Saturday, August 29, 2009

John Mayer


So, like, for real, I have this long-winded blog post under drafts about co-dependent relationships, and friends who you don't hear from for three months as soon as they start dating someone...

And people who are in abusive relationships because the guy is hot and why do we put up with so much shit from stupid jerks?

Basically, wondering why do middle-aged gay men act like teenage girls...and why do we ignore the warning signs?

Then, I found some photos of John Mayer in a Borat thong.


I thought, fuck the essay on co-dependence and superficial, shallow relationships. I'll post it next week...

He has such a cute little butt!

-Trix

Yeah, thanks, John...

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Trixie's Center for the Performing Arts presents Tom Judson in "Canned Ham"



For Immediate Release:

First, it was Trixie's Whorehouse - a popular dance party success in the city of Hudson!

Following, the city of Hudson was graced with Trixie's Tupperware Parties, Trixie's BINGO Madness at pm, the wine bar, and baked goods 'from Trixie's Oven'.

Now, the Trixie Starr Center for the Performing Arts in Hudson, New York, is pleased to announce the world premiere of Tom Judson's delightful one-man show, Canned Ham.

Tom Judson, (a.k.a Gus Mattox) will be previewing his show at Jason's Upstairs Bar, 521 Warren Street, Hudson, New York on September 10th at 8pm. Doors open at 7:30. Admission is $10.

For more information on Canned Ham, please read Tom's blog:
http://cannedhamcamper.blogspot.com/

The entertaining hostess, Ms. Trixie Starr herself will bake her famous cream puffs, available for $2 per puff.

Ms. Starr is quoted as saying, "On a Thursday night in Hudson, I'm giving you both beefcake and cream puffs. What the fuck more do you want?"

Hope you can attend.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Tupperware Party in Poughkeepsie!

Trixie's Tupperware Party at Babycakes in Poughkeepsie last Thursday night!

Now, look....

Look at all the cute boys in the good ol' POK!!!

You know I'm there. I do what I gotta do.

A drag queen, some plastic, and about 50 cute gay boys, and babydoll, you have a party!

I "picked up" a few guys that night.

I like the little ones! I just put them in my purse and take them home!























This was the "Trixie Tickler", the fav drink of the evening!








Babycakes in POK. Right across from Vassar! We love them!

so so wrong...

This video is so so wrong...but you have to watch it!!



Thank you Isis for the link!

Ok...I debated posting this...

It's Schadenfreude, or happiness at the misfortune of others.

But, I thought...they DID post it up on youtube....which means they imported it into their computer, and then uploaded it. So, if THEY didn't think it was funny or want anyone else to see it, then the women in the video wouldn't have uploaded it. If it was a mistake, they would have taken it down by now. No?

I don't know.

What's with the clown mask?

Monday, August 24, 2009

Gay Day at the Duchess County Fair with Isis Vermouth Wednesday, Aug. 26th!

Isis and her boys.

It's a Big Gay Hudson Valley!

My newest best friend and gal pal, Isis Vermouth, decided that she is going to go to the Dutchess County Fair on Wednesday, Aug. 26th - and make it a Gay Day!

Why not?

Isis has great parties down at Truman's in New Paltz, which is an amazing space! It's worth the trip.

And who doesn't like a club filled with drag queens and college-aged New Paltz boys?

Yeah, I know, it's an hour away, but just get in the car and drive!

This is how I think of it....

If you live in the East Village, what are you going to do, NOT date someone who lives in Washington Heights? You know it's going to take at least an hour to get there on the train.

Or, worse even....if you live on the Upper East Side and want to date someone on the Upper West Side. What are you going to do? Walk across the park? Take a cab every time? Take the subway down to 59th or 42nd, then across, then up again? At least an hour on the train....

I think dating someone an hour away is a GREAT idea! You don't need to see them every day in the beginning. No. Not at all - once a week is sufficient. If they need constant attention/affirmation then there's a problem anyway....you need someone who already has a life and is not looking for you to fill the void of their existence. Trust me.

Trixie's "Dating Time Scale Rule of Thumb" is the following:

1) Within the first three months, no more than one date/week...on average.
2) No one calls the other a "boyfriend/girlfriend" until after three months of dating.
3) No one moves in with anyone else in the first year. This is important!

I don't care if their lease is up, they're not moving in! No. Forget it. Don't argue with me.

JUST LISTEN TO TRIXIE!!

(That should be the name of my new radio show.)

You need a year. Within a year's time, then you'll know if you're compatible. What's the rush anyway? If you're so in love, then you're going to spend the rest of your lives together, so what difference does a year make?

Yeah, I know...I'm going to get emails like,

"But Trixie, I met him on Manhunt and I knew that he was the one. We are living together after two weeks."

You want to know what real love is? I'll tell ya....

Real love is when you both close the Manhunt accounts....really....not, I'm going to close THIS Manhunt account, and leave the other one open and just block my boyfriend. No. That doesn't count.

It's when you stop looking over their shoulder to see if there's someone "better" out there. That's when you know you're happy.

Anyway, where was I?

If you want to go to the Dutchess County Fair, but you don't want to be the only homo there, then go with Isis. She's a hoot.

