Friday, October 30, 2009
Wait, I forgot, there's a bike race tomorrow.
It was last week, but it was postponed because of the rain. Now, it's tomorrow....Halloween.
Register tomorrow at noon by the Boat House. Ignore the information on the flier, because it's wrong.
Tomorrow at noon at the boat house.
Anyway, this is NOT just a bike race. It's like a wacky bike race.
It's a cross between "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World" and a fraternity initiation.
Imagine Ethel Merman shaving your ass, then you ride a bicycle throughout Hudson to promote bicycle awareness.
That's not what REALLY is going to be happening, only because Ethel's dead...but it's in that vein. Does that make more sense now?
It's $10 to register.
Ok, so everyone is asking me what I'm going to be for Halloween.
Don't I get dressed up enough, folks?
Can't I just go out in jeans and a tshirt?
I had this one guy, who had not seen me out of drag say, "Wow....I didn't know it was you, Trixie, I thought you'd be taller."
"Oh, well, I'm not wearing heels."
I wear sunglasses in drag so that people don't see me rolling my eyes.
Gio is going to be spinning at the Red Dot tomorrow night.......and he might actually play some music!
(I've used that joke before on this blog, but it still cracks me up.)
So, this is the plan, Stan...
First go to the pre-party at pm. Aaron will be the bartender.
Then, go to the Red Dot for their party, "Zombie Zoo".
Why "Zombie Zoo"? Why not TV sitcom night?
DJ Mr Chips will be the anchor breaking down the usual run of soulful breaks, mash ups and party favs.
And warming up the night will be DJ T-Bone. To sweeten the deal we've joined forces with Chatham Brewers who will be offering not only cheap drinks but also some great prizes for best costumes.
And if you happen to be the GORIEST in the house that night, DA | BA Restaurant has generously offered a prize gift certificate of $50 toward a meal at their incredible restaurant.
A crew is in place that plans to convert the 2nd floor into a whole new festival of frights.
Come out and celebrate the freak in you, our birthday and whatever else you want!***************************************************************
When people ask me why I live in Hudson, I tell them,
"Well, it's a small town, I can go out drinking, and then stumble home."
The drunks totally understand and don't ask any other questions.
I don't have to get into the architecture, proximity to New York City, artistic community....
It's a small town, you can go out drinking all night long, and walk home.
Done. Move to Hudson.
Like Tom Judson, who is performing in Catskill the night of November 14th.
You remember Tom (aka Gus Mattox)?
In 2006 he won the Oldest Living Porn Star award or something like that.
I think he beat out Ron Jeremy.
It's Tom's birthday on November 14th. So, he'll even be older when you see this show, as opposed to seeing him in Hudson in September.
Now, you can drive farther to see an older porn star play the accordion and not take his clothes off.
It's $10, and what else are you going to do?
Plus, it's at MOD cafe, which is really great and run by some fabulous organizing lesbians.
Lesbians are like well-oiled machines. They just keep running, and organizing. They really are the backbone of the community.
It's wonderful, because don't expect me to do any manual labor.
I'll sit at my computer, spit out words of wisdom, and collect money at the door.
You want something nailed into a wall?
Ask a lesbian.
I'm sorry, I can't do it....I'm really busy at the moment.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
"Oh Gator, I wish you were a Democrat!
The life of a Republican is a SICK and BORING life!"
If you've walked down Warren Street lately, I'm sure you've noticed, on that empty-ish building on Warren and Fifth, there's a sign that reads, "Time for Change".
And I was thinking...
Change? What change?
The mayor is running unopposed, so what's gonna change? Over the past two years, the city has lost hundreds of jobs, and what's going on with the waterfront and the truck route? Those issues pop up every year it seems.....
BUT - listen -
The change is in the 5th Ward!
And you're thinking, "What does that mean, Trixie? And why should I care?"
OK - here's the deal...
Have you ever been to a Hudson Common Council Meeting? You should go. Seriously. Just go. Go to one of the informal or formal meetings, that's when the council votes on stuff.
The council votes are weighted - that means that some council members votes count more than others.
The biggest district in this city is the Fifth Ward - the area North of Warren and East of Fifth Street.
The fifth ward council person's votes are worth more than some other member's votes combined.
It's based on population. Years ago, when there were more families and apartments on Warren and Front Streets, the area next to the river had more voting power, but not anymore.
There's a guy running in the Fifth Ward, David Frank, and that's the change we need. Just click on the link and you'll read the post.
I agree with the "Register-Star" on this one.
You know that when the "Register-Star" and GayHudson.com - the two main media outlets for this city - agree, then it's BIG!
"What's the matter with the current Fifth ward council members, Miss Trixie?"
Well....how do I put this?
Let's just say they don't come to my events....and leave it at that.
Not even my BINGO nights.
If you want my endorsement fellas, then come to a Trixie party.
Hey, the Hudson firemen show up - and I'm very supportive of them!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
In my mind, I'm sure there was a time in Hudson's history when the sailors and whalers were sitting around on a Saturday night, saying...
"We're so tired of all these old whores on Diamond Street. I know, let's go to Catskill!!"
They were too lazy to go to Albany, (plus you never really know which night to go out in Albany - this was before Bear nights).
Catskill's easy, and close.
The whalers and sailors would leave Hudson's docks and float right into Catskill Creek, rape and pillage the town, and when they were done, float right back. This way, they wouldn't have to worry about a police DWI roadblock on the Rip Van Winkle Bridge.
