall we?

There's a new "neighborhood" in Hudson, and it's not NoWa or SoWa (North of Warren or South of Warren). The new neighborhood is called BeLo 3rd....meaning, Below Third Street.

"BeLo 3rd - Just Keep Walking!"

pm wine bar is BeLo 3rd, and now that they have a FULL liquor license (skip the AA meetings this week), pm is on the top of the list of places to get a blow job in Hudson!

They're right after the jail cell at the police station and Tanzy's.

I started a new neighborhood in Hudson myself, called...

"UnDa My Skirt - Just Keep Licking!"

Speaking of licking, there's LICK Hudson! Those boys are now OPEN for business....wink...wink...

Tell them Trixie sent you....see how far you get...

And let's say you want a REAL (blow) job!

Then, go to the Gay and Lesbian Professional night on Wednesday, April 29th - 6PM - at the Midtown Tap and Tea Room in Albany!

Tea Room. Get it?

If all else fails, there's my party on May 23rd. You want a blow job, no problem! I'll arrange it.

hey......the cover's $ get what you pay for...

Wet Tshirt Contest at the Next Trixie's Party!!!

...this is not what we mean...

I'm sure this happens to you, too. You're in the middle of compiling computer code in a beige cubicle somewhere and you get a text message.

'How about a wet Tshirt contest? We can get a kiddie pool on the stage.'


I'm thinking....everyone's going to be in WHITE....kiddie pool...water....T shirts...GREAT!!

If you don't HAVE a white t shirt, I'll give you a FREE Trixie T just for entering!

Ideas! Ideas! Ideas!
Gentle readers, I make you no never know what'll happen....

All I can promise is that each winner, male and female, will get $25 cash plus two free drinks.

I have a feeling that if you're IN the contest, then you probably don't need any more drinks....

This is the plan:

As a project manager, in many beige cubicles, I've learned to set proper expectations - like the expectations for the next Trixie's Whorehouse Wet T Shirt Contest on May 23rd.

Remember, folks, we're only charging $5 at the door.

You pay more for cigarettes.

....and then there's....

Here's my favorite Bea Arthur story...I don't know if it's true or not...

A middle-aged gay man saw Bea Arthur after a show. He walked up to her and started gushing.

"Bea, I love your work. I loved you on 'Golden Girls'. You are my favorite! I grew up with you. You are like a grandmother to me."

Bea took one look at him and said, "I'm not your fucking grandmother," and walked away.

I believe the story....and that's why I love Bea Arthur.



Thursday, April 23, 2009

Movable Feast Ideas

Dear Trixie,

The Movable Feast is this weekend, and my partner and I don't know what to do!

We signed up years ago, and we've done it every year. We totally support the Opera House, but now that we have Netflix, we rarely go to any events in town. Maybe, if there's free wine.

Who needs to leave the house, anyway? There are some nights when my husband and I just gaze into eachother's eyes....for hours.

Trixie, one day, when you're in a happy, monogamous gay marriage, you'll understand.

But, it's been a rough year for us. Our trust funds have plummeted, and well....I might have to...clutch my pearls....get a JOB!

Like, a real job that actually pays money.

We still want to do the movable feast, to keep our Hudson social standing, but we just can't afford it.

Trixie, I know that you're a "Victory Garden Gal" who can find ten uses for a pair of pantyhose with a run.

How can I do the Movable Feast this weekend, and not spend a bundle?

Your dearest and closest friend,

Dear Margaret,

Get on the horn and call the Grand Hudson Buffet, now! They're doing a Movable Feast special.

You can go there, pick out what you want, put it in a Styrofoam container, weigh it, and then serve it on your Pottery Barn plates!

They'll never know. Just serve lots of alcohol.

You better move quick, girl, you're not the only one with "funds-a-low" disease. There will probably be at least five dinners in Hudson this weekend with bananas in a sweet strawberry sauce and pork fried rice.

In a pinch.....there's always Kennedy's!

Love ya,

PS - I keep a pair of used pantyhose by the bed. They're perfect for tying that special man to the bedposts - and they leave no marks! Margaret, ask your husband.....he knows.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


...and when the Common Council meeting was over, this was all that was left...

The first FIVE people who can tell me WHERE in Hudson one can find this morbid scene, will receive a FREE "Trixie's Whorehouse, Hudson, New York" Tshirt!

Send an email to

The address of the gasoline scene
Your Tshirt Size (S, M, L, XL)
And your snail mail address

First FIVE correct entries will get a free T!

T for Trixie!

Love ya!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Grey Gardens

Trixie, what does "Grey Gardens" have to do with Gay Hudson?

There's absolutely no connection.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Bunnybrains on Easter Sunday. Why go to Church?

Sunday, April 12, 2009 at 7:30pm
Jason's Upstairs Bar
521 Warren Street
$5 cover

The Bunnybrains are performing on Easter.....which is appropriate......because of the Easter "bunny" connection, not the Easter "raised from the dead" connection....

I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of Noise "music".