Wouldn't you want to walk around and look at prized pigs and cows with a drag queen?

I don't think I'd do it any other way...


Love ya,
Trix

************************************************************************
Lets show them some real fun!!

Isis Vermouth
Price: Adult Ticket $12 Senior age 65+, and Military w/proper ID $8 Children under 12 free
Date: Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Time: 4:20pm - 9:20pm
Location: Rhinebeck, New York 12572
Street: Rt 9
Email: isisvermouth@yahoo.com
Description: So I'll be prancing around 4:30pm.. Unless people want to join me earlier in the day.. I would be down!!

After Party @ Halo Main St Poughkeepsie!!

Fair Hours
Tuesday - Sunday: 10 am-10 pm
Rides Run Daily: 10 am-11 pm; Fri & Sat 10 am-midnight
Commercial Vendors: Open 10 am-10 pm
Food Vendors: Open 10 am-11 pm

For six days each August, the Dutchess Fairgrounds on Route 9 in Rhinebeck plays host to nearly half a million patrons for the Dutchess County Fair. The second largest county fair in New York State is the with big name talents, one of the finest carnivals in the entire country, free shows and attractions. This is a major playground for Dutchess County in the Hudson Valley.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

BINGO MADNESS PACKS THE HOUSE!!!

Trixie's Biscotti and BINGO lucky charms!
With these lucky charms, maybe you'll win some of Trixie's cream puffs!


The secret to happiness is BINGO, wine, good friends, sugar, butter, and cream.


They came all the way from England....and Greene County....just to play BINGO!


BINGO makes people happy!


Next BINGO night is Tuesday, September 1st! Hope to see you there!

Trix

Last Dance, Last Chance for Love...


"Stay tuned as we prepare to announce the opening of our new home in Hudson, NY."

OK.....I'm tuned.

Trix

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

BINGO MADNESS - Tuesday, Aug 18, 7-9pm @ pm, the wine bar



I'm doing another BINGO night next week at pm, the wine bar.

I can't even make up this story...did you hear the one about the woman taking side BINGO bets at the Hudson American Legion Hall?

You think I'm making this up? I'm not, it's true!

Click here!

Thank G-d she wasn't at my BINGO night! Side BINGO bets! Can you believe it !?!

I would have said, "Listen, lady, take your illegal gambling to another wine bar!"

Or, I would have asked for a cut of the commissions.

(How much do you think she actually made as a BINGO bookie in Hudson? Like $500? I can't imagine even a thousand. I could not have been several thousand...I don't know, I'm just guessing....)

I'm sitting at home, after a Tupperware Benefit Party I just did for the Second Show. It was fun, I think the gals had a good time....and they bought lots of Tupperware!

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Trixie, you are doing so many events lately...."

Yeah, I know. Tell me about it.

Tonight, I walked out of Jason's, in heels and a wig, with a shit load of Tupperware, and I thought to myself,

'What the fuck - I can't wait to go back and work in a beige cubicle in some huge corporate entity, in a pair of khaki dockers and a striped shirt and stare at a computer screen all day!'

Nirvana.

OMG. That would be great! Easy gig, real money!

I'll sit in meetings all day long and assign tasks to people - who will then be held accountable to get them done!

....wow...

Until then, I'll put on a dress and a wig and call out BINGO numbers, bake biscotti, throw parties and sell plastic.

I'll do BINGO nights until I'm not doing BINGO nights.

It's hard being a struggling drag queen...trust me, I haven't quit the day job....

-Trix

PS - Oh yeah, come to BINGO Tuesday night. They're actually fun. Just go out, have a few drinks, and meet some people. What else are you doing on a Tuesday night? Watching TV? Cruising Craigslist?

.....please....

Cute Cop Hired by Hudson Police Department...


Did you read the Register-Star today? The Hudson Police Department just hired a new cute cop! A twenty-three year old hottie!

I don't know how this is going to impact crime in town.

I think that more people will purposefully do things wrong just to get arrested. They need to hire unattractive police officers.


I think you'll find more and more people walking around town with cocaine-filled balloons shoved up their wazoos just for the opportunity to get a cavity search.

(I use the term, 'wazoo', specifically, because it is gender-neutral. I'm talking male wazoo...and both female wazoos.....the plural of wazoo is sometimes 'wazii' - its Latin.)


The cocaine-balloon-wazoo smuggling trade is HUGE in Hudson! No one knows. Tons of cocaine are regularly put in balloons and shoved up wazoos daily to cross the border from South of Warren to North of Warren. People could just walk or drive it over, but what fun would THAT be?


Cocaine-balloon-wazoo smuggling is so big in Hudson, it has become an art form. These artists in town just take over everything...and of course (again) this year's cocaine balloon animal is a DOG. People are still complaining...


You don't have to do anything illegal, actually. You could just take a balloon and fill it up with baking powder and shove it up your wazoo.

When the police do a search and find it on you, they'll probably ask,

"Why are you carrying around baking powder in a balloon in your ass?"

Just look at them, point blank, and say,

"For my muffins."


Love ya,
Trix

This is how I would combat crime.