They already had enough points on their license, and God forbid if you're without a car upstate.
I think it was last year sometime, who remembers, when I got bored of all the "whores on Diamond Street" myself, called up a few friends, and said, "Hey, let's go rape and pillage Catskill tonight."
And they were like, "Sure, why not?"
We were hardly an angry mob, but we went.
It was fun.
The next time, though, I made a mistake and I PLANNED the "Rape and Pillage of Catskill" night, and let the Catskillians know we were coming ahead of time.
Anyway, we get to Catskill and half the town is naked, on all fours, all lubed up and waiting - their bedroom doors unlocked.
And we were like...."um, this really isn't that much fun now."
We felt obligated to fuck half of Catskill, since we told them we were coming, and if we didn't, they'd send us nasty text messages or un-friend us on facebook.
I see it on Craigslist every now and then, some guy posts a picture of his ass in the air with the caption, "Rape My Ass".
I want to send him an email stating,
"Excuse me, but by definition, if you're ASKING, or in this case, TELLING me to rape you, then it really isn't 'rape'. 'Fuck My Ass', or even 'Cornhole My Butthole' would be more appropriate. "
Yes, it's semantics, but still! There's no need for improper word usage. It's just wrong. C'mon! For instance, you know that if they're using very poor punctuation or grammar in their craigslist ad, then you're dealing with some cracked-up whore. Am I right?
Anyway, where was I?
Yes, the raping was fun the first time in Catskill, but not so much the second. The same goes for the pillaging. The first time, it was fun, I got some really good stuff for the bedroom. The second time we pillaged, I thought, "I really don't see anything here I need..."
I'm sure there's some really good stuff in Catskill, (I don't need the Greene County Chamber of Commerce emailing me, complaining that I told my blog readers not to pillage their town...) but that second night of raping and pillaging Catskill, my friends and I looked around, and thought, 'you know, we already have so much stuff that we need to get rid of in the basement, let's just go get a drink instead.'
Why pillage what you don't really need? Plus, all of us had to make room in our houses for the next Stair Gallery auction.
So much for the "Raping and Pillaging of Catskill" nights.
Some of my events work, some don't.
By the way, I heard that Mr. Tom Judson of "Canned Ham" fame will be performing in Catskill the night of Saturday, November 14th at Mod Cafe, 8pm. (I'll write more about that another time.)
Maybe we should all go across the river, watch the show, have a drink, and instead of raping Catskill, we'll just go out and buy a good prison porn DVD.
How about we just download it, instead?
Why have another DVD around the house? I have enough of those....
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Now, the Register-Star was running a contest recently. They would show you a piece of a fence and you had to guess which fence.
This is kinda like that.
But, there are TWO parts to this contest. You must get BOTH correct.
1) In the comments section of this blog, tell me WHERE you can find this image. Yes, it's in Hudson.
2) Tell me WHAT it SHOULD say. Or, what it means.
AND THE ANSWER IS:
Yes, the sign can be found there. Mr. Lick got it.
My GUESS is that the sign SHOULD read:
"Different season. Same good mood."
That would make more sense. I think they got the word, "Dissimilar" because they used some bad translation software.
That's what I think.
People don't listen to me, that's the problem.
I have TONS of excellent marketing advice, but no one follows it. I don't know why.
For instance, when I tell people that Hudson needs more Halloween events, I get a yawn.
They think this town is scary enough.
I say NO! We need to capitalize on it, market it. Make Hudson a major Halloween destination!
The city owns enough old houses, why fix them up? Put them all on a big haunted house tour! Then, you pay people a few bucks to put on a mask, jump out of corners, and scare tourists.
I'd do it.
BUT, if you really want to SCARE tourists, then you could give them a tour of a house and let them know the actual, REAL cost to fix it up and make it livable.
You see! Another brilliant idea! I have so many!
I'll start my own Hudson real estate company. All of my brokers will wear evil clown costumes. They'll take people on tours of Hudson houses, and "scare" them by telling them the TRUTH. We won't sell any houses, but we'll charge people for the tour.
"You see, it's water damage. It's going to cost you THOUSANDS of dollars before you even find out WHERE the water is coming from. Then, you'll find your walls are rotted, and you're going to have to replace everything! Wooooooooooo!"
"You think your taxes are high? Well, wait until you find out that your neighbor, who has a house three times the size as yours is actually paying less than half of what you do in taxes! They're under-assessed, and there's nothing you can do about it! Hahahaha!"
"Yes, it's a perfect little fixer-upper, right? You think you and your partner can do it? A little project? Well, it will bankrupt you and destroy your relationship! HAHAHA! You'll fight about it constantly. You won't have sex for YEARS and you'll become alcoholics!!!"
You see? I'm already frightened.
I'll call it the "Buyer Beware House Tour".
Or, maybe we should just have more pumpkin carving nights and hay rides.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
"Short Is Not Always Bad" - two hours of short films and dinner for about $20! Best deal in town!!
Free goat cheese appetizers provided by Bench 8 Creamery - the same guys who brought you LICK!
Stay tuned for the upcoming video!!!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Don't forget it's ARTS WALK this weekend!!
Local artists are curating the windows in town:
Gretchen Kelly - Goddess Salon presentation of paintings- open on Oct 17th + 18 sat/sun 12-4pm at 257 State St. corner of 3rd.
See you in town!