I don't get it. I find it annoying, but I think that's the point.

Remember folks, we have to think outside of the bunny box, and support local culture and give money to local artists......even if they annoy you.

But, what do I know? I'm just a drag queen who works with accountants. I don't understand much of this art stuff that people make or buy in this town.

Who am I to say anything?

If people buy it, great.

I guess it's all part of stimulating the local economy.

Although, I think that if we REALLY wanted to stimulate the economy of Hudson, we would send Bunnybrains on a tour of China, (where they have our money after all the shit that we bought at Walmart that's made in China), and then have Bunnybrains bring some of that money from China back home to Hudson.

Why, I'll even go to China to bring some money back.

Or, maybe I'll just plant a Victory Garden.

Is this recession over yet? I'm bored.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Trixie's White Party - Sat. May 23rd!

It's Memorial Day - You can wear white!

Saturday, May 23rd
Jason's Upstairs Bar
521 Warren St
DJ GIO!!! with guest DJ Abel
Recession Special - $5 cover for everyone!

Grab your pitchfork, we're going to Catskill!

Nowadays, pirates drink Bud Light. What happened to grog?

In yesteryear, when Hudson was filled with seamen (and semen!), Hudsonians would grab their pitchforks and torches and storm Catskill, pillage and plunder the village on a Saturday night, and steal the virgins and any booty.

But, there hasn't been a virgin in Catskill since 1956.

Hudsonians getting ready to pillage and plunder Catskill with our drink of choice; Malibu RUM and Diet Coke. Catskillians don't put up much resistance, but, also, don't expect to find a virgin.

Some nights, you would pillage and get a small booty, and some nights, there was a LOT of booty!

It's sad that the pillage and plunder days are over. Now, the two towns have Cat and Dog statues and art shows.

What fun is that? Where are the wenches?

I'd pillage and plunder Catskill just so I can wear the boots!

Soon Hudson will have its own Lowe's and super Walmart, then there will be very little reason to go over the river, except on bowling night.

Well, it IS called 'Ho Bowl. Bowl naked at your own risk. Do not tell them I sent you!

If you are bowling naked, then, guys, I wouldn't stand too close to the bowling ball return....just in case.

This Saturday, tomorrow, the 11th, Rebel Katz, the gift and apparel store at 384B Main Street, will celebrate its first anniversary 4 to 9 p.m, during Catskill’s “Second Saturday” event. The party will feature music by local band Bourbon Scum and surprise performers!

I'll be there, drinking their free alcohol, and promoting my White party on Memorial Day weekend.

Why not?

There's an art show on Saturday in Catskill called, 'Transitions", which sounds like the perfect show name for me! Although, if I had a show called "Transitions", it wouldn't be about "Light and Form".

You can't drink too much of their free booze, because you still have to drive over the bridge, but hey, until my party on May 23rd, what else is there to do on a Saturday night?

Love ya,


Tuesday, April 7, 2009


The perfect backdrop for your Vermont gay wedding!

Friday, April 3, 2009


Save the Date - Trixie's White Party - Saturday May 23 - Hudson

White Party
May 23rd
Memorial Day - Wear White
DJ's GIO !!! and Abel
Jason's Upstairs Bar
521 Warren St - The Hud - 12534
10 pm

Vermont and Iowa: Gay Marriage on the Farm

It's a big gay day.

Both Vermont and Iowa have decisions on gay marriage coming out today.

These gay farmers are serious about getting married!

(Well, what else are you going to do in the middle of Iowa or Vermont?)

Can't you just brand your partner, or get one of those ear tags?

Why not? This way, it'll make it so much easier to know that he's in a committed relationship when you see his profile photo on manhunt.

...not that I'm, not at all.

The Vermont governor has promised to veto the gay marriage bill, if it comes to his desk.

Thanks, fella. Send him an email and let him know what you think.

The argument is, that the current civil unions in Vermont is sufficient.

Yeah, but....

If you're legally going to use the term "marriage" for straight people, then use the term "marriage" for gay people.

Either that, or, both straight and gay people are "civil union-ed". I'm fine with that, too.

The point is that they are both equal.

I'm not sitting at the back of the bus.

Although, I can't even remember the last time I was on a bus.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

The City of Hudson takes Stock of Housing Property

The City of Hudson is currently taking stock in the properties that it owns. Hopefully, some of the houses can be sold, and help raise city revenue.

I think it's a great idea!

Let's look at some of the houses that are on the list, shall we?

Houses throughout the city are being sold, either South of Warren,

or, North of Warren.

(this is actually what the inside of my house looks like now)

But, it's a mix, you just never know. Some are going to move faster than others, like this one, that's been vacant for a while.

Or, some houses that just need a little work:

There's this one, out on Jocelyn, which would be perfect for a divorcée, or two, and their children.

Or this house, a beautiful home on Willard Place, which could make a wonderful rental or weekend getaway.

If you could EVER get rid of the current tenant!!

Just don't-a-tell her I sent you!


Love ya,